Cotton and Khaki
by Cheercaptaincutie
Summary: After the chaos at Vegas Night, Eli returns to Degrassi with his sister Jillian. Will Jillian stay true to her word about changing her bad ways, or is there even worse trouble for her ahead? And can Clare forgive and forget? Sequel to "Lace and Leather".
1. Prologue

_**This is the sequel to my story "Lace and Leather." This is for all my L & L fans! If you haven't read my story yet...go read it! Haha! If you haven't read it and you're too lazy to go and read it but you still wanna read this, then this is basically what "Lace and Leather" was:**_

_**Eli has a twin sister Jillian. Jillian's character revolves around her beauty and also her stupidity. xD She had some real problems with Fitz and she's a badass. Haha! Eli is very protective of her and when Fitz tried to stab Jillian at the Vegas night dance, he jumped in front of the knife for her. As it turned out, Fitz never intended to stab them after all. Anywho, I'm gonna shut up now and let you read my story. Enjoy! :D**_

**Prologue:**

_It seems that the people who you love the most hurt you the most. The thing is that if someone you don't like is hurtful to you, it doesn't really matter that much because you don't care about them and they certainly don't care about you. But when it's someone who's been by your side since birth, the pain is more excruciating than anything imaginable. I knew that I had to be strong because this was for my own good. I couldn't be in a place that threatened to tear my true character apart. I gently squeezed his hand one last time, before slowly sliding my fingers out of his and letting his hand drop back to his side. Then, holding back an eruption of tears, I turned away….never to forgive. Never to look back._


	2. A fresh start

_**Heyy guys! So this is where the story really starts! Yeah, sorry about just leaving you guys with nothing but the prologue, but here is the story! And don't forget...REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Please, for the love of god! I need to know that people are reading my story! xD**_

**Eli's POV**

_I was so sure that I was dreaming, but not sure enough to not be scared out of my freaking mind. With my eyes on the glint of the knife in Fitz's hand, I watched in horror as he slowly approached Jillian._

"_Fitz, stop!" I tried to yell, "Don't hurt her!" But no matter how loudly I yelled, all that came out was big puffs of air and maybe an occasional whine. I was completely helpless, as was Jillian. I tried to run over to her to help her, but my legs moved like molasses. Fitz smiled sinisterly and his lime green eyes glimmered in the dim-lit hallway._

"_Someone's gotta shut her up." He said ruthlessly as he plunged the knife into her._

"_NO!" I cried out. Before anything else could happen, everything slowly began to fade out….._

I awoke to the sound of an alarm clock. It only took me a few seconds to fully awake and realize that once again, this was not the sound of _my_ alarm clock, and that I was actually in the hallway right outside of Jillian's bedroom door. I lay on the hallway floor as I listened to Jillian stir around in her bed for about 5 minutes. Then, with a loud groan, she reached out and switched off her alarm clock. I quickly got up and picked up my blanket from the floor. Jillian walked out and quirked her eyebrows at me, "Eli, what are you doing outside my room? And why do you have a big blanket with you?"

"Well….." I started, trying to think up a good enough lie, "I just needed to air out this blanket." Then I began to shake it out in front of me so I could further convince her.

"You are so weird." Jillian said, rolling her eyes.

What Jillian didn't know is that I've been sleeping in the hallway outside her bedroom door practically every night now. Ever since Vegas Night, I've been waking up in the middle of the night from horrible dreams about Fitz trying to hurt Jillian, except this time I'm not able to defend her. I'd wake up in my bedroom from one of these dreams, and then I would get out of bed and walk down the hall to Jillian's room. I would first peek in her room to see if she was ok, which she always was. Then, I would take a blanket and lie down on the floor outside of her bedroom door. I wanted to make sure that she was safe and this way I felt like I could protect her.

"ELI! JILLIAN!" Cece shouted from downstairs, "Get ready! It's the first day back to Degrassi for you guys!" Winter break ended about a week ago, but Jillian and I had been suspended…for obvious reasons.

"Ok, mom!" Jillian and I both yelled back to her. We rushed around, fighting each other for the bathroom. I quickly showered then threw on a collared gray shirt with grey jeans and a black jacket and tie. Then I ran downstairs with my bag and waited for Jillian.

"Come on, Jill! We're gonna be late!" Jillian was upstairs, taking forever with her makeup, like always.

"Wait! Just five more minutes!"

"We don't _have_ five more minutes!" I said, looking at my watch, "We need to go now!"

"Ugh…fine!" Jillian groaned. She came down the stairs with her pink tote bag on her shoulder. She wore her usual ripped denim shorts with a black crop-top that said, _I taught your boyfriend that thing you like. _And, of course, she was wearing more make-up and glitter than Lady Gaga.

I rolled my eyes at her, "You really have no filter, do you?"

"Hey, it's not like our school has a dress code or anything."

"Well…as a matter of fact, I _did_ hear something about a new dress code. I just don't know what we're supposed to wear now."

Jillian shrugged, "Well I never got the memo."

I looked down at my watch again, "Oh shit! We're late!" I grabbed Jillian by her arm, "Bye Cece!"

"Uh…bye guys…" Cece mumbled as I practically dragged Jillian out the door. I hopped into the driver's seat of Morty, while she slumped into the other side.

"I guess we're taking the vehicle of doom today." She snorted.

"Well, get used to it. _I'm _doing most of the driving from now on." Jillian gave me one of those looks that told me that she was going to be difficult about this. "Please…I'm just trying to keep an eye on you."

"Ok….." she sighed, "On one condition…" She took a tiny, heart-shaped bottle out of her pink tote bag and began to spray the contents into the air.

"Jill...what is that?"

"Victoria's Secret." She said showing me the bottle, "_Desperation_."

I coughed, fanning the fumes away from my face, "Get that skunk spray out of here!"

"Dude, it freaking reeks in here!"

"Yeah, _now _it does!"

"Well," Jillian crossed her arms, "this sure worked a lot better than those useless air fresheners." She pointed to the smiley-face air fresheners hanging off my rear-view mirror. "Also, what emo guy has smiley-face air fresheners?"

"An emo guy with a sense of humor." I retorted with a smirk.

"Well, sense of humor or not, Morty still smells like rotting underwear."

I chuckled, "Well, as soon as you're done hating on the hearse, I would like to get to school."

"Since when do _you_ care about getting to school on time?" she asked, quirking her eyebrows at me.

"Since I need Clare to give me a second chance." I backed Morty out into the street and took off.

"It's ok," Jillian reassured me, "she'll forgive and forget."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about the _forget_ part, though."

"Yeah…..everyone's gonna be talking. They're gonna talk about you, Fitz, Clare…." she sighed, "….me."

I reached over and put a hand on her shoulder, "Hey…..it's gonna be alright. Look, people at school are gonna be talking a lot of shit. But we'll both get through this, together."

She rolled her eyes, "I thought you would be just about ready to disown me by now."

I smirked, "I promise, I'm not giving up on you." Jillian looked up at me and smiled. "Whatever it takes, Jill, I know we're gonna make it through."


	3. Crackdown

_**Hey, don't you wish that you could just read a fanfic without having to read these annoying author's notes at the beginning and end of each chapter? Hahahahaha…..WELL TOO FREAKING BAD! :D Lol! JK…and here we go!**_

**Jillian's POV**

We cruised into the school parking lot in Eli's famous death-mobile. I looked around and saw a lot of people wearing khaki pants and polo shirts. I chuckled, "What is it? Dress like a dork day?"

"I don't know." Eli shrugged, pulling into his usual parking space, "It must be a new dress code or something."

"You've _got_ to be kidding me." I said, disgustedly checking out the new outfits that everyone was wearing. Everyone was wearing khaki pants and most of the girls were wearing khaki skirts, no shorter than knee length. Everybody was either wearing a purple, red, blue, or yellow polo shirt with a Degrassi logo on it. Some people were wearing blue Degrassi jackets over their uniforms; probably trying to do the best they can to hide its hideousness. I could not believe this. There was absolutely no way I was going to be seen in anything even CLOSE to that.

"Ok," Eli said stepping out of the hearse, "we have English class right now." He offered me his arm as I got out of the car, "May I escort my sister to class?" He said jokingly. I smirked, taking his arm as we walked towards the steps of Degrassi. We saw lines of people standing on the steps.

I raised an eyebrow, "Hey, what's the hold up?" Eli craned his neck to look over the crowd to see what was could be going on. Suddenly, his face scrunched up in disgust, "No. Freaking. Way."

"What?" I asked, looking over at the door. Suddenly, I saw what Eli saw. Standing at the front of the door was a man in a uniform, who was checking everybody's bags. "Oh my god…" I said, feeling my jaw drop. "They make us go through security now?" I couldn't believe my eyes. Our school was turning into a police state.

Eli rolled his eyes, "Well, I guess we better get through this shit before we're late for class." Eli and I waited in line to be checked. When we finally got to the door, the security guard gave us both suspicious looks. I could never understand what it was, maybe the way Eli and I dressed, but adults have always treated us like we were bad kids.

"Step forward, son." He said, grabbing a hold of Eli's arm. Eli slid his black backpack off of his shoulder and handed it to the security guard. The man zipped his bag open and rifled through every single pouch. "He's clean." He told the second guard, who was standing next to him. "Move along now, son."

"Hey, Jill, I'm gonna go ahead to class." Eli said, taking his bag and walking to English.

"Ahem…..miss?" I looked up at the security guard who had his arms crossed, "Your bag, please?" I handed him my pink tote bag and watched him dig through it.

The second security guard gave me a quaint look. "Um, excuse me, what's your name?"

"Uh, Jillian."

"Jillian…Goldsworthy?"

I nodded.

The two security guards looked at each other. "That's the girl." One whispered to the other. Then he looked at me. "Yeah, miss, we're gonna need you to step off to the side here."

"Why?" I asked.

"We need you to take a breathalyzer test."

"Why me?" I questioned, getting a little pissed that he didn't ask anyone else to take a test.

The man ignored my question and reached for his belt, "I'm gonna need you to blow on this….."

I furrowed my eyebrows at his strange command. "Really?" But, he _was_ a security guard, so I guess I had to do what he said. "Well….I guess….." I said, slowly kneeling down on the ground.

The man looked at me confused as I tried to undo his zipper, "W-Whoah! What are you _doing_!"

**Eli's POV**

Jillian walked into Ms. Dawes class and sat on top of a desk next to me. She told me about what happened when she went through the security and I began to laugh hysterically, "You tried to do WHAT to a security guard?"

"I was just following orders." she shrugged, "He had a uniform and everything."

"Jillian, that's ridiculous! Why would he ask you to do something like that!" I asked, still not being able to stop laughing. Then I thought, cops these days…I was surprised he didn't just take it…..especially from a girl like Jillian.

Suddenly, Ms. Dawes came into the room. She gave me a stern look, "Mr. Goldsworthy, the new dress code is not mortician…." She then looked over at Jillian and her eyes got wider, "OR provocative club attire! That's detention for both of you. You know the rules."

"Actually, no we don't." I told her, as she walked to her desk, "Jillian and I skipped last week, remember?"

Ms. Dawes turned around and raised an eyebrow to us.

"Suspension." Jillian explained.

She thought for a second, "Well, that's a fair defense. But this is your _only_warning."

I smirked as I watched her turn away. Then, I got up and quickly hopped over about 10 desks and landed on top of a desk right next to Clare, "Dodged a bullet there." I told her.

She looked up at me, "I thought you only dodge knives."

"Really?" I said, wondering when she would ever get over this Vegas Night incident, "Three weeks and I'm _still_ in the dog house. I only messed with Fitz to defend _your _honor and if I'd know that pcycho was gonna pull a knife-"

"8…9….10." Clare counted, looking down at her watch. She then looked back up at me and gave me a cute smile, "_Now_ you're forgiven."

I looked down then peeked up at her with a shy smile, "Thank you." Then I pulled out two tickets that I had been saving for a while, "I'll make it up tonight, on our first official date."

Clare smiled excitedly, "You got Chuck Palahniuk tickets?"

I chuckled, satisfied with her excitement, "He's reading an unpublished fight club excerpt tonight."

"Oh my…._goodness_!" Clare exclaimed. I smirked at how she wouldn't dare say 'Oh my god'. "H-How did you get these?"

"I have lots of these lying around." I shrugged, "Sometimes I'll try to drag Jillian along to one of these things, but…let's just say it's not really her thing…

_*Flashback*_

"'_I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you.'" Chuck Palahniuk read, "'When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to-'"_

"_H-Hey!" Jillian bellowed, drunkly, "is that dumb jerk done talking yet…..I-I'm bored!" She then threw her beer bottle at the stage where Chuck was sitting._

"_Jillian, please….!" I whispered_

"_Security!" Chuck called, "Please remove this you__ng lady!" Two burly men in uniforms came over and grabbed a hold of Jillian._

"_Oooooh!" Jillian mocked, defiantly, "I-I'm sorry! I thought I was allowed to speak my mind. I thought this was Canada! I-I thought this was a free country! Isn't this a free country? I-I'm sorry….I-I thought this was a free country! I-I didn't know….I didn't know I was in some communist country! I-I tho…..I thought this was Canada!"_

_*End Flashback*_

"Ah…..I see…." Clare suddenly looked down in disappointment and sighed, "Wait…I've got the theater awards tonight, and _both_ my parents are coming."

"Ah," I said with the same disappointed tone, "they're not fighting anymore?"

"Ohhhhh," Clare nodded, "they're still fighting but fighting just might be the new normal."

I felt so bad for Clare. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like if _my _parents fought like that all the time. Jillian is already unstable enough…not to mention all of _my_ problems. I really needed to spend time with Clare. It had been three weeks since I've even seen her!

"But, the talk doesn't start till eight," I said, trying to convince her to come with me, "so do you think parental mediation will be done by then?" I could see it took her a second to think, but with another charming smile, she took one of the two tickets that were in my hand.

I smirked to myself, _Elijah Goldsworthy, you've done it again._

**Jillian's POV**

After English class was over, I walked out of the room with an unusually smiley Eli. "So," I smirked, "I see you and Clare patched things up." Eli shyly smiled and looked down. "Will you guys actually be _listening_ to Chuck Boring-nick, or will you be making out through the entire thing?"

With that, I finally managed to get a giggle out of Eli, which was immediately followed by an embarrassed clearing of his throat. "Well, I'm just glad that Clare and I finally smoothed things out. Now we can have a normal relationship."

I rolled my eyes, "With you, Eli, nothing ever turns out normal." Another chuckle escaped from his throat, before we both heard the bell ring.

"Well, I gotta get to pre-calc." Eli started down the hall, "I'll see you later."

I began to walk to my next class, when I ran into Mr. Simpson. "Jillian! I was looking for you." He told me. "Listen I need to talk to you." He pulled me aside, out of the crazy hallway traffic.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"Well…I'm just gonna start out by talking about the Vegas Night dance. You see, there were a lot of people who…acted out that night. A lot of them were girls. Girls who were involved in sexual conduct. You know what I mean…."

_Sexual what? What the hell is conduct? _I thought. _Damn, I hate when teachers use these…teacher-words!_

Almost as if he read my mind, he explained, "They were _doing things_."

"Ohhh!" I said, coming to realization.

"Yeah, so anyway, we now have this self-esteem seminar for these girls…..and I'm going to have you attend it as well."

I looked at him shocked, "Why me? What did I do?"

"Hmmm…let's see…" he said sarcastically, looking at me like I was stupid, "you showed up in inappropriate attire, you were _drinking_, and you were sexually involved with your date.

"Ok, one: I barely did anything with John! We just made out. Three: Yes…..I drink. Ok? I drink…I've been drinking since I was twelve. That's who I am and everyone knows it! And seventeen: about my 'attire'….." I thought for a brief moment then looked up at Mr. S, "what's attire?" Mr. Simpson just stood there for a few moments and gave me that 'are you really that stupid' look again, but I couldn't understand why.

"Well….." he began, shaking his head, "I also know about you fighting with Fitz."

"Fitz is a freaking jerk-off!" I defended.

"Listen Jillian," Mr. Simpson said, "this is not a punishment. We're trying to help you, and you're not alone! There are many girls who are taking this seminar." I rolled my eyes. I didn't _need_ any help, I didn't do anything wrong, and what the hell is a 'seminar'? All I knew was that whatever fancy, smarticle words Mr. Simpson used to describe this, I knew the truth: this was just another one of those slut classes.

**Bianca's POV**

It had been seven days since Mr. Simpson threw me into this skank class. Between having to be here with boiler room Bhandari and having to listen to Rachel's philosophies on how to 'fix ourselves', I didn't see how this class could get any worse. Then it did….

"Heyyy," said a valley girl voice, "is this, like, that senemar thing I need to go to?"

"_Seminar_." Rachel corrected her, "and yes, you're right on time. I'm guessing you're Miss Jillian Goldsworthy." Jillian nodded with a sour puss look on her face. I could tell she wasn't happy to be here either.

"Well, don't be shy!" Rachel beamed cheerily, despite Jillian's vibe, "Take a seat!" Jillian's eyes scanned the room, until they fell upon the only empty seat in the room…the one next to mine. She rolled her eyes as she sauntered over and sat down. She threw her bag down on the floor and slung her feet up onto the desk.

"So," Rachel began, "we all know that good self-esteem leads to a happy and successful life, right? Well, studies show that a lot of girls are at crisis levels, and…." Jillian's hand shot up in the air. "Oh, yes Jillian?"

"What's 'self-esteem'?" She asked.

_Oh my freaking god…you've got to be kidding me._

"Well, self-esteem is just your self-confidence," she explained, "you know like how much respect you have for yourself. Unfortunately, a lot of girls your age have very low self-esteem. They try and turn boys and sex into a competition and rumors can take over those girls' lives. What we're here for is to rise above those rumors."

"Rachel," I said, "that's great, but you gave us this same stupid speech last week."

"Well, we just need to let Jillian know why she's here."

I rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath, "Oh I'm sure _everybody _knows why Jillian is here." Jillian looked at me, as if she heard me, but didn't say anything. She just glared at me.

She looked over at Jillian, "Since it's your first day here, Jillian, tell us…when you have ever felt the most insecure."

_What could Jillian possibly have to be insecure about? _I thought, _She's the twin sister of the hottest emo guy in school. Her looks are so freaking perfect, it looks like someone pulled her right out of an anime book…with her huge eyes and her annoyingly perfect long hair, and the way her teeth are so perfect her smile looks like it was painted on like it would be on a Barbie doll._ It made me so angry how all of the guys fawned over her. But it really shouldn't bother me, right? Guys think I'm hott too, RIGHT? It's not like they are any more impressed by her than they are by me!

Jillian looked down with half-lidded eyes, her feet still propped up on the desk. She folded her hands in her lap, "Well there was this one time…"

_This should be good…_

"A couple of years ago…I was anomerexic, and I would make myself throw up all the time because I wanted to be thin. I already was thin,_ too_ thin, but I looked in the mirror and thought I looked fat, because that's what happens when you're anomerexic." I rolled my eyes and snorted, while everyone else gazed at her, somehow fascinated by her dumb story. Her large indigo eyes widened and she looked dramatically off into space with pouty lips, "But I had a lot of support from my family and friends, especially my brother Eli, and they all showed me that I'm really not fat! It was just all in my head, like, ya know." An 'aw' buzzed over the classroom as Jillian concluded her story. It even received a little applause.

I looked over at Bhandari, who was crying her eyes out and looking sympathetically at Jillian, "That's such an empowering story…." Alli beamed through her tears, "….you really are beautiful."

"Anorexia and bulimia are just about the scariest things that many teenage girls face nowadays. Jillian's self-confidence was rebuilt by the help of her friends and family. When you're in a time of self-esteem crisis, especially if it's as serious as what Jillian went through, you need to reach out to people for help because no girl can handle something as serious as anorexia by herself." Rachel concluded, "Jillian, you are a very strong girl."

As Rachel continued her lecture, Jillian turned to me with a smirk on her face which so scarily looked exactly like Eli's signature smirk. "I heard about Bianca's boiler-room service." She muttered, "And you think _I_ belong in here." Before I could say anything, the bell rang.

"Oh, time's up!" Rachel said, "We meet in here again tomorrow."

As I left the classroom, I overheard Owen talking with his buddies by the lockers. "So, guys," I heard Owen say, "I hear that the two trouble makers are back from suspension."

"Ah, Jillian….." beamed one of the other guys, "I don't know much about what happened, but I don't care. She's just so hott!"

"I know, right?" Owen nodded in agreement, "She could burn down the entire school and I would still love her!"

"She's even hotter than _Bianca_!" A different guy mentioned.

"Oh, _definitely_ hotter than Bianca!"

"You know what would be sick? If Jillian and Bianca got into a chick fight!"

"Holy crap! That would be sweet! Who do you think would win? Bianca or Jillian?"

Owen rolled his eyes, "Oh, Jillian, of course!"

"Are you kidding me?" said the other guy, "Jillian would _ruin_ Bianca! Did you see how she handled Fitz? Bianca wouldn't stand a chance!"

"Yeah," Owen snorted, "Jillian could rip Bianca a new ass…..._and _she's half her size!"

"_With _boobs double the size of Bee's, might I add."

Owen laughed, "Dude, you're so random!"

With that all the guys began to cackle like idiots. Needless to say, this wasMORE than enough to get my blood boiling. Does everyone really think that little bitch could take ME down? I don't know what happened with Fitz, but I know that I could totally own that squirt. I'll show them…I'll show them all! I'll take down that ho right in front of her emo pretty-boy brother.

And by the way, my boobs are just as impressive as Jillian's! *pout*

_**Heyy guys! Sorry that took so long to post! So I hope you enjoyed it and PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! If no one reviews, I won't think anybody is reading! :O**_


	4. Temper temper

**Eli's POV**

I was getting ready to leave the house to meet Clare at the theater awards. I had come home to drop off Jillian, then make sure I had everything for tonight. I figured I would just go wearing my school clothes...after all, they weren't really considered "school clothes" any more. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and it said that I had a new text:

_Hey Eli-_

_Can't wait for tonight! Love you! :D_

_xoxo_

_-Clare_

I smirked and blushed. I was so glad that Clare and I had finally worked everything out. Jillian, who was sprawled out on my bed, began to giggle.

"Awwwww!" she teased in a cute sing-songy voice, "You liiiiike her!" Although Jillian was not that smart, she could always read what she called my "Clare face".

"Stop it." I said, blushing harder.

"Ok…" Jillian smirked, "You _looooooove _her!" She puckered her lips and made kissing noises.

I smirked, blushing the deepest shade of red possible, "Do not!" Jillian giggled, kicking her feet behind her. "What are you doing in my room anyway?" Not that I minded….in fact, Jillian was like the only person that I was ever comfortable having in my room. I didn't even unlock the door when Adam would come over to play video games.

"I thought maybe I could help you get ready for your big date with Clare."

"Help me?"

"Yeah and for starters, please don't tell me that's what you're wearing."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Oh come on, Eli! You haven't seen this girl for three weeks! You need to take a more…_sexy_ approach." She reached down under my bed and pulled up a super tight, black V-neck.

"Are you _kidding_ me? That thing is like skin-tight!"

"Come on! Just throw this on with a pair of skinny jeans….and maybe if you're lucky the purity ring will come off." She concluded with a sultry grin.

"No. Way." I said, taking the shirt and throwing it back into the sea of junk. I looked at my watch, "Oh crap! I have to go!"

"Wait!" Jillian pulled me towards her and began to mess and ruffle with my hair.

"Jillian!" I said, pushing her away, "Why are you screwing up my hair?"

"Your hair looks so much sexier when it's messy." She giggled, proceeding to mess up my hair again.

I grabbed her wrists, "Stop it!"

"Come here! I'm not done yet!"

"Oh yes you are!"

"That's it! I guess I'm gonna have to do this the hard way!" With that, Jillian shoved me down onto the bed and sat on top of me.

"Jillian! What the f-" She slapped her hand over my mouth and began yanking at my hair again. I pried her hands off of me and flipped us over, so now I was on top. "You are not laying a hand on my hair!"

"Don't be such a baby!" She grabbed a pillow behind her head and bopped me over the head with it.

"Ouch!" I tore the pillow from her hands and began to hit her multiple times in the face with it.

"Ah!" She screeched, "Eli!" I laughed as I continued to hit her in the face. Finally, she sprung up on top of me and held the pillow over my head. I squirmed around and whimpered under the pillow. I almost passed out before she lifted the pillow off of me. "I win." she smirked.

"You know, I could have suffocated." I said in between breaths, "Now get off of me."

"Fine." Jillian slid her legs off of me and sat up on the bed. I waited for her to turn around, and then I jumped her and pinned her down again. "Hey!"

I sat on her stomach while she squirmed under me, "You're not winning that easily!"

"Oh yes I am!" With that, she punched me in the stomach.

"Oof!" I clutched my stomach and Jillian once again had the upper hand. She grabbed me by the shirt collar and flipped us over so she was on top again.

"Well what do you know?" She beamed, "Dah jay voo!"

I narrowed my eyes at her, "It's De ja vu, Jill. And you cheated! You hit me in the stomach."

"Well, you're lucky I didn't hit you any lower than that." she grinned.

"Fair….." I smirked, "I really have to go now." I pushed her off of me and got up off the bed.

"Well, now your hair looks all hott and messy." she teased. I looked in the mirror. My hair was a mess alright. I reached up to fix it. Jillian hopped off the bed and slapped my hand down, "Don't you dare fix it! Trust me it looks great!" I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my keys and cellphone off of my dresser. Jillian took a bottle out of her pocket and started to spray me with it.

"JILLIAN!"

"What?" She whined, "You need to smell nice."

I crossed my arms, "Are you saying I don't smell nice?"

"Fine, you need to smell _extra_ nice!"

I fanned the fumes away from me and coughed, "What is this stuff anyway?"

"It's a cologne sample. I think John may have left it here when we went to Vegas Night."

"Great, so now I smell like skater bimbo!" I began to walk out of the room and Jillian followed me and continued to spray me. "Hey! I said knock it off!"

"Eli! Don't be so difficult! Get over here right now!"

"Get away from me!" I said running away from her. Jillian tried to chase me but suddenly I heard a crash behind me. Then I heard small moans. I turned around and saw Jillian face-down in a pile of junk. "Oh my god! Jillian!" I quickly stepped over a bunch of boxes and knelt down next to her, "Are you ok?"

Jillian slowly brought her head up, "Ow…"

I grabbed her arms and helped her sit up, "What happened?"

"I…ow…..I think I slipped on a magazine and hit my head on that old toolbox." She pointed to my old toolbox, which I used to fix Morty, in front of her.

As she lifted her head up more, I saw blood dripping down on her forehead. "Oh god, Jillian, you're bleeding!"

Jillian put her hand to her forehead then looked at it, "Oh no…..I'm so sorry."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "We're apologizing for bleeding?"

"IS EVERYTHING OK UP THERE?" Bullfrog shouted from downstairs.

"YES!" We both answered.

"OK."

I examined Jillian's forehead, "I'm gonna go get something to put on that. Don't move!" I ran to the bathroom and got a washcloth. I ran it under cold water then came back into my room, "Hold this over it." I said, handing it to her.

"Why do you need that toolbox anyways?" Jillian asked, putting the compress on her head, "You have a brand new one to fix Morty with."

"Well, I-I-I….." Jillian raised an eyebrow at me. I sighed, "I didn't have the heart to throw it away...ok?"

"Do you have the heart to throw _anything_ away?" She said jokingly.

"Jill, I'm so sorry." I shook my head, "This is my fault. If I didn't have all this junk lying around, you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. We all have stupid quirks. It's no big deal." Jillian reassured.

"Yeah, but it IS a big deal when these stupid quirks are hurting my sister."

"Don't worry." Jillian said, "I understand that ever since Julia died, you have trouble letting go of things…even little things."

"I don't know…" I said, "I just feel like I lost something really important…..so I have to hang on to what I still have. You know? Not take things for granted." I picked up a lollipop wrapper, "Like this candy wrapper!"

Jillian gave me a strange look, "Are you sure _you're_ not the one who hit your head?"

I chucked, "Here, let's get you out of this death-trap of a room." I stood her up on her feet.

"Whoah….everything is spinny." She fell back into my arms.

"Ok," I said, slinging her arm over my shoulder, "you need to lie down." I helped her to her room and laid her down on her bed. She put the compress back on her head, wincing at the pain. "Jillian, are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, go! Go have fun!"

"I will." I smiled. I patted her on the head, before walking out the door. "If you need anything…my cellphone is on high. If you're still in pain, or if you need to go to the doctor, I swear…I will come right home-"

"Eli!" Jillian giggled, "Just go on your date! I'm gonna live, I promise. Clare's waiting."

"Ok, try to get some sleep while I'm gone." Jillian nodded. I walked out of her room and went downstairs. I rolled my eyes…..I could still smell that stink spray on me. Oh well….

I ran outside and hopped inside Morty. _Clare Edwards, get ready for the best first date of your life._

**Jillian's POV**

_I was being dragged down a blue-ish lit hallway. I felt a sharp, metal object against my throat. I looked down and saw that it was a knife….but I didn't care. As a matter of fact, I was somewhat amused by the way it glimmered in the dim lighting. I was off in my own world, as he dragged me down the hallway._

"_Come on, you little bitch!" he yelled at me._

_Fitz._

_What was I doing with Fitz? Were we having a play date? But I didn't care. For all I was aware of, that could have been EXACTLY what was going on. But it wasn't….._

_Fitz and I are slowly approaching Eli and Clare. They both look terrified. "You should go!" Clare says in a shaky voice. Next thing I know, I'm being slammed up against the lockers, with the knife to my neck. But I didn't care….whatever._

"_Don't touch her!" yelled an angry and horrified voice. It was Eli. His bright, emerald eyes were fixed on me. The knife came towards me…but I didn't care. When the knife was no more than an inch away from my chest, I was suddenly pushed onto the ground. I lifted my head up just in time to see the knife being plunged into Eli's chest. He slumped down onto the ground. Suddenly, almost as if someone had punched me in the face, it hit me. I knew exactly what was going on now. What had just happened…_

_I looked on in horror at the still body of my brother. "ELI!" I tried to shout, but my voice was muted completely. "ELIIIIIIII!" Nothing. Now I had awoken and come to realization._

_Now I cared._

I jolted up in my bed. I breathed heavily and my heart pounded in my chest. I peeked over at my clock.

_11:56 pm_

I couldn't believe what had just happened. I was totally wasted the night of the school dance and had no clue what was going on. I mean, I saw Eli jump in front of the knife for me and I remembered the basics of what happened when I woke up the next day. But it hadn't really occurred to me what had really happened…..or could have happened….until now. I sat up in bed, shaking, wishing Eli was here to comfort me.

"Eli?" I called. No answer. That crazy love bird was probably still on his date with Clare. I curled my knees up to my chest and tried to calm myself down.

**Eli's POV**

It was now midnight, as I drove Morty into the driveway. I noticed that Cece's car was still not here. Most parents would murder their kids for staying out this late…but my mom stays out later than me. Sometimes I even worried that my parents were having more fun than me. I got out and walked up the steps to my house. "I'm home!" I said, walking inside. Bullfrog was asleep in front of the TV. I walked upstairs, "Jillian?" I got to the top of the stairs and poked my head into Jillian's room, "Jill?" I saw Jillian sitting on her bed, curled up into a ball.

"Eli?" she said lifting her head up.

I walked over and sat down on the edge of her bed, "I'm sorry I'm back so late. How does your head feel?"

"Ok….." Jillian nodded. I placed my hand on her head. I felt her shaking a lot and heard her breathing heavily.

"Jillian, are you ok?"

"Huh?" She looked up at me, "Oh…oh yeah…."

I looked into her eyes, which were now wide, horrified indigo orbs, "You don't look ok."

She continued to shake, "I….I just had a bad dream. That's all." I continued to stare at her. She rolled her eyes, "It was about what happened at Vegas Night…except I-I finally realized…what could have happened…..and I was so drunk….h-he could have actually s-stabbed me. I-I was wasted and couldn't defend myself!"

"There was no way I was gonna let him hurt you." I told her, placing my hands on her shoulders.

"But, in my dream, when you jumped in front of the knife for me…..he _stabbed_ you…like for real. And y-you…."

I put my arms around her and held her to my chest. She threw her arms around me, continuing to shake violently. "Shhh…" I breathed into her hair, "I'm right here. I'm alright. Everything's gonna be ok. It was just a dream." I remembered when she was little, she was very nightmare prone. She would actually even scream in her sleep. But these weren't real time nightmares, like she had just had. These were your typical, six-year-old nightmares. Like the boogeyman and monsters and other silly things:

_*Flashback*_

_I was sound asleep, drifting off into dream-land. Everything was so peaceful and quiet…_

"_AHHHHHHHH!" I immediately awoke and jolted up in my bed. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The screaming continued. It took me a moment to realize that it was coming from Jillian's room. I quickly hopped out of my bed and ran over to her room. Jillian lay in bed, still asleep, screaming her head off._

"_Jillian!" I yelled, shaking her awake. She gasped, jolting up. "Jill….." She panted and shook. "Are you ok?"_

"_I had a bad dream again." she whined._

"_What was it about this time?" I asked, curiously._

"_I-It…..It was a wolf-man! A-And it was chasing me and trying to eat me!" Suddenly, the wind blew a tree branch against the window, making a really loud creaking noise. Jillian shrieked, jumping into my arms. I got scared too and yelped, being only 6-years-old myself. "What if he's still out there?" Jillian whimpered._

_I shook my head, "He's not out there anymore, I promise."_

"_How do you know?" She questioned with wide, indigo eyes._

"_Because….." I thought, "I beat him up!"_

"_Really?" Her face lit up a little._

"_Yep." I said, proudly, "And then, I threw him away in jail!"_

"_Were you scared?"_

"_Pfffft! He was more afraid of ME! He cried like a little baby!"_

_Jillian giggled, "Thanks Eli!" Then, her face dropped a bit, "But wait, what if he comes back?"_

_I put my arms around her, "Then I will stay here all night and make sure he doesn't."_

_*End Flashback*_

After a while, Jillian calmed down a little. "So," she asked, "how was your date with Clare?"

"It was…" I smirked, thinking back to our date, "interesting."

Jillian furrowed her eyebrows as her eyes fell on my left ear, "When did you get a piercing?"

I chucked, "Tonight….with Clare. We got matching piercings."

Jillian's eyes widened, "So…..you're cheating on Clare with another girl, named Clare?"

"No…." I laughed, "It appears that little Miss Saint Clare has a wild side. Her parents wanted her home, but she snuck out with me, got matching piercings, and refused to go home until now."

Jillian barked out a laugh, "No. Way. Are you _sure _this is the same Clare? The Clare with the purity ring?"

I rolled my eyes, "Don't remind me….."

Jillian reached out and touched the tiny silver hoop attached to the shell of my ear, "It's cute." She sat back and lifted up her shirt, revealing a similar tiny hoop attached to her belly button, "I remember when John and I got matching piercings. Good times….good times."

I laughed, imagining skater-boy running around with a belly button piercing. "So, how's your head?" I asked, pushing her hair aside to examine her forehead.

"Oh, it's a lot better now. It still hurts a little, but I feel better." She shrugged, "I guess I just had to sleep it off."

"Yeah." I agreed looking at her forehead. Now that it had stopped bleeding, the cut on her head looked a lot less bad than I thought. It had to be no more than two inches long. "Well, you should get some sleep. Remember we still have school tomorrow." Jillian nodded, laying her head back on her pillow. Suddenly, my phone buzzed. I picked it up and saw that it was a text message from Clare:

_Eli-_

_Tonight was absolutely amazing! And you looked so…hott! Especially the way your hair was a little messy. ;D Btw, did anyone ever tell you that you smell nice? Wow, sorry, I probably sound creepy right now….. :P I love you!_

_-Clare_

From where Jillian was, she could see the writing on the screen. She smirked in a self-satisfactory way and giggled. I rolled my eyes, "Oh, shut up!"

"I was right! I was right! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she teased.

"Fine. For my next date, I'll let you give me a full makeover." I said, facetiously. "Now, go to bed."

"Wait! Can you get me a beer?" Jillian asked as I left the room.

"Goodnight, Jillian!"

* * *

><p><strong>Jillian's POV<strong>

I sat in skank class the next day, thinking about Eli. He had been acting very strange lately. This morning he was awkwardly standing outside my room, just like yesterday morning. When I asked him what he was doing, he dropped onto the floor and started scrubbing it with his blanket and said, "The floor outside your room is filthy!" Now, I may not be the smartest pencil in the drawer, but I was pretty sure people didn't use blankets to clean things. I hated how people always tried to take advantage of me because they thought I was dumb. _Well, I may be dumb__,_ I thought, _but I'm not stupid! I am so focused and… _I spotted one of the girls sitting in front of me, wearing a really pretty necklace. _Oooooh! Shiny!_

"Ok, girls!" Rachel said cheerily, walking in, "I'm so sorry I'm late. I had a meeting." All the girls in the room quieted down. "Alright, so yesterday our good friend Jillian here told us a very inspirational story about her fighting bulimia. The only reason I want to reflect back on this is because I did some research, and did you know that approximately 7 million girls suffer from bulimia each year? It's mostly teenage girls like you, but some of them are even pre-teens." Rachel turned and smiled at me, "So Jillian, tell us more about how you overcame your issue."

I sat up proudly, "Well, I-"

"Lemme guess!" Bianca cut me off, "You sucked all the fat out of your ass and then pumped it into your gigantic tits!"

I looked over at Bianca and smirked, "And let _me _guess! You sucked all the fat out of your _head_ and then pumped it into your gigantic _ASS_!"

Bianca scoffed disgustedly, "Do you hear this, Rachel? It was this big fat mouth that created that incident at Vegas Night!"

"Excuse me?" I said, "Look who's talking, Boiler-room-Bianca!"

"Whoah! I didn't-"

"Dick-sucking-DeSousa!" An 'ohhhhh' buzzed around the class.

"Ladies! Please!" Rachel begged, "Find your inner peace!"

Bianca gave me a look like she wanted to kill me. "Ok, listen up….it was you're big mouth, dumb ideas, and drinking that caused the incident! Seriously, I'm surprised that you don't have a beer gut the size of Pluto!"

"And I'm surprised that you don't have a mouth sore the size of Pluto!" Everyone in the class laughed when I said that.

"Bianca! Jillian! Stop this right now! Please!" Rachel pleaded.

"Keep shooting off that big mouth! Keep it up!" Bianca challenged, "Let's see how many other people you can get arrested!"

"Shut up!" I yelled at her, "You don't know anything that happened at Vegas Night!"

"Oh I know!" She then said in a fake boo-hooey voice, "Eli bravely jumped in front of the knife for you, only to realize that Fitz wasn't actually gonna stab you two." Her voice then returned to normal, "It was you and Eli's fault that Fitz got arrested! You know, if your idiot brother was gonna do something stupid like jump in front of freaking knife…..he should have just gotten stabbed."

That was all I needed to hear. Before Bianca could breathe another word, I leapt up over one of the desks and tackled Bianca to the floor. I punched her in the mouth as hard as I could…..which by the way was pretty damn hard.

"Ugh!" Bianca grunted, punching me right back in the jaw. Instinctively, I kneed her in the crotch. I wasn't used to fighting other chicks as much as guys. However, that still threw her off a bit. I stood up and kicked her in the face and stomped on her head. Bianca whimpered, covering her face with her arms. I grabbed her by her hair and dragged her over to the wall. I threw her against the wall hard, and then kneed her head back into it.

"Had enough, yet?" I growled at her.

"Y-You….are crazy!" she shuttered weakly.

"Oh really?" I challenged, turning around. I heaved as I lifted up one of the desks and held it over my head. I approached Bianca who stared up at me, horrified.

"Jillian!" Rachel shouted, "Put the desk down!" Ignoring Rachel, I threw the desk down at Bianca. She quickly swerved away, but one of the legs still hit her head.

Mr. Simpson suddenly came barging in the room. "What's going on in here?" He demanded.

* * *

><p>I waited outside of Mr. Simpson's office, while he was in there with Bianca. After about 10 minutes or so, Bianca walked out of Simpson's office. She was holding an ice pack on her head where the desk hit her. She gave me a butt-ugly dirty look, before turning around and leaving.<p>

"Jillian." Mr. Simpson called. I got up from the bench and walked inside his office. "Have a seat." He insisted, pointing at the seat across his desk. I plopped myself down in the seat. Mr. S rubbed his temples with his hands and groaned, "Two…...days. You've been back two days."

"And right back in the swing of things." I added.

"Oh my god, Jillian….." Mr. S covered his face with his hands, "Why are you always picking fights with people?"

"It's never my fault, Mr. S!" I explained, "I'm always the victim in these things."

"You threw….a desk…..A DESK!" He continued in a frantic voice, "How in the world did you lift a desk anyway? They're really heavy! _I_ can barely lift one of those!"

"You see Mr. S, what you need is better upper body strength."

Mr. Simpson rolled his eyes, "We're not here to talk about my upper body strength! We are here to discuss you having these…these….…episodes!"

"Mr. Simpson?" Cece said, coming in the door with Bullfrog right on cue.

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy." Mr. Simpson waved them in, "Please take a seat." Cece and Bullfrog walked over and took a seat on either side of me. "Now, were here to discuss…a few things. First off, there was the fight with Bianca today."

"Now wait," Bullfrog interrupted, "exactly _what_ caused this fight?"

"Yes," Mr. Simpson agreed, "Jillian, I'm eager to hear _your_ side of the story."

I crossed my arms, "Bianca made me mad."

"Yes…" Mr. S raised an eyebrow at me, "we are aware of that. Do you know _why_ she made you mad?"

"She was being a bitch." I said bluntly, "She said some mean things about me and Eli….and she made fun of my boobs!"

"So then you responded by…..throwing a desk at her?" Mr. Simpson asked.

"A desk?" Bullfrog asked with a surprise look, "What did Bianca say to her that made her so mad?"

"Apparently, she was saying some negative things about Jillian and your son, which had to do with our last school dance."

"Hold up," my dad interrupted again, "you mean where that punk Fitz came at my children with a knife?"

"Yeah, and you see that's the other problem…"

"You know," Bullfrog said, gritting his teeth, "that kid better wish he never runs into me. I'll kill him with my own bare hands!"

"Yes, I understand what Fitz did was very unacceptable," Mr. S continued, "but you should know that Jillian and Fitz have been in conflict for quite some time. I've been hearing rumors about the two of them getting into a fist fight."

"What were you two fighting about?" Cece asked me curiously.

"Fitz was pissing me off." I grunted, "He called me a bimbo and a tart….AND he made fun of my boobs!" Then, matter-of-factly, I added, "I won. I kicked his ass."

"Hehe! That's my girl!" Bullfrog stated proudly. Mr. Simpson gave him a dirty look. "But….this is a very serious issue, of course."

Mr. Simpson folded his hands on his desk, "Now, I don't want to jump to conclusions….but I believe that Jillian may have a little bit of anger management issues."

"My little sunshine has a temper sometimes," Cece said innocently, "but she's not all bad."

"I know that Jillian is not a bad person," Mr. S reasoned, "but I think she just needs a little help to learn how to take control of her anger. We have a seminar here that focuses on just that."

"Is that the one that Riley was talking about?" I asked. I had talked to Riley, one of the seniors, the other day and he happened to bring up the fact that he had to take an anger management seminar here.

"Yeah, Riley Stavros did take this seminar. Now, he's able to focus better on important things and control his anger." Mr. S explained.

"That sounds like a great idea." Cece said, with Bullfrog nodding in agreement.

"W-What?" I said giving them each a shocked look, "You can't actually be serious about this? I'm already in that stupid self-esteem senemeer!"

"We know, Jill," my dad told me, "but we think this might be good for you. No offense, but you do have a tendency to lash out at people."

"I DO NOT LASH OUT!" I shouted. The three of them stared at me with that 'you-just-proved-my-point' look. I took a deep breath and settled back down. "Fine, I'll do the stupid senemar."

"Ok." Mr. Simpson concluded, "Looks like we have a deal."

"We'll see you and Eli at home, Jill." my mom said.

"Yeah, that's the other thing…" Mr. Simpson added, "Eli and Jillian will have to join me after school….in detention." He said it like he was rubbing it in my face. "Neither one of them are in dress code." I rolled my eyes. At least I would have Eli in detention.


	5. The unexpected

**Eli's POV**

I raised an eyebrow at Jillian, "Anger management seminar?"

"Yup." Jillian confirmed, "I throw one desk at Bianca and Mr. S throws me in the crazy class!"

My eyes widened in shock, "You threw a desk!"

"I-I was mad!" Jillian defended.

"Oh, you're _mad_ alright!"

"Bianca said some really rude things about stuff that she knows nothing about, and I hate it when people do that!" Jillian complained, "I hate people who have so many opinions about things that they don't know anything about. I don't have anger issues!"

"Well…." I said, twiddling my thumbs, "you do get angry….often."

"I do NOT!" she hissed.

"Shhh! No talking in detention!" the teacher scolded us.

"I….." Jillian whispered, looking at the teacher to make sure she couldn't hear us, "I do not belong with those crazy people!"

"Relax, Jill," I reassured her, "they just want to help you, ok? Look, everyone in that seminar is just like you. Riley had to be in that seminar, and he's not a goon."

"Well…I guess." Jillian agreed.

"They're just normal people who need help controlling their anger." I continued, "It's not like they're throwing you into some booby hatch."

Jillian nodded, "Ok." Then she started giggling, "Booby hatch…." She began laughing even harder, "BOOBY hatch! That's hilarious!"

"Ahem!" Both of us looked at the teacher, "Do I need to give you double detention?"

"Sorry." Jillian groaned.

* * *

><p>I grabbed the keys to Morty and my cellphone off of my bed. "Mom, I'm leaving now!" I shouted as I walked downstairs.<p>

"Ok, baby!" Cece said from the kitchen.

Jillian smirked at me as I entered the TV room, "Well! Look at you, all ready to meet Clare's parents."

"I'm really nervous." I admitted, sitting next to her on the couch.

"Hey, don't sweat it." Jillian told me, "Her parents are gonna love you!'

"How do you know?"

She rolled her eyes, "Trust me, _everyone _loves you."

"Thank you." I smirked at her. I stood up from the couch to leave.

"Ah-ah-ah!" She stopped me, pointing to the seat next to her, "Sit." I obeyed. She ruffled and messed up my hair like she did for my last date. "_Now_ you're ready to meet Clare's parents, you sexy beast." she joked.

"Thank you, Tyra Banks." I said, rolling my eyes. I saw Jillian pulling a tiny bottle out of her pocket. "DON'T even _think_…about it!"

She laughed, putting it back in, "Fine."

I walked out to Morty, making sure everything was perfect….besides my hair, which my _personal stylist _already took care of. I really did not want to screw this up. I knew how conservative Clare's parents were and I could sometimes come off as…well, a bad-ass. I needed them to see that Clare had a good, caring boyfriend.

**Clare's POV**

I placed my hands on my ears and shook my head, trying to block out my parents fighting in the kitchen…again!

"That's not how you cut a kiwi, Randall!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"A monkey could prepare dinner better than you!"

"Then why don't we call a monkey to do it!"

"We already have you!"

"That's it!"

*crash!*

My mom gasped, "Did you just try and throw a _melon_ at me?"

"Phu!" My dad spat, immaturely.

"You pick that up right now!"

"Shove it, you control freak!"

"Pick it up!"

"Pick _this_ up!" On that, my dad purposely farted really loudly. "Yeah! That's right, you bitch! Chew on _that_!"

"Oh! Real mature!" My mom scolded, "You're disgusting! You're setting quite an example for your daughter."

"Wait a minute….." My dad squeaked out a little more of his fart.

"Oh Randall! You're just like your idiot father! Are you gonna behave like this when that boy that Clare likes comes over?"

"Are you gonna _look_ like that, when this boy comes over, Helen?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's funny…I thought that you would get all dolled up for Clare's little boyfriend, so you could come on to him more easily!"

"WHAT!"

"You heard me! I know about your guilty, cougar pleasures! Well I hate to break it to you hun, but you aren't exactly MILF material!"

"You know what, Randall? You're a _CHILD_!"

"And that's probably why you married me, right? Well, I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be yelled at by a pervert!" With that my dad charged upstairs, cursing the entire way up."

"You know what?" my mom shouted after him, "I don't know _why _I married you! It was the stupidest decision I've ever made!" We heard a door slam upstairs.

"Um mom…..do you need help with dinner?" I offered.

"No thanks, sweetie." She said, rubbing her temples, "It's almost done anyway."

Things between my parents were getting worse and worse. I needed them to stop fighting. Inviting Eli over for dinner tonight was all part of my plan. Making my parents freak out last night with the piercing and coming home after midnight was only the beginning. The minute they find out that I'm dating some bad-ass, emo demon, they will faint. Soon, they will see how all of their fighting is screwing up their daughter. Then, they'll have to stop once and for all! Just then, I heard the doorbell ring. "I'll get it!" I ran to the door and opened it. "Eli!" I smiled pulling him into a hug.

"Hey Clare." He gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Oh, hello there." My mom said, reaching out to shake Eli's hand, "I'm Clare's mom."

"Hello." My dad said, running downstairs to greet him as well.

"Nice to meet you both." Eli said, "I'm Eli."

"Eli _Goldsworthy_." I added, "You know….._Jillian_ Goldsworthy's brother."

My mom raised an eyebrow at him, "Jillian….Goldsworthy? She's your sister?"

"_Twin _sister." I stated, not giving Eli a chance to speak.

"Yeah, we've heard….so many things about Jillian." My dad said, "Many…..many things."

"Oh yeah…" my mom added, "I heard she was very…." my mom struggled to think of something nice to say, "…pretty."

"Yup, she's adorable." Eli chuckled nervously.

"Just like you." I smiled, kissing him on the cheek. Eli gave me a suspicious look as we sat down to eat.

"Oh, and that's not the only interesting thing about his sister!" I continued, sitting down next to Eli.

My dad looked at Eli, interested, "Oh?"

"She is _so_ strong!" I said, "Even though she's so dainty looking, you better watch out!"

"Oh yeah," Eli smiled, "she's a pretty tough girl. She can even beat my dad when they're arm wrestling…..and my dad is a pretty big guy!" My parents laughed as Eli took a drink of coke.

"She even threw a desk." I blurted out. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Eli spit the coke out onto the table. It dripped all over his shirt.

My parents grew quiet, and then my dad looked questioningly at me, "You don't say…"

"Clare," Eli whispered, "you know, on the second thought, maybe we should talk about Jillian another-"

"Oh yeah! She got so mad at this girl today, Bianca, and I don't know what the fight was about, but whatever it was…..let's just say Jillian ended it fair and square!"

"Uh huh….." My mom said, quickly glancing from me to Eli. She then looked down at the stain on Eli's shirt, "Oh, Dear, we can get you some wet wipes for that."

My dad rolled his eyes as mom got up to get them, "Um…..so, Eli, how do you and Clare know each other?"

"We're in English class together." Eli smiled at me, "She's one of the smartest, even though she's younger."

"And I have a wonderful editor…" I complimented back, "…when we're not skipping class." Eli's face dropped and his eyes widened in shock.

"So…." my mom asked, coming back with the wet wipes, "what do your parents do, Eli?"

Eli opened his mouth to answer, but I beat him to it, "His dad is a shock jock, Bullfrog, on the solid rock 98. That station you hate." Eli cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Bet your home life must be colorful." My dad said.

"Less colorful, more black." I cut in again, "Eli even drives that hearse outside."

"Why don't we get started?" My mom said, quickly changing the topic, "Eli, as our guest, would you like to thank the lord for this beautiful meal for us?" My parents placed their hands together.

Eli looked around, uncomfortably, "Oh. Well I um…."

"Did I forget to mention," I interrupted, "Eli's an atheist."

"Clare." Eli whispered, harshly.

"Never mind, Eli." My dad sighed, "Hel?"

Helen put her head down in prayer, "Lord, thank you for bringing us all together this evening to share in this beautiful feast. Amen."

"Amen." My dad agreed. Eli glared at me as we all dug in to eat. We all ate quietly for about fifteen minutes. Finally, my dad broke the silence again, "So, Eli, you seem like a pretty easygoing person."

"I guess." Eli shrugged, cutting his food. My dad chuckled. Just then, Eli's knife slipped by accident, cutting his thumb. "Ouch." The cut on his thumb began to bleed

"Ooh!" My mom stood up from the table to check it out, "Are you ok, Dear?"

"I'm fine. I just cut myself." Eli nodded.

"You should put a band aid on that." My mom suggested, "They're upstairs in Clare's bathroom."

"Ok, thank you." Eli got up and went upstairs.

"Use the ouch-less!" she shouted up to him, "They're in the green container!"

My dad shook his head in disgust, "Oh my god."

Mom furrowed her eyebrows, "What?"

"You wanna have sex with him!" My dad sneered.

"EXCUSE ME!" My mom's mouth hung open in shock.

"'Use the ouch-less'." Dad mocked, "'We have wet wipes'."

"Ugh! You are _so_ immature!" Mom scoffed, "Why would I would wanna go and screw around with a 17-year-old boy?"

"I don't know!" Dad yelled back, "Why would you?"

"I DON'T! You are one twisted man, Randall, you know that?"

"I'm not the one doing dreamy high school boys!"

"STOP!" I scolded them, "Eli is upstairs and can hear us!" Both of my parents stopped.

"Well now Eli's been warned." Dad muttered under his breath. Mom glared at him.

"Ok I'm back." Eli announced, coming back downstairs. I wondered if he had heard my parents fighting downstairs, but from the unfazed look on his face I couldn't tell.

* * *

><p>"Well, thanks for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards." Eli said, stepping into his hearse.<p>

"Our pleasure." My mom smiled.

"So," Dad said, taking a good look at Morty, "a hearse, huh?" Eli nodded. "That's very….interesting. I heard those were hard to drive."

"Um, not really." Eli shook his head, "You just have to get the hang of it."

"Well, that wouldn't be the case for Jillian…..you know, Eli's sister." I smirked.

"Yes," Eli whispered, "we've already established that she's my sister."

"Well," I continued, "let's just say that Jillian isn't the greatest driver in the world. I can't even imagine what would happen if Eli let her behind the wheel of that thing. I mean seriously, she's a worse driver than an Asian woman on the freeway." All three of their mouths hung open.

"Oh boy," Eli said shaking his head, "get ready for the reviews."

**Dear Cheercaptaincutie BITCH,**

**Who the hell do you think you are? Despite you being racist and all, I'll have you know that ALL women have mastered the art of doing their make-up, while talking on the phone, WHILE driving! And the law is stupid for not letting us drive 20 mph over the speed limit! If everyone was driving that fast, then no one would get into an accident! So eat my shit, you racist, sexist bitch!**

**Eli POV**

"Unbelievable." I grumbled, driving home after dinner. I got to my house and pulled into the driveway. I wondered if Jillian was still awake, as I walked inside. I saw Jillian on the couch, watching South Park. Her head turned to me as I slammed the door shut.

"Eli!" she said, excitedly, "How did it go?"

"Awful." I sighed, "Her parents most likely hate my guts."

"Aw," Jillian patted the seat next to her, "what happened?"

"It was Clare!" I shook my head, "She was obnoxious and rude….and RACIST! She made me look like an asshole!"

Jillian raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yeah! She told her parents about how were atheists!"

Jillian's eyes widened, "No…way! She told her Jesus-dick-sucking parents that we were atheists?" I nodded. "Oh…that's low! That's just shitty!"

"I know! It was like she was trying to make me look bad on purpose!"

Jillian shook her head, disgustedly, "What's the hell is her problem?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, "And on top of all of that, the minute I left the room, her parents started fighting like animals!" I then muttered under my breath, "And now I think I know why Mrs. Edwards was being so nice to me."

"What else did she said to make you look bad?" Jillian asked, curiously.

"Oh…nothing. Just…stuff. Embarrassing stuff." I couldn't exactly tell Jillian that half of the bad things Clare said were about her.

Jillian patted my back, "It's ok, Eli. I'm sure Clare's parents don't hate you. Most likely, _Clare_ looked bad because she was acting like a baby."

"But I don't get it? Why would Clare be trying to make me look bad on purpose? I care a lot about her and I just wanted her parents to like me and support the fact that were dating." I huffed, "I'm never gonna be able to show my face in her house again."

"I can't imagine why Clare would want her parents to not like you. But you're a good person, and no matter what Clare's parents think, you're _always_ gonna be a good person."

"Thank you, Jill." I smirked, throwing my arm around her shoulders, "I just wish I knew what was up with Clare."

Jillian shrugged, "Maybe she's retarded."

I started laughing really hard. Jillian always had a way of making me feel better.

**Jillian's POV**

It was 3 am and I was still up, watching South Park. Everyone else was asleep, including Eli. Just as I began to doze off in front of the TV, I heard a light knocking on the door. I didn't move or get up, at first. Then I heard it again. Now, I wasn't too smart, but I knew that the only people that came to your house in the middle of the night were creepy pedo bears. I slowly stood up and walked over to the closet. The person knocked on the door again. I opened the closet door and pulled out a baseball bat. I held it over my head as I slowly approached the door. The knocking got louder. In one swift motion, I swung open the door and waved the bat over my head, "Get out of my house!" I warned.

"Ahhhh!" yelled the person at the door. It took me a moment to realize that it was Clare.

I slowly lowered the bat, "Clare?"

"Uh huh….." Clare answered shakily.

I dropped the bat at my feet, "What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night."

"Well….." Clare regained her composure and then answered, "I need to borrow some clothes."

**Eli's POV**

I stood in the school hallway the next day and looked down at my hideous uniform that I was wearing. A red 'Degrassi official' polo shirt with khaki pants. Since I was a junior, I had to wear a red shirt. Freshman had to wear yellow, sophomores had to wear purple, and seniors had to wear blue. Really, it wasn't the polo shirt that bothered me, since red was my favorite color next to black. What bothered me were these ugly khaki pants and the fact that I had to tuck my shirt in. Luckily, I was able to hide my uniform under a dark blue Degrassi sweat jacket, the only other thing we were allowed to wear. Jillian and I both agreed this morning that starting today, we would swallow our pride and finally follow the dress code, because I didn't think either one of us could afford another detention.

"You were so cute last night." said a voice behind me. Clare.

I didn't bother to turn around, "Really? I felt more like a Pariah."

"Oh, my parents just have to deal with the fact that I have a big, scary boyfriend!" she said in a sultry voice.

I scoffed and turned around to face her, "How could I even show my face in your house aga-…." I almost had a heart attack when I saw the girl who was standing next to me…..because it definitely was not Clare. She had straightened hair and dyed-black bangs. She had on an unbelievable amount of make-up and she wore a white tank top under a corset, with a way too short plaid skirt and ripped fishnet stockings. "Who are you?" I asked, disgustedly.

"What? I thought you'd like it." Clare put her arms around my neck and pulled me towards her to kiss me.

"Clare!" I pushed her away, "We'll get a detention." I then took a closer look at her outfit, "Is that Jillian's skirt?"

"They're all Jillian's clothes." Clare smiled. I recognized the skirt from when Jillian dressed up for Halloween as a sexy school girl. That was another one of those Halloweens where I had to beat up some punk that got a little too interested in her. I turned around and walked away.

"Come on!" Clare said, practically jumping me from behind, "Live dangerously!"

"I don't understand why you're doing all this!" I threw her arms off of me and began to walk away again.

Clare grabbed my arm and pulled me back, "Because I'm scared, Eli!"

I turned to look at her, "Of what? Sanity?"

"I'm scared," she explained, "that my parents are gonna sit me down, look me in the eye, and say, 'We're getting a divorce and there's nothing you can do about it'!"

"And how exactly does using me as a pawn in your parental showdown stop their divorce?"

"When they're both mad at me they have something in common!"

I shook my head, "Clare, they've already decided."

"Then maybe they'll see how it's screwing up their daughter!"

"Well, I'm not playing that game!" I told her, "You tried to hurt them, but I'm the one that got burned." Then I walked away, leaving her at the lockers. Clare had a lot of nerve, trying to use me like that. I went to go find Jillian because we both had English class_. _I was hoping that she got to school on time, because I left the house before her and never got to see her leave.

"Eli!" Jillian ran up behind me, "I was looking all over for you."

"Oh hey, Jillian." I said, turning around, "Come on. I'll walk you to-" I looked at Jillian's uniform. She _had_ to be kidding me. I was starting to wonder if it was dress like a slut day. Of course with Jillian, I wasn't surprised. She was wearing the red Degrassi polo, like she was supposed to, except it was all the way open, full cleavage visible, and she had probably gotten it in the tightest size possible. Her khaki skirt came down no further than just below her bottom and it sort of flared out in a cheerleader-like style. "Jillian! What the hell are you wearing?"

Jillian quirked an eyebrow at me, "Um…..my uniform?"

"Jillian! That's NOT what you we're supposed to wear!"

"What are you talking about?" She pointed to her uniform, "See? Red Degrassi polo and a khaki skirt."

"Holy. Crap." I said, performing a face palm, "No, Jillian! You're skirt had to be down to your knees!"

"Ok, Ms. Dawes." Jillian mocked.

I sighed, "I just don't want you to get in trouble." I looked down again at her top, "And button up your shirt!"

"I can't."

"Please Jillian…"

"No, I mean I really can't!" She said, gesturing towards her boobs, "It's too tight for my chest." I reached over and tried to see if I could button it, but I couldn't even pull it closed. "Ow-ow-ow! Stop, Eli! You're hurting me!." I let go and exhaled.

Suddenly, Owen came over with his friends and whistled as he passed us, "Wow, Jillian, you even look sexy wearing the school uniform!" I gritted my teeth and glared at them, as they walked away.

"Here," I slid off my jacket, "put this on." Jillian grumbled, taking my jacket and throwing it on. It came halfway down her thigh and the sleeves were a little long.

"It's way too big." She complained, "I look ridiculous."

"No you don't." I chuckled, "It matches your eyes." Jillian smiled when I said that. I noticed that she was wearing her 'J' choker. "Are you sure you are allowed to wear jewelry?" I asked.

"Look who's talking, Mr. pimp-rings." She teased, pointing to my hand.

I smirked, "We better get to English before we're late." As we walked down the hallway, a group of yellow-shirted, niner girls stared at Jillian.

"Oh no, it's the Hulk." one of them muttered. They started giggling.

"Just ignore them, Jill." I whispered, putting my arm around her.

"Jillian ANGRY!" another girl mocked, "Jillian SMASH! RAWR!" The girls burst out into laughter.

Jillian broke away from me, "Shut the hell up! You bitches have no clue what you're talking about!"

"Uh oh!" The girl mocked, "She's getting angry! We better watch out or furniture's gonna start flying!"

"THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING THAT'S GONNA BE FLYING, HOE!" Jillian shouted, while charging the girl. She grabbed her by her collar and slammed her up against the lockers. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HUH? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?"

"Jillian!" I ran over and pulled her off of the girl.

"I'm not done with this bitch!" Jillian yelled, kicking at her.

"Yes you are!" I put my arms around her and held her back. She continued to kick and squirm as the group of girls ran away, scared. "Jillian…Jillian please, you need to calm down."

"Eli, let go of me!"

I turned Jillian around and held her shoulders, "Jillian, take a deep breath." She obeyed. I pulled her into a hug, "It's gonna be ok, Jill, I promise."

_**Heyy! I hope you liked this chapter! More to come! (sorry if anyone was offended by the horrible, racist Clare. :P) PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! OMG PLEASE!**_


	6. This is how I deal

**Jillian's POV**

Eli held my hand as we walked to my anger management class. "Eli, you don't have to come with me." I told him.

"I just wanna make sure you're ok." He said, squeezing my hand, "I know that you're uncomfortable about this."

"Well, wouldn't you feel uncomfortable if you had to stay in the same room with a bunch of crazy people for a whole period?"

Eli chuckled, "Jillian, they're all here for the same reason you are."

"You mean they all had to beat up a few bitches who didn't know how to shut their freaking mouths?" I asked with gritted teeth, remembering what Bianca had said and also my fight with Fitz.

"Look," Eli sighed, "Bianca is a bitch, ok. And Fitz is probably the vilest human being that's ever walked this earth." Eli had a pissed off look on his face, as _he_ remembered everything that had happened with Fitz. He shook the thoughts out of his head, "The point is that violence isn't the answer."

"Look who's talking." I smirked

"Ok," Eli rolled his eyes, "in my opinion, violence _is_ necessary sometimes. But there are better ways to deal with things than by using your fists…" Eli smirked, "….or your stiletto heels."

I giggled, "Fine. I'll do this."

"That a girl!" Eli smiled, patting me on the back.

"Yeah, and besides, Riley took this class and he's not insane!"

Just then, I saw Riley skipping down the hallway with all of his football buddies. "DEGRASSI WON!" He shouted, "EAT MY FROZEN SHIT!" All of his buddies cheered, as he ripped off his shirt and started dancing around. "PANTHERS KICK ASS!" His boyfriend, Zane, smiled and slapped his ass. Eli and I just stood there and stared, not really sure of what else to do.

"Ok then." Eli commented.

"Well…..I'm gonna go now. If I'm not home by 5:00, call the police." I was serious.

"Will do." Eli smirked.

I smiled at him, before walking into the class room. Everyone was sitting in a circle; all the more intimidating. A scrawny, nerdy looking man with glasses looked up at me, "Hello there! You must be Jillian Goldsworthy." He spoke in a weird, overly-mellow voice.

"Hey." I grumbled. _And you must be on weed. _I thought.

"I'm Ned." He told me, "Welcome to our sanctuary."

"Thanks," I said uncomfortably, "but I'm not religious."

He laughed, "That's ok, Jillian. Have a seat and introduce yourself to everyone."

"Um….ok." I sat in one of the empty seats in the circle, "Hey. I'm Jillian."

"Hi Jillian!" Everyone said in unison.

"Jillian, why don't you tell everyone why you're here?" Ned suggested.

"Um….sure." I shrugged, "Well…I beat people up sometimes. Uh…..I threw a desk."

"Hey I know you!" a girl sitting across from me said, "You're that girl that threw a desk at Bianca DeSousa! Why the hell did you do that?"

"Hey!" said a guy sitting next to her, "Why wouldn't she? Bianca is a bitch!" Next thing I knew, the entire class was fighting.

"Now settle down." Ned said in a loud, but calm voice, "Come on, everybody relax." A hush fell over the class. "Good! Now, Jillian, it seems that you have problems when it comes to expressing your anger." I shrugged. "Well, don't worry. You're not alone. We all get angry sometimes, right?" Everyone nodded in agreement. "Right. Well, we know that we can't stop ourselves from getting angry. What we all need to do here is learn to express our anger in healthier ways." The teacher continued to drone on. Just then, my purse fell off of my chair and rolled under some guy's seat, where I couldn't reach it.

"Um, hey." I whispered, tapping on the guy sitting next to me, "Can you just reach under there and get my purse?"

"SHUT UP!" he yelled at me.

Ned raised an eyebrow to him, "What's the problem _now_, Jimmy?"

"I don't know!" He huffed, crossing his arms, "I'm angry!"

"Why are we angry, Jimmy?" Ned asked.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Jimmy stamped his foot on the ground.

I slapped my hand to my face and shook my head.

* * *

><p>I sat on the couch and watched TV, trying my best to drain out all of the crap that Ned filled my head with. I knew that there was nothing wrong with me and I certainly did not belong in that class with all of those insane people. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.<p>

"Jillian! Get the door!" Eli shouted from the kitchen.

I stood up from the couch and opened the door. Clare stood on the steps with a pile of clothes in her hands. "Oh hey Clare."

"Hey." She sighed, "I just wanted to return the clothes you lent me." She handed me the clothes.

"Oh, thanks." I said. Clare sniffled and wiped a tear out from under her eye. I furrowed my eyebrows at her, "Clare, what's wrong?"

"N-Nothing." Clare shook her head, "It's nothing. Well…actually it's something. I-I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Ok," I nodded, "are you sure you don't wanna talk?"

"M-Maybe later." She sobbed, "Can you just tell Eli that I'm sorry for causing him so much trouble? And the reason that I'm upset has nothing to do with him by the way."

"Sure." I smiled, "I, um, I hope you feel better."

"Thanks." She sniffled, "I have to get home now." Clare walked down our steps and hopped onto her bike. I closed the door, as Eli walked into the room.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Um, that was Clare."

"Clare?" Eli rolled his eyes, "What did she want?"

"Well, she just wanted to return my clothes…AND I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE FOR WHEN SHE WANTED THEM! Just saying." I told him.

"Don't worry, Jill, I'm not mad at you."

"Thanks." I smiled. "She wanted to apologize for everything that happened. Also, she was really upset over something."

Eli raised an eyebrow, "Was it something _I _did?"

"She didn't tell me, but she said that it had nothing to do with you."

Eli had a worried look on his face, "Maybe I should call her." Eli picked up his phone and began to dial Clare's number.

"I wouldn't call her." I stopped him, "She was very sad and said that she didn't want to talk about it."

"I hope she's ok." Eli said.

I nodded, "Me too."

Eli quickly changed the subject, "So, how's your anger management seminar?"

I rolled my eyes, "Annoying. They're all a bunch of freaks! And the teacher acts like he's on dope!"

"Ah, Ned." Eli chuckled, "What a quack."

"I'll say!" I walked into the kitchen and Eli followed me. "And I look around the room at all of these kids and they have these looks on their faces that make them look like they're about to pop!"

"That sounds scary."

"It is." I chuckled, opening the fridge for a beer.

"Jillian, no! It's a school night!" Eli scolded me.

"Ok, mom." I snorted, opening my beer.

Eli grabbed the beer away from me, "Are you insane?"

"I haven't had one drink in three weeks!" I said, "You were on my ass about it all vacation, remember?"

"Jillian, after seeing how wasted you got at Vegas Night, I'm scared that you're gonna go and get yourself killed!"

"Hey," I defended, "I usually don't get _that_ shitfaced off of just beer. The only reason I did that night was because I went through, like, 3 packs of it."

His face dropped and his eyes turned into his famous puppy dog eyes, "Jillian, you and I both know that you're a very strong person. But when you drink like that, you become defenseless…and the thought of you being completely helpless, even for a second, scares the shit out of me."

"Look," I said, taking the beer from him, "I know what I did that night was stupid. But I'm a big girl, Eli. I can take care of myself." I took a sip of the beer and went back into the den.

**Eli's POV**

I followed Jillian up the stairs to bed with my arms out in front of me, making sure that she didn't fall backwards. She turned around to look at me and rolled her eyes, "Eli, I'm not drunk. I only had one beer."

"I just wanna make sure you're ok." I took her hand and lead her to her room. We both plunked ourselves down on the bed. For the next 20 minutes or so we both lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Jillian finally broke the silence, "Hey Eli?"

"Hm?" I hummed, already falling asleep.

"Do you ever feel, like, you know….." Jillian struggled to find the word she was looking for, "suferimacated?"

I lifted my head up a bit, "Suferimacated?"

"Like you know," Jillian explained, "that feeling like you can't breathe."

I stared at her, really confused for a few seconds. Then I finally realized what she was trying to say and chuckled, "You mean _suffocated_?"

"Yeah that." Jillian sat up a little and propped herself up on her elbows behind her, "Do you ever feel like that?"

I looked at her confused, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, like suddenly you can't…..move. You're being controlled and things are changing….and they wanna change you. And there's nothing you can do about it." She sighed softly then looked up at me, "I don't know how to say it in words. What do you think?"

"I think…." I brushed some hair out of her face and looked her in the eyes, "that the one beer you drank hit you pretty hard and you need to go to sleep."

Jillian rolled her eyes and giggled, "Never mind." She let out a loud yawn and blinked her eyes a few times.

"Jillian. Bedtime. Now." I pulled back her covers and she crawled into bed. "Good girl."

"Eli." Jillian held out her empty beer can, "Can you throw this out?"

"Sure." I took the can from her, "Goodnight, Jill."

Jillian yawned again, "Goodnight, Eli." I walked out of her room and into the hallway to find a waste basket. I spotted the tiny pink garbage can by the stairs. I walked over to it, to throw out Jillian's beer can…..

_*Flashback*_

"_Happy Birthday, Julia!" Jillian said, hugging her._

"_I can't believe I'm finally 13." Julia beamed, "This is, like, the greatest day of my life!"_

"_Well, now that you're 13 like us, we can let you in on all of our teenage secrets." I joked. Jillian laughed, as she took a sip of her beer._

_I rolled my eyes, "Again, Jill?"_

"_What?" She shrugged, "Our parents aren't home yet."_

_I raised an eyebrow at her, "Well, if you keep sneaking Bullfrog's beers out of the fridge, he'll notice that they're missing."_

_Jillian giggled, "Oh please! Whenever dad gets juiced, he wouldn't notice a crocodile standing in the middle of the kitchen!"_

_I nodded, "True."_

"_Hey Julia," Jillian looked over at her, "have YOU ever tried beer?"_

_Julia's eyes widened, "No, of course not! Are you kidding me? I just turned 13."_

"_Which is exactly why you should have some to celebrate." Jillian held out her can to Julia._

"_Whoah, no way." Julia crossed her arms, "I don't drink."_

"_Come on!" Jillian urged, "You're the birthday girl. You got to at least try it."_

"_Peer pressure?" Julia said, jokingly._

"_GOOD peer pressure." Jillian corrected, "Haven't you always been curious about it?"_

_Julia stared at the can in Jillian's hand, and then looked up at her, "Fine, I'll TRY it." Julia took the beer and studied it. She shook it around a bit and sniffed the top of the can._

"_It won't bite you." Jillian giggled. Julia closed her eyes and brought the beer can to her lips. She tilted her head back and took a sip. The look on her face when she tasted the beer was priceless. She looked as if she was going to throw up, with her face all scrunched up._

"_Mm mmh!" she shook her head and motioned towards the garbage can behind me. I quickly grabbed it and gave it to her. She spit out the beer into the bin and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face. "What are you laughing at?" Julia glared at me._

"_It tastes like crap, doesn't it?" I laughed._

_She furrowed her eyebrows, "How would you know?"_

"_I tried it once," I explained, "and I almost threw up."_

_Julia crossed her arms, "Why didn't you tell me that BEFORE I tried the beer?"_

"_Oops?" I shrugged._

"_Oh, you're dead!" Julia got up and started chasing me around the living room. I jumped up on the couch, trying to get away from her, but she caught me and pushed me face down onto the couch._

"_Ok, you got me." I challenged her, "Now what do you think you're gonna do? Huh?" _

"_This." Julia got on top of me and began spanking me._

"_Ow!" I said, sarcastically, "Oh, that hurts! That hurts so badly! Ow!"_

"_Oh, you didn't think you were getting off THAT easily, right?" Julia smirked. She slapped my ass again, this time really hard. Then she did it over and over again._

"_Ouch!" I yelled, for real this time, "Stop that!"_

"_Nope!" Julia giggled._

"_Owwww!" I cried, "Jillian! A little help here!" All Jillian could do was roll on the floor and laugh. "Julia, stop!"_

"_Not until you apologize!"_

"_Never!" I stuck my tongue out at her. _

_Julia shrugged, "Fine." She continued to spank me as hard as she could._

"_Ow! Ow! Ok!" I said, "I'm sorry."_

"_You don't mean it." Julia said, "You have to mean it."_

"_I mean it!" I cried, as Julia spanked me, "I'm really sorry."_

"_Nope. Still doesn't cut it." Julia smirked._

_I flipped us over and grabbed Julia by the shoulders. I looked her right in the eyes, "I'm so very sorry…..Julia." I then smirked, playfully kissed her on the cheek. "Do you forgive me, now?"_

_Julia's eyes widened and she blushed, "Apology accepted."_

_*End of flashback*_

I looked at the beer can in my hand. That was one of my favorite memories of Julia and I never wanted to forget it, because the minute I forget that, I forget Julia. And if I ever forgot Julia…I would die. Or someone else would die…..I just know it. I needed something else to remind me. I decided not to throw away the beer can. I knew deep down that what I was doing wasn't healthy, but _one_ beer can wasn't gonna be the end of the freaking world. I walked into my room, opened the drawer full of Jillian's empty beer cans, and threw it in.

* * *

><p><strong>Jillian's POV<strong>

Eli and I sat on the bench in the hallway, before our first period class started. "I'm still wondering what Clare was so upset about last night." I said

"Me too." Eli looked down the hall and saw Clare talking to someone from that club, where they all take turns tossing Jesus' salad.

"There she is. Do you think she's ready to talk about it?"

Eli shrugged, "I guess there's only one way to find out." We stood up from the bench. Eli looked down at my skirt and groaned, "Jillian….." He grabbed hold of both sides of my skirt and attempted to pull it down.

"Eli!" I slapped his hands away.

"Jillian, please pull your skirt down." Eli begged, "It's too short."

"Ok, mom." I chortled. Clare finished talking to her friend, and then she walked towards us.

"Gotta love Jesus club." Eli said, as we walked up to her.

Clare shook her head, "Six months ago I would have said the same thing."

"Clare, why were you so upset last night?" I felt funny asking, because I didn't wanna be rude.

Clare sighed as we stopped at our lockers, "Last night, I had a little talk with my parents…" She looked up at the two of us, "My mom and dad are selling the house and separating."

"Aw!" I patted her on the shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Clare."

"Why do _I _have to suffer because _they _fell out of love?" Clare said, almost in tears again.

Eli thought for a second, "Maybe you won't have to….." Clare looked up at him curiously. "There's this kid that Jillian and I knew growing up." He continued, "His parents got divorced, moved to separate apartments, but he stayed in the house. His _parents _went back and forth."

"So….he had one bedroom and one set of stuff?"

Eli shrugged, "Do you think your parents will go for it?"

"They are feeling pretty guilty for putting me through all of this." She smirked, "Thanks! I can always count on you!"

"That's me!" Eli smiled, "Your rock."

Clare giggled and reached into her pocket, "I brought something you might like." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a gold watch.

"Vintage." Eli smirked, taking the watch, "Cool."

"It was my dad's." Clare explained, "He taught me how to tell time on it."

"I know how to tell time!" I said proudly, "But I only know how to tell time on the clocks with the big, blinky letters. The hour letters goes before the two dots and the minute letters go after the two dots." Clare and Eli just stood there and stared at me weirdly, except I couldn't understand why. Eli turned around and opened his locker, hundreds of things cascading out onto the floor. He looked nervously at Clare.

"Maybe Jesus club can take on your locker as a humanitarian disaster." She joked. He forced out a laugh, as he immediately bent down to pick everything up. "Ok bye."

I helped Eli pick up all his stuff as Clare left, "Eli, what is all of this shit?"

"Just...important stuff. _Very_ important stuff." I rolled my eyes at him. "Look, Jillian, everything in this locker serves an important purpose in my every day routine. I promise."

"Oh…..oh really?" I picked up an action figure that had fallen out of his locker and held it up to him, "And what 'purpose' does this half-naked action figure serve?"

"That's a collector's item." He said, taking it from me.

I raised an eyebrow to him, "Then what is it doing in your locker?"

"I…." He sighed, "I ran out of room in my bedroom."

"There's a shocker." I crammed the last bit of junk back into Eli's locker, and then stood up to get my books out of my own locker. "Eli, this whole holding on to trash thing is…" I sighed, "It's scaring me. I'm worried about you."

"Jillian, I have it under control. Just because I don't throw things away as often as other people, doesn't mean I'm crazy." I gave Eli the same worried, puppy dog eyes that he always gives me. Eli sighed and placed his hands on my shoulders, "You don't have to worry about me, Jill. I'm gonna be alright."


	7. Over the top

**Eli's POV**

After school, our parents took us to Little Miss Steaks for dinner. The four of us sat at the table, as Cece and Bullfrog told us stories about when Jillian and I were babies. "Hey, remember when we took the kids' to their first concert?" Bullfrog asked Cece.

Cece laughed and shook her head, "Oh my god….."

Bullfrog chuckled, "Eli, you cried so hard we nearly had to leave, you little brat!"

"Yeah, because most six month olds _love_ Metallica concerts." I said, sarcastically.

"But when the music started, your tantrums started to look like head banging." Bullfrog laughed.

"Then all the metal head started imitating you!" Cece added, "Then Jillian started copying _them_!" She laughed, looking over at Jillian, who had her feet propped up on the table and a Nintendo DSI in her hands. "And her hair was already so long, it ended up getting caught in some guy's necklace!" Jillian looked up from her games and rolled her eyes, giggling.

Bullfrog laughed, "Then later on, Jillian crawled away and got lost!"

"You _lost_ Jillian?" I gave Cece a surprised look, "At a _concert_?"

"Don't look at me!" Cece defended, "Bullfrog was the one who was watching her."

Bullfrog rolled his eyes, "Anyway, one of the lead singers ended up finding her!"

"I remember that! 'Excuse me, love, I believe you lost your baby.'" Cece said, imitating an Australian accent. Both of them started laughing. I smiled, imagining some band junkie coming up to my parents with a little, wide-eyed Jillian in his arms.

Suddenly, I heard a soft voice behind me, "Hey." I turned around and saw Clare standing behind me. She looked up at my parents, "I'm Clare, by the way."

Bullfrog looked at Cece, excitedly, "This is Clare!" He reached over the table and shook her hand, "Welcome! They call me the Bullfrog." He made what was supposed to be a frog sound, but to me it sounded more like a frog farting. Jillian and I looked at each other, embarrassed. "This is Cece." He introduced her.

"Oh we heard all about you!" Cece beamed, grabbing an empty chair from behind her and pulling it to the end of the table. She grabbed both of Clare's hands and sat her down, "Please..."

Clare smiled, "I hope you don't mind me interrupting your family dinner."

"No!" Cece and Bullfrog said in unison.

"We were just telling the story of how Eli and Jillian wrecked Lollapalooza." Cece added. I smirked at her, _Cute…..real cute._

"So," she continued, "what brings you to the steak house?"

She sighed, "Well, I just….I couldn't handle being around my parents." I looked at her, concerned. It must have been hard for her back at home, with her parents deciding who's gonna take what to whose apartment and everything else...more things for her parents to fight over.

"None of our business. If you need a place to crash, our house is your house anytime." Bullfrog offered.

"Wow, thank you!" Clare smiled, "It's nice to know that there's a guest room with my name on it."

"Yeah, no guest room…." Bullfrog chuckled.

Clare looked at him, taken aback, "Oh…so is there like an extra bed in Jillian's room or something?"

I lifted my head up, realizing what Bullfrog was getting at. "Dad….." I warned.

"We've been trying to get a girl into Eli's room for a while now." He continued, playfully nudging Cece.

"_Dad_….." I said a bit louder.

"He's even got a double bed in there." Cece added.

"Hey, mom?" I practically yelled, trying to get their attention. They both looked up at me. "Could you give me and Clare a moment alone?"

"Young love….." Cece whispered to Bullfrog, as the two of them took their plates and went over to sit at the bar. Jillian remained at the table with her feet up, her mind absorbed into her game. "Jillian…?" Jillian didn't move. "J-Jill?" Nothing. "Jill-i-an!" I said loudly. Finally, Jillian slowly lifted her head up and looked all around her until her eyes finally met mine. She looked behind her then back at me, "Oh….were you talking to me?"

I rolled my eyes, "Jillian, I need to talk to Clare privately."

"Do you guys need me to book you a room?" She smirked.

"_Go_!" I groaned.

"Whateves." Jillian stood up and walked over to the bar still looking down at her Nintendo, almost bumping into about three waiters.

_Man, she's addicted to that thing._ I shook my head and turned to Clare, "Sorry about Cece and Bullfrog."

"Well they sure are interesting…." Clare commented, "Were your parents _serious_ about me staying in your room?"

"Well…..um…." I said, nervously, "They just assume since we're dating…."

"That we have sex?" Clare furrowed her eyebrows, "Why would they think that?"

"It's just that, well, um…." I struggled to explain this in the least awkward way possible, "Julia…."

"Your _old_ girlfriend." Clare threw in, as if I needed to be reminded.

"Yeah…." I twiddled my thumbs, "She….uh…..s-she had a lot of problems with her step mom….so she stayed with us." I concluded with a nervous smile, hoping that Clare would accept the information.

Clare pouted and stared down at the floor, "Like….with you, with you?" She confirmed.

"You bet!" Jillian said, coming out of nowhere, "One night, they were so loud, I couldn't sleep! I actually had to leave the house and go stay at John's…."

"Jillian!" I cut her off, "Scoot!" She rolled her eyes and walked back to the bar.

I turned back to Clare, who looked at me with disappointment. "Look, I didn't even know you existed yet." I defended.

"You know I'm not having sex until I get married." Clare reminded me.

"Yeah, I got the memo." I said sarcastically.

Clare looked worriedly at me, "Does it bother you?"

"Yeah, it's not my favorite thing….but it's what's gotta be." I was gonna be honest with Clare. I _did_ want her that way. She was really gorgeous to me and it would be a lie if I said that thoughts or fantasies of us having sex never crossed my mind.

Clare shook her head, "We're really different, aren't we…"

"Opposites attract." I argued.

"And get married and have kids and get divorced!"

"Clare, we're not your parents!" I told her.

Clare stared at me for a brief moment, before grabbing her bag and heading out, "Call you later." She mumbled. I watched her as she went past my parents sitting at the bar and ran out the door.

I sighed and walked over to my parents, "I think I'm gonna go home now. Where's Jillian?"

"She's sitting somewhere over there." Cece said, waving her hand to the other side of the bar. I went over and found Jillian sitting at the bar in the far corner. I saw the young bartender flirting with her.

"Yeah, they're real." Jillian smirked, placing her hands on her boobs.

The guy smiled, "Well, they're really nice…and also, you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." Jillian giggled and blushed.

"Yeah, _excuse_ me." I interrupted, taking Jillian by the arm. I gave the bartender a dirty look.

"Well, Jillian," he said, avoiding eye contact with me, "you, um, you have my number….call anytime." He smiled at her then walked away.

I sighed, "Come on, Jillian, let's go." Jillian grabbed her drink off the bar table, before following me out. She took another sip of it as we walked out the back door. "Well that was a complete disaster." I pouted.

"Yup…" Jillian stumbled a little as we walked towards the hearse.

I caught her arm, "Easy there, Jill." Suddenly, I noticed that the glass in her hand was a martini glass. I looked questioningly at the clear liquid inside the glass, "Is that _vodka_?"

"It's a _dry martini_." She corrected me, taking another sip.

"Jillian! Why are you still drinking?" I raised an eyebrow, "First of all, how did you even get served without being carded?"

Jillian rolled her eyes, "Oh Eli…when you're a cute girl like me, you can get whatever you want."

_True._

She took another sip. "Jillian! Put that away!"

"Fine." She said, gulping the rest of her drink back.

I crossed my arms, "That's _not_ what I meant."

"Oh, calm down." She threw the empty glass behind her. I opened the passenger door of Morty for Jillian and she slumped inside. The entire ride home, I thought about what happened with Clare.

"Hey, Jillian?" I said, keeping my eyes on the road.

She turned to me, "Yeah?"

"Do you think Clare is upset, you know, that I'm….not a virgin?"

She shrugged, "Why would Clare be upset about that?"

"I just….." I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, "I just think that Clare might feel disappointed…..like I'm not all hers because I've had sex with someone else before. What if she thinks that I love Julia more than her, just because Julia and I had sex and we don't?" I looked over at Jillian who looked back at me with heavy-hearted eyes. Talking about Julia never really sat well with Jillian….or me for that matter. I sighed, "Jillian….I loved Julia more than anything. She was the closest thing to me and I know you felt the same way."

"Close? She was my best friend, Eli." She looked down and shuffled her feet, "I knew her my entire life….since kindergarten. She was, like, my only true friend. She was the only girl I've ever known who didn't just wanna be my friend because I was popular with the boys, or hate me for the same reason. She liked me for me."

"I know…..." I said, fighting back tears, "I know. When Julia died, I thought that I would never be able to love again…..and for a while, that was true. Then I met Clare, and at first I was afraid…that I would hurt her like I hurt Julia. I felt like I needed to protect her by not being with her."

"But you love Clare." Jillian pointed out.

"Yeah," I agreed, "So that's when I realized that it was time to move on."

Jillian placed her hand on my shoulder, "And that's exactly what Julia would want to happen." Jillian sniffled, also trying to fight back tears, "I miss her so much, Eli."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around Jillian, "I miss her too, Jill." She hugged me back and buried her head into my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jillian." I said, "This whole thing is just so…..awkward."

She slowly lifted her head up, "You think this is awkward for _you_? I'm now reliving the memories of my brother screwing my best friend." She shuttered.

I laughed, "What can I say? Julia was so good….."

"Lalalalala!" Jillian yelled. I smirked and continued to hug her. Suddenly, her eyes widened, "Eli! Wheel!"

"Huh?" I looked up, realizing that Morty was swerving off the road, "Oh crap!" I quickly grabbed the wheel and steered back on the road. We both sighed in relief.

"Hey, aren't _I _usually the bad driver?" She joked.

"Ok…." I nodded, "New rule: No hugging and driving."

* * *

><p>I lie down on my bed, listening to Dead Hand. Suddenly, I heard the doorbell ring. "Jillian, answer that." I shouted downstairs. The doorbell rang again, "Jillian?" I heaved myself off the bed and ran downstairs. The doorbell rang again. I saw Jillian sitting on the couch, watching South Park. "Jillian, why didn't you answer that?"<p>

"Hello!" Jillian pointed to the TV. I rolled my eyes and opened the door. To my surprise, it was Clare.

"Clare?" I stepped outside, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanna spend the night with you." She blurted out. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at her, as she stared back at me with wide, blue eyes.

I stepped off the stoop and into the driveway where Clare put her bike. I lifted it up, "I'll put your bike in the hearse."

"Why?" Clare demanded.

"I'll drive you home." I said, ignoring her urging.

"But I don't wanna go home." She stopped me, "I wanna be with you."

"You don't have to do this." I told her.

"I want to." She looked questioningly at me, "Don't you?"

"You have beliefs. This isn't who you are."

"I don't know who I am!" She cried, "I don't know anything. But I know that I wanna be with you." She reached out to grab my hands, but I pulled away. Clare looked almost driven to tears, "What is this?"

"Nothing. I'll drive you home."

"No, no! You know what? I get it, Eli. Don't bother!" With that, she grabbed her bike and stormed away.

**Clare's POV**

I cried as I rode my bike home. I knew it. How could I think that Eli would wanna sleep with me? He's just like any other guy. He probably just wants some slut monkey with a perfect body. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he did his own sister first! Maybe even his mom! I saw his mom, all big and blonde and punked up! I bet they all have three ways! Every freaking night-! _Easy Clare, _I told myself, _You know how when you let your mind race, it gets a bit profane._

**Eli's POV**

I walked inside and slammed the door shut behind me. Jillian sat up on the couch, "What was that all about?"

I sighed, "Clare hates me."

Jillian walked over to me, "What do you mean?"

"She's mad at me because I won't sleep with her." I explained

Jillian gave me a confused look, "Ok…..help me out here. Didn't Clare just remind you that she wasn't having sex until she was married?"

"Yeah, but now she wants to stay over tonight." I shook my head, "This is all my fault. I should have never told her that story about Julia. She probably thinks I rejected her."

"Well, why didn't you want to sleep with her?"

I gave her a stupid look, "Well, where do you think we would do it?"

"You know! In your room….." Jillian came to realization, "Ohhhhh….right. I see the problem."

"Do you?" I said, sarcastically.

Jillian's face lit up, "Wait, you guys could have just done it in the hearse!"

I laughed, "Oh Jillian, I really don't think that Clare's the type of person that would want to lose her virginity in the back of someone's car." Jillian giggled. "Besides, on top of all of this hoarding stuff, I know that Clare just wants to have sex with me because of that stuff that's going on with her parents, and I'm not gonna let her give up something important over that." Jillian nodded in agreement. I sighed, "Well….I better go upstairs and start my homework."

"Yeah," She agreed, "I have to go upstairs and do anything _but_ my homework." I smirked as we walked upstairs. I followed Jillian into her room. She pulled out a bottle from under her bed. I looked at her curiously, as she opened up the bottle and began drinking it. I went up to her and took a closer look at the bottle, and my eyes widened when I saw the label on the bottle. "Jillian! Is that whiskey?"

"Yeah, so?" She said, taking another sip. I grabbed the bottle away from her. "Hey!"

"Jillian, what is it with you and all this drinking lately?" I probed, "I don't get it."

"Eli, I drink all the time!" Jillian argued, trying to grab the bottle out of my hands "You know that."

"Yeah, but not like _this_! And I know that you only break out the heavy whiskey when something is wrong."

Jillian rolled her eyes, "Eli, you've seen me drink like this! There's nothing wrong, I'm fine!"

"But Jillian, I'm worried. The last time I remember you drinking this much was…." It pained me to remember this, "was when you had that eating disorder."

"Eli, I'm not gonna go anomerexic again! I've had it under control for, like, three years now!"

I sighed, "You weren't just 'anomerexic', Jill, you were Bulimic."

Jillian gave me a confused look, "Bully-mic? So I was an anomerexic AND I was mean?"

"No!" I groaned, "Bulimic means that you threw up to get skinny."

"I felt like I had no choice." She explained, "I would starve myself and everyone would freak out because I was too thin, but then when I looked in the mirror, I looked just as fat as I was day one…maybe even _fatter_."

"Oh Jillian," I put my arm around her, "you were never fat. You were always beautiful."

Jillian smiled and squeezed her arm around me, "Thanks." Then her face got serious, "Now give me back my booze."

I chuckled, "I don't think so."

She let go of me, "Don't make me have to take it from you."

"Oh yeah," I scoffed, "what are you going to do?" Jillian looked down at my jeans, then in one swift motion, she reached over and yanked down my pants, and then grabbed the bottle out of my hands and walked away. I stood there dumbly, empty handed and with my pants down around my ankles.

**Jillian's POV**

The next morning, I studied myself in my locker mirror. My eyes were tired and red, and my skin was as pale as could be, except not in its usual vibrant way. It was completely colorless and dull. No amount of eye makeup could hide the redness in my eyes, so I just grabbed a pair of sunglasses out of my locker and put them on. I closed my locker and looked down the hallway at Eli and Clare sitting on the bench. Suddenly, Eli stood up, and walked away with an annoyed look on his face.

"What's wrong with you!" Clare yelled at him, "Let it go!"

Eli walked past me and I grabbed my tote bag and followed him, "What's she bitching about now?" Eli gave me a threatening look. "Ok, you have to admit, she's a _bit _of a whiner."

"She's mad because she thinks I rejected her last night." He grumbled.

"Well, in her defense, you never actually explained why you didn't wanna sleep with her." I pointed out.

"If I told her the real reason why we couldn't sleep together…" He shook his head, "she wouldn't even wanna be anywhere near me anymore."

"Eli, you need to tell her the truth eventually. She understood about Julia."

Eli's face dropped, "I probably should never have even told her about that."

"Eli-" I began.

He interrupted, "Let's just…not talk about it anymore. Ok?" He looked curiously at me, "Are you ok?"

"What?" I realized he noticed my little dark sunglasses and hoodie get up, "Oh, yeah…." Eli stopped walking and lifted up my sunglasses.0 He looked into my eyes and sighed, "Jillian, you look like you go hit by a truck."

"Gee, thanks." I scoffed.

Eli crossed his arms, "Jillian, are you going to tell me why you're drinking so much or not?"

"I told you, there's nothing wrong with me!" I put my sunglasses back on.

"You should go see the nurse." He suggested, "Just so you can relax."

I looked at him, stupidly, "Right….. 'Oh hi, nurse! Last night, I drank myself silly and blacked out. Can I take a nap here?'"

"At least take a drink of water." Eli demanded, handing me his water bottle. I obeyed and chugged down almost all of it, not realizing how thirsty I actually was. "Good girl. Now let's get to class, before we're late."

* * *

><p>I sat at a table by myself at The Dot. I didn't feel like eating the school's lunch today, or really anything for that matter. I finished my fifth cup of coffee and went up to the counter to order another one. I spotted Riley sitting on the bar stool next to me.<p>

"Hey, Jillian." He smiled

"Oh hey, Riley." I sat down next to him, "So I take it you're not a fan of 'mystery meatloaf' either."

Riley laughed, "I just needed a break. You would think that were more than half-way through our senior year. Why do they need to give us so much work? Haven't we proved ourselves already?"

"I guess I'm in for it next year." I nodded.

"Ah, hang in there. Before you know it, you'll be off to University." Riley chuckled, So how have things been going with you?"

I shrugged, "I don't know….complicated."

"Yeah, I heard about that whole Vegas Night thing." Riley shook his head, "That Fitz is vicious. His friends tried making asses out of Zane and me."

"That's just wrong." I agreed, "There's nothing wrong with being gay-sexual. Besides, it's nice to finally have a guy friend. You're the only guy in school who hasn't tried to hit on me yet."

Riley laughed, "You can count on me."

"Well," I smiled slyly, "unless you wanna send me any pics…."

"In your dreams." Riley laughed harder, "Come on, I give you a ride back to school."

* * *

><p>"So," Riley said, as we walked down the hall together, "you're taking the anger management seminar. How's that working out for you?"<p>

I rolled my eyes, "First of all, Ned is a total quack! I swear, he's on something. Plus, I'm surrounded by a bunch of freaks! No offense, Riley, you're cool."

"None taken." He smirked, "And you're right. Some of those people have serious issues."

"Tell me about it!" Riley and I turned the corner, "Some of them need strait jackets and-" Suddenly, I saw Eli in the middle of the hallway.

"Go away! Just go away!" He shouted at Clare, who backed away slowly, as he desperately dug through a garbage can. Papers were flying everywhere as Eli had his little episode. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on.

"Oh no..." I groaned, palming my face.

"What?" Riley looked at me curiously, after watching the scene.

"Eli's trippin' again." I sighed, "I'll talk to you later, Riles, I gotta..." I gestured towards Eli.

"By all means..." Riley said, looking questioningly at Eli. I ran down the hallway over to Eli.

"Eli!" I shouted, as he continued to throw things out of the garbage can, "ELI! Please, relax!" I grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him.

"Jillian, go away!" Eli tried to shrug me off of him, "Now! Go!"

"No, Eli! You need help!"

"Just please go away!"

"No!" I refused, "Not until you stop this!"

"Jillian!" Eli growled, continuing his freaking out. I grabbed him by his shoulders and spun him around, then I smacked him hard across the face. Eli stopped suddenly, dropping all of the papers that were in his hands. I crossed my arms and stared at him as his whole body slowly relaxed.

"Thanks, Jill." he mumbled.

"Eli, tell me what's wrong." I demanded.

"It's Clare." He said through his teeth, "She cleaned out my locker."

"Oh no!" I said, sarcastically, "What a horrible thing to do!"

"I'm serious, Jill!" He yelled, "She went into my room."

"Your room?" I asked, "But….why? How?"

"She was trying to look for that busted watch that she gave me." He slammed his fists on the wall, "Why would she do that?"

"Well, I have to admit, breaking into your room was a bit stalkerish. But she was only trying to help."

"Help?" Eli huffed, "She's not gonna want to help me now! She thinks I'm insane!"

"No she doesn't." I comforted him, "Look, I gotta get to my anger management thing. Just try to talk this out with Clare. Believe me Eli, she'll understand."

"Thanks," Eli sighed, "but I don't think Clare and I are gonna work out."

* * *

><p>Ned stood in the middle of the circle, "Anger is a very common, very brief reaction. But what we don't know is that while we're sending this anger…..where is the anger coming from? Today we're gonna talk about what makes us angry." Ned turned around and flashed a big, creepy smile to a tall blonde boy. "Let's start with you, Stephen. What is the one thing that usually triggers your anger?"<p>

Stephen crossed his arms and huffed, "My brother, Jack."

"Uh huh…" Ned nodded, "why does your brother Jack make you so mad?"

"Because he's a freaking fag!"

"I see…." Ned gave him a questioning look, "maybe you can be a bit more specific?"

"He always makes videos of me freaking out and puts them on YouTube!" Stephen stomped his foot, "Freaking fag! He's freaking betraying me!"

"Ok…ok." Ned said in a calming voice, "Um, well get back to you, Stephen." He then looked at me with the same creepy smile.

_Shit._

"Miss Jillian. Why don't youtell us what makes _you_ angry?"

"Yeah, princess," said a random guy across the room, "what's got _your_ lacey little panties in a wad?"

Ignoring him, I scanned the room. Everyone was staring at me, waiting for me to say something. "What makes me angry?" I sighed, "Stuck up bitches, you know….people who think they're so tough and try to mess with me." I thought some more, "These new stupid rules at school." I pouted, as I looked down at my khaki skirt and red polo.

"Alright." Ned folded his hands, "Well first of all, Jillian, the new rules were put in place for everyone's safety."

"Safety?" I scoffed, "How does dressing like tools and having rules like 'No PDA' have anything to do with our 'safety'?"

"Well, Jillian…." Ned began to explain, "After seeing what happened at Vegas Night, Mr. Simpson and the rest of the school faculty feel that…"

"That's just it!" I interrupted, "Mr. Simpson _didn't_ see what happened! The only four people involved were me, my brother, Clare…and Fitz! I didn't see anyone else standing there when Fitz came at me with the knife! I didn't see Mr. Simpson there when Eli pushed me out of the way and jumped in front of the knife for me! None of you idiots know what happened!" I angrily stood up, "You weren't there! You weren't the one whose life was being risked!" With that, I stormed out of the room, purposely tipping over one of the chairs on the way out.

"Jillian!" Ned called after me, but I was already so far down the hallway I only heard it faintly. Eli spotted me running down the hallway.

"Jillian?" He walked after me, "Hey, Jillian!" I kept walking. "Jillian! Wait up!" Eli ran after me and eventually caught up with me. He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face him, "Jillian, what's wrong?"

Tears formed in my eyes, "Anger management was a stupid idea. There's nothing wrong with me!"

Eli wiped a tear off my cheek, "Jillian, I know there's nothing wrong with you. You just need help, that's all."

"No one is trying to help me!" I sobbed, "Everyone is just trying to get into my head! They're trying to change me! If I wanna dress sleazy and beat people up when they deserve it, that's my business!" I opened my locker and pulled my bag out.

"Jillian! Where are you going?" Eli grabbed my arm, as I headed out the door.

"Anywhere but here!" I huffed, shaking his hand off of me.

* * *

><p>I drove aimlessly on the road, taking sips from a whiskey bottle that I had stashed in the back of my car for "emergencies". Even I knew that drinking and driving was un-legal, but I was so depressed right now I didn't care what happened. I drove around for what seemed like an hour. I didn't really know where I wanted to go. I just needed to clear my head. Eventually, I found myself approaching the one place that I needed to be. I haphazardly parked my car and stepped out with the bottle of whiskey in my hand. I made my way through the woods and up to the old abandoned church. This was where Eli and I hung out with Julia. It was our special place. We liked it because it was the one place where we knew that no one would come and bother us. I guess that's why we picked an <em>abandoned <em>church. The church walls had been eroded and crumbled, and the roof was completely gone. I sauntered into the church, taking another sip of whiskey. I stooped down next to a stack of pictures of Eli Julia and me, some of which had been framed. Julia loved to take pictures and told me once that when she grew up, she wanted to be a photogramafer. I picked up the pictures and flipped through them. I saw a picture of Eli and me standing under a tree, which Julia had taken of us. There were also a few that Eli took of me and Julia. There was one of Julia and me lying side by side on the grass. We were both wide-eyed and smiling up at the camera. My eyes were their usual dark blue, and Julia's eyes glimmered different shades of light brown and green. Then there pictures I took that were supposed to be of Eli and Julia together, except I think I was holding the camera the wrong way or something because a lot of them were pictures of my face. Julia gave me a few pointers and after getting the hang of it, I finally took a picture of Eli and Julia standing side by side, looking intensely at the camera. Julia stood with her arms crossed and Eli was beside her, both dressed in black and neither one smiling. This was my favorite picture. It was the same one that Eli had in his room, except it was smaller and he had cropped himself out so it was just Julia. I picked up the picture frame and brushed the dirt off of it.

"Julia….I wish you were here right now. I'm scared." I sighed, "I'm scared for Eli. He's acting all weird and collecting garbage and stuff like that. And I'm so confused! Lately, I've been feeling, like, trapped. Like everyone wants to get inside my head and change me. What if there's something wrong with me too?" I felt myself starting to tear up all over again, "Oh Julia, you were always so much more smarticle than me. You'd know what to do. It sucks not having you here, Julia. Every day I miss you, and I don't think I'll ever find a friend as good as you." I held the picture to my chest and started to cry.


	8. Big girls don't cry

**Eli POV**

I anxiously paced back and forth in the living room, beside myself with worry. Jillian just took off and disappeared from school and I haven't seen her ever since. She wasn't even answering her cell phone. I picked up my phone and tried dialing her once more. "Come on, Jill, please pick up. _Please _pick up!"

_Heyy!_

"Jillian! I was so worried! Where are y-"

_Um…..do I start recording my voicemail? Ok then…um hi people! This is Jillian. I can't get to the phone right now, so just leave a message after the big beepy sound. Ok bye…um….I don't know how to stop recording…..uh, if anyone is listening to this, can you tell me how to stop recording? Hello?_

"Damnit!" I yelled, snapping my phone shut, "Where the hell is she?" Right on cue, familiar silver convertible swerved its way into the driveway and crashed into a stack of garbage cans. I watched out the window as Jillian stumbled out of the car with a bottle in her hand and made her way to the front door.

"Jillian!" I ran to her as she sauntered through the door, "There you are!" Jillian gulped down what was left in the bottle that she held. I grabbed her head and tilted her face up to look at me. I studied her eyes and then looked down at the empty bottle of whiskey in her hand, "Have you been drinking? AGAIN?"

"Whatzitooya?" She asked incomprehensibly. She shook herself out of my grip and began to walk away.

I ran up to her and got in front of her, "Hi, me again." Jillian rolled her eyes. "Jillian! Where were you?"

"Uh…." Jillian slurred, "I was…..I was….ya know….." She waved her hand in the air, as if she could point out a specific direction that she was in.

I crossed my arms, "No, Jillian! I don't know what that means! Use your words!"

"Ugh! I was at the church, mmm-kay?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, "You mean the old abandoned church?"

She looked at me stupidly, "No, the good church of the holy hoppers. We all do the worm out on the front lawn." I looked at her confused. She rolled her eyes, "Ugh, yes! I was at the old abandoned church!"

"What were you doing there?"

Jillian scoffed, "Justleavemealone." She was so drunk, that all of her words ran together.

"Where are you going?" I asked her, as she went into the dining room.

"I-I'm going-ta bed!" She dropped the bottle at her feet, and then climbed up onto the dining room table. She took the table cloth and wrapped it around herself, like a blanket.

"Jillian!" I ran into the dining room after her, "What are you doing?"

"Get outta my room!" She bellowed at me, shooing me away with her hand.

"You're in the dining room!" I yelled at her, "What's wrong with you?"

Jillian groaned, "How am I supposed to sleep with all your racket?"

"Jillian!" I rolled my eyes, "You can't sleep on the dining room table." Jillian didn't respond. "Jillian?" I went over to her and gave her a gentle shake, "J-Jill?" Too late. Jillian was already sound asleep. I sighed and placed my hand on my forehead. "Oh Jillian…" I scooped her up off the table and carried her upstairs. I brought her into her room and plopped her down on her bed, pulling the covers over her. I was getting really worried about her. I wondered why she had been acting like this lately, between the drinking and the acting out all the time. I was scared. I needed to figure out what was wrong before she did something really dangerous, like go into a bulimic relapse. When I first found out that Jillian was bulimic and that she couldn't control it, I was afraid that she was going to die, and there was nothing that I could do about it. Sometimes, I even blame myself for not recognizing the early signs. But then again, I barely remember how it started:

_*Flashback*_

"_Mom," Jillian groaned from the back of Cece's car, "do we HAVE to go clothing shopping now?"_

"_School starts in three days," Cece explained, "and you and Eli need new clothes. Especially you, Jill."_

_Jillian crossed her arms, "Why me?"_

"_Well, lately I've been noticing that you've been…uh…falling out of your shirts." Cece subtly gestured towards her chest, "You need a little more support, baby."_

"_Oooh, Jillian needs some boobie covers!" I teased._

"_Shut up, Eli!" Jillian said, embarrassed, tugging her blue t-shirt up. Her shirt had the cookie monster's face on it. It was funny because on Jillian, the eyes were stretched out and bulging._

_I laughed, "You can fix your shirt all you want, but cookie monster's head still looks like it's ready to pop!"_

_Cece rolled her eyes, "Ok, Eli, stop teasing your sister."_

_I whispered, "This episode of Sesame Street was brought to you today by the number 32 and the letters double D." I began laughing, hysterically._

"_Mom!" Jillian whined._

"_Eli…" Cece warned. We got out of the car and walked inside the mall. We went to the girls' department and Cece started looking around for clothing._

"_Hello, Ma'am." One of the young saleswomen smiled friendlily, "Are you finding everything ok? Do you need any help?"_

"_Oh hi," Cece smiled back at her, "I need some new clothes for my daughter. All of her old stuff doesn't fit anymore."_

"_Oh of course." The lady looked over at Jillian, "How old is she?"_

"_Thirteen."_

"_Wow," The saleswoman looked fascinated at Jillian. "Well, I think she might be ready for adult sizes."_

_Jillian looked slightly shocked and confused, "R-Really?"_

"_Come with me." The saleslady motioned us to follow her. She walked over to the clothing rack for adult sizes XS and picked up a few shirts, "Of course, Jillian would be a XXS or a XS size since she's so slim, but she needs shirts that have enough room in the chest area." She handed the shirts to Jillian, "Here, honey, try these on in the dressing room." I followed Jillian to the dressing rooms. She went into one of the booths and I waited outside._

"_You know Eli," she said from behind the curtain, "I think the lady was wrong about me being an adult size. I think I'm still teeny enough for a girls' large…..right?"_

"_Well, Jillian," I shrugged, "mom says that all your shirts are too tight and you're falling out of them."_

"_But, Eli, there are a lot of girls my age who still wear girls' sizes…." Her tone of voice became concerned, "Am I….am I getting…FAT?"_

"_What?" I said, surprised, "No. Of course not!"_

_Jillian came out of the dressing room, wearing one of the new shirts, "Then how come I need adult sizes now?"_

"_You heard the lady. She even said you needed the smallest size because you were so thin." I explained, "And the reason you need adult sizes now is because you don't have the body of a little girl anymore. For Pete's sake, Jill, you've got boobs bigger than most adult women!"_

_Jillian smiled, "Well, I don't know who this Pete is and what he has to do with my boobs, but I hope you're right."_

"_Are you done, dear?" The lady called in, "Can I see?"_

"_Yup." Jillian nodded._

_The lady walked in and studied Jillian in the shirt, "Very nice! It's so much better. You look beautiful!"_

"_Thanks." Jillian grinned._

"_Ok, I'll go get the other shirts in that size." The lady said, leaving the room._

"_See?" I told Jillian, "You've got nothing to worry about."_

"_Well…..if you say so." Jillian said, studying herself carefully in the mirror._

_*End of flashback*_

I shook the thought out of my head, for fear of the memories that followed. I stood up and grabbed my keys to Morty. There was one more thing that I had to do.

* * *

><p>Clare stood in her doorway, surprised to see me, "What are you doing here?" I walked inside and sat down on her couch. She closed the door then came over and sat down next to me.<p>

I took a deep breath, "It started after Julia died…t-the not throwing stuff out. Every time I try to throw out something…..I feel like I'm gonna die!" My hands began to shake, "O-Or someone else is going to….someone I love."

"Have…..you ever heard of _hoarding_?" Clare asked, reluctantly.

"Yeah, mom said she would take me to talk to someone…a therapist or something." I took another deep breath, "I wanna change."

"That's good, Eli." Clare smiled at me, "That's really, really good. If you need anything, just ask me, ok?"

"Here's what I want, Clare. I want you not to give up on me." I told her, "You're the only thing that makes me feel like I could ever get better."

Clare noticed that my hands were still shaking, and she reached out and held them in hers, "Well then I guess you're stuck with me….just like you said I was stuck with you." With that, she slung her arms around me and hugged me, pulling herself into my lap. I hugged her back tightly, never wanting to let go.

* * *

><p>I emptied my books into my newly clean locker, except of course for the bottom of it, where I desperately shoved all of my trash that Clare tried to throw out. Having told Clare about my issue yesterday, I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. She was even going to help me clean out my room today during lunch period. I closed my locker door and spotted Jillian walking towards me. She walked slowly, leaning over into the lockers. She wore dark sunglasses, with the hood of her navy blue Degrassi hoodie up over her head.<p>

"Jillian…." I removed her sunglasses, revealing a pair of puffy red eyes that were even worse than yesterday. "What _happened_ last night?"

"That's what I would like to know." She mumbled.

"You can't possibly get through the day like this."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She argued, "I'm fine."

Holly J. suddenly popped up on the morning announcement TV screen in the hallway, _GOOD MORNING, DEGRASSI! _Jillian cringed as Holly J. continued to loudly yap away on the screen right above her head.

"Ohhh!" she moaned, covering her ears, "Turn it down!"

"I don't understand why you're doing this." I told her, "What's with all this drinking?"

"I'm fine!" Jillian took her sunglasses and put them back on.

"Admit it, Jillian," I said, calmly, "You have a problem."

"No I don't! It's everyone else that has a problem with me!" She grabbed her books and took off down the hallway.

* * *

><p>I stood in my bedroom with Clare. Clare held a big garbage box by my side, while I clutched an old binder in my hand, like a stubborn five year old, "Eli, you have <em>new<em> binders."

I continued to hold on to the binder, "But…maybe I need another one."

Clare raised an eyebrow to me, "I'm pretty sure your parents would buy one for you."

"But maybe someone else could use it!"

"It's just stuff, Eli."

I looked at the binder, and then at the box, and then back at Clare, who urged me on with wide eyes. I sighed deeply, then let go of the binder and let it slide into the box. I smiled lightly at the satisfaction of finally getting rid of something. I looked back at Clare, "Says the girl who broke into my room for a busted watch." I smirked.

"If it means something to you, keep it."

I pulled out the watch and examined it, "No, I think you should keep this." I handed it to her.

Clare smiled and looked at the watch in her hand, but then she gave it back to me, "I want you to have it. I need to let go of some stuff too." I put an arm around her and kissed her on the cheek.

We both began to scour the room for more junk. Suddenly, through all of the rubble, I came across an old flyer-type thing. I un-crinkled it and looked at the flyer. It was a picture of Jillian next to a picture of a heavy-set girl with big, round glasses. On the top it said, _Who will YOU choose for your student body president? _In Jillian's picture, she was standing in front of a bathroom mirror, bending over slightly so her cleavage showed. She wore a thin, almost see through tank top with skinny straps and it barely supported her. The other girl wasn't very attractive, especially next to Jillian. She had sort of a pear-shaped head, with practically no neck. She had long, thick, and frizzy red-orange hair. And to top it all off, she had freckles and checkles gallore.

Clare looked at me, questioningly, "What's that?"

"Oh….." I looked nervously at her, "it's just a flyer from Jillian's old school from when she ran for president."

"You mean garbage?" Clare smirked, pointing into the big box.

I shook my head, "I can't throw this out."

"Eli…." Clare began to protest.

"Look, it's just one thing." I countered.

Clare rolled her eyes, "Well, I guess we can't quit a habit cold-turkey. But I'm still proud of you." She smiled, "You're taking the first step."

I looked around the room and shook my head, "This is gonna take forever."

"I'm here." Clare said, "As long as you need me."

"You could work hard enough to earn a whole year free stay at the Hotel Eli." I smirked.

"What is it?" Clare said, jokingly, "Four stars?"

I sat down next to her, "Once it's ready….and _you _are."

Clare looked at me, then shyly down at the floor, "Maybe someday." She looked back up and smiled at me. I leaned in close to her and lingered there for a moment. Clare craned her neck up, until her lips met mine.

* * *

><p>I followed the directions that my dad gave me to my therapist's office. After parking my hearse, I went inside the building and looked down at the piece of paper that Bullfrog gave me:<p>

_Floor 4; Room 167_

I went up in the elevator and got off at floor four. I searched the hallway for the correct room number. Finally, I got to the door with the number 167 on it. I hesitantly knocked on the door.

"Come in!" said a woman's voice. I slowly opened the door and walked inside. The woman sat in a big chair in the corner of the room. She looked to be around in her mid-30s. She had wavy black hair that just went past her shoulders, and she was long and skinny. The woman looked up and smiled at me, "Hello. You must be Elijah Goldsworthy."

"Eli." I corrected, extending a hand to her.

She shook my hand, "Well, you can call me Jessi." She sat me down on the couch across from her and pulled out her notepad. "I just want to start out by getting to know you a little bit better." I nodded. "So, the one thing I know is that your parents were concerned that you had a problem with, uh…hoarding. Can you please explain this to me a little more?"

"Yeah…." I took a deep breath and for the next fifteen minutes, I explained to her about Julia and how I started hoarding. I told her about the way I felt every time I tried to throw something out.

Jessi nodded and scribbled things down in her notepad, "Wow….that must be really hard having to deal with losing someone who was so close to you." She looked at me sympathetically.

"Yeah…." I looked down and folded my hands, "I'm really trying to get better. I even had my girlfriend come to my house today and help me clean my room."

"That's very good, Eli." She smiled, "And it's great how you were able to move on and find someone else to have in your life."

"It wasn't easy," I admitted, "but I love Clare so much and I'm glad that I found her. She's so beautiful and smart…and we've been through so much together."

Jessi smiled, "That wonderful. It's nice that you could open up to her like that, so she could help you." I nodded. "I'm sure it isn't easy breaking a bad habit. When you and Clare were cleaning your room today, were there things that you still had trouble letting go of?"

"There were a few…." I confessed. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the flyer that I had found in my room earlier today.

"What's that?" Jessi asked, curiously.

"Oh it's just an old flyer." I said, handing it to her, "The girl on the left is my twin sister."

"Oh really? What's her name?"

"Jillian."

Jessi studied the flyer and chuckled. "Well, she sure is cute."

"Yeah, and also Julia was her best friend, ever since they were 5 years old."

"Wow," Jessi nodded, "and how did Jillian take Julia's death?"

My face dropped and I sighed, "Not so well. She was devastated. She still doesn't like to talk about it."

Jessi tapped her pen against her chin, "Tell me more about Jillian."

"Well…..I don't really know where to begin." I laughed softly, "Um, well she's very…interesting. She can be quite a ditz sometimes." Jessi laughed at this. "She's very strong-willed and she doesn't let people push her around."

"Are you guys close?"

I nodded, "Oh yeah. We're like best friends."

"That's very nice." She commented, "I love it when brothers and sister get along so well. I can tell you one thing…..I never got along with any of my siblings at all. Although it might have had something to do with the fact that there were seven of us." We both laughed. Jessi looked back down at the flyer in her hand, "Just out of curiosity, why did you feel the need to keep this when you were cleaning out your room with Clare?"

"Well…." I twiddled my thumbs, "it's just something I wanted to keep with me." Jessi raised an eyebrow at me. "If I throw this away…someone could go through our garbage! They'll find this picture of Jillian, and then…something bad will happen to her again."

She looked questioningly at me, "What do you mean 'again'?"

I sighed, "This picture that you're holding…..is what started Jillian's bulimia problem."

"You're sister was bulimic?" She asked. I nodded. She placed her hand over her chest and gave me a sympathetic look, "Oh, dear, that's terrible. That poor girl."

"She's over it now." I reassured, "But…..it was a really dark stage."

"Now, how did this picture end up causing a problem like that?"

I folded my hands and explained, "In middle school, Jillian went to a boarding school, called Chives. She was in 8th grade and ran for middle school president against a girl named Amanda Stone." I pointed to the other girl on the flyer. "Of course, Amanda wasn't as popular as Jillian. As a matter of fact, she was kind of a loser."

"How do you know that this girl was so unpopular?" Jessi asked.

"Jillian would email me, and she would also tell me about her when she would come home to visit on the weekends." I explained, "Plus, I was always reading the school tweets online." Jessi nodded, urging me to continue. "So anyway, this Amanda got jealous of Jillian and she knew that Jillian made fun of her behind her back…..and that's how it all started…."

_**Vote Jillian Goldsworthy for class prezidunt!** I chuckled, holding the flyer that Jillian mailed me. Right under the big bold letters was some dopey bathroom mirror picture that she took when she was bored. Under that picture in littler letters said, **Jill has skill!** I thought it was a pretty cute logo. I went on my laptop and on twitter to see how the election was going for her. I scrolled down the newsfeed that had "chivespresidentialelections" trending. Many of the tweets supported Jillian. In fact, also trending was, "jillianforschoolprez". I clicked on that and scrolled down. Everyone was saying how Jillian was going to win and how much they loved Jillian and blah blah blah. I would have hated to be in that Amanda girl's position right now. Just then, a new tweet popped up with the same trend. It was from Amanda Stone and she tweeted a link to a picture. I wondered what Jillian's opponent would be tweeting on her trend. I clicked on the picture. My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe what the hell I was seeing. What I saw next made me want to hunt Amanda down and cut her throat open. It was Jillian's poster picture, and Amanda had written a caption on it:_

_**BIG BOOBS DON'T COUNT IF YOU'RE FAT!**_

_My hands shook with fury, "Oh my god…..that bitch." About two seconds later, my phone rang. I picked it up._

"_Hello?"_

"_AHHHHHHHH!" Jillian screamed into the phone, furiously. I pulled the phone away and rubbed my ear. "Eli, have you been on twitter lately?" She practically shrieked into the phone._

"_Jillian….." I said in a calming voice, "I know. I saw."_

"_You did?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_I'm gonna KILL Amanda Stone!" She growled, "I'm gonna kick her ass tomorrow!"_

"_Relax, Jill, you don't need to kick anyone's ass."_

"_You bet I'm kicking her ass!" Jillian said, determined, "I'm gonna shove her ass down her throat and make her eat her granny panties!"_

"_Look, it's just one stupid tweet." I told her, "Even you know that you're not anywhere CLOSE to fat, don't you?"_

_Jillian was silent for a few seconds. Then she just simply stated, "I'm gonna kill her." The line went dead._

_The next day was Friday and Jillian was coming home for the weekend. That afternoon before Bullfrog went to pick her up, I went to go check out twitter again. I saw the picture of Jillian again, with the caption that called her fat. The picture already had a lot of comments on it. The first two comments I saw were both from girls, who were obviously friends of Amanda's:_

_**- Haha! Maybe she should use potato sacks for a bra! LOL!**_

_**- ^^ I think she should put a potato sack over her FACE! ^^**_

_I shook my head and clicked off of the picture. I didn't feel like reading any more of the comments. Just then, a new tweet popped up from a guy. It had a link to a YouTube video and it said, "OMG! Smack-down!" I curiously clicked on the video link. Next thing I saw was Jillian on top of some girl._

"_You BITCH!" Jillian yelled, "You little bitch!" That was the least vulgar of what she said, because then she continued to scream out curse words that even Bullfrog would never use._

"_Holy shit!" chuckled the guy who was holding the camera, "This is sick!"_

"_Man…." the guy next to him said, "If Amanda was hott too, this would be awesome!"_

"_Totally!" The camera guy agreed, "But this isn't even a fight. Jillian's just kicking Amanda's ass." He laughed, "Oh shit! I'm so putting this on YouTube!"_

_Jillian continued to beat up Amanda, until finally, some long-haired blond boy stepped in and grabbed Jillian, pulling her flailing body off of Amanda. He held Jillian by her shoulders and made her take some deep breaths, until she was calm again. I had never seen this guy before. He wore a long-sleeved shirt under a short-sleeved one and he had a skateboard strapped to his backpack. Just by looking at him, I could tell he was one of those bimbo, skater-boys. I shut my laptop and went downstairs._

_When Jillian was home, we all sat at the kitchen table and talked, while we waited for the spaghetti to be done. "Aw, we've missed you baby-girl." Cece smiled._

"_Really?" Jillian giggled, "I've only been gone for a week."_

"_It's still a long time for us." Bullfrog added, "So tell us all about school."_

"_What about school?" Jillian asked._

"_You know, how are the teachers? The work?"_

"_Any new boyfriends?" Cece asked in a suggestive voice._

_Bullfrog turned to Cece, "Oh, hell no!" They both started laughing. _

"_Hey, what about the presidential elections?" Cece asked._

"_Oh yeah!" Bullfrog looked eager, "Tell us about that!"_

"_Oh…." Jillian's face dropped a bit, "the elections." She bit her lip and her eyes rolled down to the floor, "Those have been going…..great. A lot of people wanna vote for me."_

"_That's great!" Cece said, delighted, "I saw a picture of that Amanda on the school website." She laughed, "Oh man, if that's your competition, you're sure to win."_

"_She looks like one of the girls that we used to have to date if we lost a bet." Bullfrog added, laughing._

"_Trust me, Jill," Cece told her, "people want their president to be a girl like you. I mean, no offense to that Amanda girl, but they're not gonna want some cow." Suddenly, the stove timer went off, "Oh! The pasta's done."_

_Jillian squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, and then quickly stood up, "Um, you know what? I think I'm gonna skip dinner tonight."_

"_Really, Jill?" Cece asked, "It's your favorite."_

"_I know." She said, "But I'm….really tired. I'm not feeling well. I think I'm gonna go take a nap."_

"_Oh alright, Baby. If you're still hungry later tonight, I'll make sure there's some left over."_

"_That's ok." Jillian shook her head, "I'll be fine." She left the kitchen and went upstairs._

As I concluded my story, Jessi finished scribbling in her notepad then looked up at me, "Wow, and that's how it all started?" I nodded. "Well, this has been a great first session. I feel like I really got to know you, Eli." I nodded. "Ok, so having your girlfriend help you clean your room was a good idea. You need close friends to help you through this, Eli. Maybe Jillian can help you clean your room some days."

I laughed, imagining Jillian trying to help me clean. Everything she would pick up would be picked up lightly between her thumb and index finger, while she repeated, "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew….." Then she'd probably fall asleep and not 'help' me at all. I shook my head and laughed, "Nah…..I don't think that would work out."

Jessi laughed, "Well, the minute you see how clean your room is when you're done, you'll be inspired to keep it that way." She pulled a little white slip out of her pocket, "Here, if you ever need any help, just call me."

* * *

><p>When I got home, I heard Jillian in the kitchen with Cece. "Are you insane?" Jillian yelled at Cece, as she stormed out of the kitchen.<p>

Cece ran after her, "Jillybean, we're just trying to help you. We're worried."

"I don't need your help!" She huffed, "And I certainly do not need rehab! I could stop if I wanted to!"

"But, we _need_ you to want to stop drinking." Cece begged, "If we don't do something now, it's gonna mess up your life."

"My life is already messed up!" She spat, "When I'm drinking is the only time I feel good! Why do you wanna send me to rehab….because you couldn't find another boarding school to ship me off to?"

Cece looked at her with a hurt expression, "Jillian, the last thing your father and I want to do is send you away."

Jillian stood there with her arms crossed, "Then why do you want to send me to rehab?"

"We don't want to send you to rehab!" My mother looked almost driven to tears, "But we don't know what else to do! Bullfrog and I feel like we've lost control of you! We're losing you, baby!"

Jillian rolled her eyes, "You think you guys are losing _me_? I'm losing everyone else! All these rules and changes…I don't have anyone anymore!"

"Jillian…." Cece reached out to touch her arm, but Jillian shrugged her off.

"I'm going to bed!" Jillian charged upstairs.

Cece shook her head and dropped down onto the couch with her hand over her face. I sighed and sat down next to my mom. "I'm such a terrible parent." She cried.

"No you're not." I put my arm around her in comfort, "None of this is your fault. Jillian is just confused. Look, I'll talk to her."

"Please do, Eli." Cece nodded, "Maybe _you'll_ get through to her."

I patted my mom on the shoulder and ran upstairs. I walked into Jillian's room and saw her curled up into a ball on the floor with an un-opened whiskey bottle in her hand. "Jillian!" I looked at her in shock, "Really?"

"They wanna send me to rehab!" Jillian cried.

"So you think that drinking yourself silly is going to fix that?" I said, harshly, "You need help!"

"All I need is for everybody to get off my back!" She said, returning my harsh tone, "Especially you!"

I knelt down next to her, "I'm just trying to help you!"

"Sure!" Jillian stood up, "Help me! Help me! Everyone's trying to 'help me'! No one realizes that _they're_ the reason that I need help! I'm completely happy with my life and being myself, and everyone's trying to screw that up for me!"

I crossed my arms, "If you're so happy, then why do you drink all the time?"

"That's _my_ choice! Just because I drink doesn't mean there's something wrong with me! In two years, I'll be able to drink legally! So why should it be a problem if I choose to start now? Why do you care so much anyways?" Jillian turned away from me.

"Because Jill…..I'm scared!" I yelled at her, "All the nights that you come home at 3 am, so shitfaced drunk that you can't speak….all the mornings you come downstairs, looking like hell! I'm terrified! I feel like you're slipping away and there's nothing I can do about it! I feel like I'm gonna lose you!" Jillian didn't say a word. I continued, "That night at the Vegas Night dance where Fitz almost stabbed you because you were drinking-"

"Wait!" Jillian whipped back around to face me, "You think that was _my_ fault? You think that I _asked_ Fitz to come and stab me?"

"Well, you might as well have!" I yelled at her, "With your stupid ipecac idea and the way you got wasted!"

"You're the one that _listened_ to my 'stupid' ipecac idea!" She spat at me, "And what does my drinking have to do with that?"

"Well, if you had been sober, you wouldn't have been stupid enough to go with Fitz! Of course, you're so stupid that maybe you would have gone with him anyway, just for kicks! And if your drinking wasn't the problem, it was definitely that slutty outfit you wore! That's what attracted all the attention of Fitz's little posse! They probably had their eyes on you the entire night, wondering who would gang-bang your unconscious body first, after Fitz was done stabbing you!" Jillian looked at me, wide-eyed and speechless. But I wasn't done, "You put us all in danger! You ruined everything! You think that it's everyone else's fault that we have these new, stupid rules? You think that everyone else is you're problem? It's _you_ who's the problem! You're your _own_ problem, and I can't believe that I risked my life for a stupid whore like you! I hate you!" The minute that came out of my mouth, I wished that I never had said it. Jillian stared furiously at me, with teary indigo eyes. "J-Jill…..I-"

"GET OUT!" She bellowed at me, making me jump, "JUST GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!" I spun around and headed out her door. Jillian slammed the door shut behind me. I ran into my room and threw myself down onto the skull-patterned comforter on top of my bed. I couldn't believe myself for what I had just said to Jillian. I called her a whore and said that I hated her. Jillian and I have had many fights before, but never like this. I wanted to take it back so badly.

**Jillian's POV**

It was 1 am and I couldn't get to sleep. I sat up in my bed, sobbing, with dried-up tears all down my cheeks. Cece and Bullfrog had already fallen asleep in their bedroom, after I had to listen to them whisper to each other about me for about two hours. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't stay here and watch everything around me fall apart, because I knew that eventually, I was going to fall apart with it. And now the one person, who I thought was the only person who understood me, hates my guts. I never understood why the people you loved the most always ended up hurting you the worst. Because if someone you don't like hurts you, you never really care because you don't give two shits about them. But if it's someone you love, someone who's been there….well….since you were born, that's when it really hurts. I slowly got up and walked down the hallway to Eli's room. I peeked inside and saw him sound asleep. I tip toed up to his bedside and stood there for a few seconds, wanting closure in the worst way, but I knew that I was never gonna get it as long as I was gonna go through with what I was about to do. I almost felt like waking him up…

No.

This was for my own good. I couldn't stay in a place that threatened me and my personality, and I couldn't keep hurting people the way I was. I gently picked up his hand from his sleeping body and held it in mine. "I'm sorry…." A tear rolled down my cheek, "I'm sorry that I caused so much trouble. I promise, I'm not gonna be a problem anymore." I squeezed his hand one last time, before letting go and letting it drop back down to his side. I walked out of his room, fighting the urge to look back at him. And then…..

I left.

**So, what you think? ;D Please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE REVIEEEEW! Omg please! I wanna know what you guys think! You guys are my inspiration to keep writing and if I think that no one is reading my story, then I'm not inspired : ( I NEED YOU GUYS! :D**

**P.S. When Eli used the word "checkles", for those of you who don't know what that means, it's chest-freckles...get it? CHECKLES? xD kk...**


	9. Gone with the wind

_**Omg! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in like two and a half weeks! I had so much school work to do and we're planning this big party for my sister and...omg I'm so sorry! Please don't hate me! Just read, review, and enjoy! :D AND REVIEW!**_

**Eli's POV**

_The cup with the ipecac for Fitz sat on the table. As I waited for Fitz, Jillian came over to me, on the arm of John._

_"Heyy duuuude!" They slurred in unison._

_I turned around and looked annoyed at the two disheveled teens, "You guys drank too much!" I stated simply._

_"Are you kidding me?" Jillian laughed, "I didn't drink enough!" She then looked curiously at the spiked drink on the table, "Hey what's this?" She picked it up and put it to her lips._

_"No! Jillian! Don't drink that!" I yelled at her, "That's poison!" She didn't listen to me. She just laughed and threw the drink back. A few seconds went by, and the next thing I knew, Jillian had that sick look on her face. She bent down and spewed vomit all over the floor. "I told you not to drink that!" I scolded her. Jillian stared straight ahead and her face went completely blank. "Jillian?" No answer. Jillian's face turned a sickly purple, and then she clutched her chest, "Ahhhh!" She collapsed to the ground and fell unconscious. "JILLIAN!" I yelled out._

"_Uh…is this bad?" John asked stupidly._

"_Somebody help!" I screamed._

_Suddenly, I looked behind me and saw Fitz. Fitz stood in the corner smirking, with his arms crossed, "I always knew she was a stupid bitch."_

I jolted up in my bed and looked anxiously around the dark room. Once again, it had just been a nightmare. This was just about the umpteenth nightmare I've had, yet it still didn't fail to leave me shaking uncontrollably. I looked over at the clock.

_5:30 am_

I sighed and threw my head back onto the pillow. I began to remember all the things that had happened before I fell asleep. Mom was trying to talk to Jillian and the next thing I knew, Jillian and I were yelling at each other and I said a lot of things I shouldn't have said. But most importantly, I wanted to make sure Jillian was ok now. I grabbed my blanket and pillow and walked out into the hallway. I tiptoed over to Jillian's door, which was cracked open a bit. I pushed open the door and slowly walked into her room. It was dark and I couldn't really see that well. I couldn't really see Jillian in the bed that well…or really at all. I slowly crept up to the side of her bed and ran my hand over the sheets. Then, my heart jumped in my chest when I didn't feel Jillian. I ran over to the lamp on her desk and turned it on. Now I could see the bed, which was uncovered and empty. I ran to the bathroom to see if she was in there, but she wasn't there either. "Jillian?" I whispered. No answer. I search the entire house for her, upstairs and down. She still wasn't there. I ran back downstairs and kept searching. I became more and more panicked. The sunlight began to creep into the living room, as I desperately tried to find her. I was worried because I knew that Jillian was not this good of a hider. "Jillian, this isn't funny!" I called in a panicked tone, "Please just come out!" I looked for her, until 7:30 am, when I heard Cece and Bullfrog come down the stairs.

"Eli, what are you doing up so early?" My mom asked me.

"It's Jillian….." I panted, "She's not here!"

Bullfrog raised an eyebrow at me, "What do mean she's not here?"

"I mean….SHE'S. NOT. HERE!" I clarified, "Jillian is not in the house! Jillian Goldsworthy has left the building!"

"That's nonsense." Cece laughed, "Jillian is upstairs sleeping." She gave me a concerned look, "Do we need to take you to your therapist early today?"

"No! Mom, she's actually not here!" I said, "Go see for yourself!" Cece cocked her head to the side, and then ran up the stairs, "Jillian?" My mom called, "Jillybean wake up! It's time for school!" Then I hear a loud gasp as Cece came flying downstairs, "Oh my god! Bullfrog, she's not in bed!"

"Wait….." I thought for a second, and then I opened the door and ran outside. I looked at the driveway and realized that Jillian's car was missing as well. I saw a red glimmer of something where her car had been parked. I walked over and picked it up. It was Jillian's "J" choker. I ran back inside to find mom and dad frantically searching the house, just like I had been 5 minutes ago.

"Jillian?" My mom called.

"Jill?" Bullfrog followed her, "This isn't funny! You're gonna be late for school!"

"Baby-girl?"

Bullfrog turned around to face Cece, "We gotta check the house for broken door hinges. Someone may have broken in and….."

"Oh no!" Cece cried, "You don't think someone actually came in and kidnapped her? We would have woken up, RIGHT?"

"Guys!" They both turned to face me. I held up her choker in my hand, "Jillian's car is missing."

Cece and Bullfrog grew silent and looked at me, surprised. "You mean…..she ran away?" Cece said with confusion clear on her face.

"Well actually," Bullfrog corrected her, "She _drove_ away."

I reassured them, "Look, if Jillian wasn't kidnapped or anything, it's probably not a big deal. She's just being a drama queen again. Watch, any minute now she's gonna burst through that door."

"But….." Cece shook her head, "I don't understand. Why would she just take off like that?"

"Well," I nervously bit my lip, "Jillian and I sorta had a fight last night."

Bullfrog looked curiously at me, "About…?"

"It's not important." I told him, "But I was pretty rough on her…and I said some things I shouldn't have said."

"Well, I'm gonna start calling her friends to see who she's with." My mom ran into the kitchen.

"Look," Bullfrog told me, "Go ahead and get ready for school. Don't worry about your sister, ok?"

I nodded and went up the stairs to shower. _They'll find her. _I thought to myself, _Just like I said earlier, she's just being a drama queen. I bet when I get home, she's gonna be there. As a matter of fact, I bet she's already at school. Everything's gonna be ok._ I attempted to comfort myself. _I've got nothing to worry about._

* * *

><p>As I emptied my books into my locker, I scanned the hallways for Jillian.<p>

"Hey Eli." Clare came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. She looked at me strangely when I didn't respond, "Is something wrong."

I turned to her and sighed, "I'm sorry. I've just been up all night looking for Jillian."

Clare gave me a confused look, "Looking for her? Where is she?"

"Well," I shrugged, "She kinda…disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

I walked down the hallway with Clare, "She snuck out last night. I know because this morning, her car wasn't in the driveway." I pulled her choker necklace out of my back pocket.

"Oh wow…." Clare looked at me concerned, "do you have any idea where she went?"

"No….." I sighed, "But chances are she's just playing around. I mean, I'm probably gonna get home today and find her convertible blocking the front of the driveway like it always is. Then I'm gonna go inside and find her sitting on the couch with a bottle of beer, watching South Park."

"I hope so." Clare smiled, "And speaking of parking, you owe me a driving lesson one of these days."

I smirked, "That's right. Tomorrow morning, we hit the road." Clare laughed.

_Will Eli Goldsworthy come down to the office? _The loud speaker sounded, _Eli Goldsworthy to the office._

Clare and I looked at each other, confused. "Well, I guess I better go down there."

"Ok, see ya."

I leaned in towards Clare, about to kiss her, but then a teacher passed by and gave us a dirty look. We both rolled our eyes, "See ya, Clare." I walked down the hallway to Mr. Simpson's office. Mr. Simpson saw me and waved me in, "Eli."

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes, Eli." He stood up from his desk and walked over to me, "Your parents need you home right now. It's an emergency."

"Did they say what the emergency was?" I asked, already knowing what it probably was, yet praying that it wasn't what I was thinking it was about.

"Um…." He tapped his foot, nervously, "You should probably just go home."

"Ok…..uh, yeah." I slowly walked out of Simpson's office, "I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Simpson."

* * *

><p>I pulled my hearse into the driveway with ease, considering Jillian's car wasn't there to block it. I ran inside and found my dad on the phone and my mom frantically pacing around. "Mom, what is it?" I asked, "Why did you want me home?"<p>

Cece's head jerked up, having just realized that I was home, "Oh, Eli! There you are!" She ran over to me.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Jillian….." she said, "No one has seen or heard from her. I called all of her friends from Degrassi AND Chives. She's not even answering her cellphone!"

"Mom, Jillian's got to be somewhere. Maybe you missed someone…." I suggested.

Cece shook her head, "I called _everyone_. Even that John boy. He said, 'Sorry, duuuude. I don't know where she is.' Bullfrog has been on the phone with the police all morning. So far, they have _nothing_."

I couldn't believe Cece at first, "Are….are you sure?"

"Sweetie….the police don't lie." I was speechless. I slowly turned around and sat down on the couch, not saying a word. Cece came over and sat down next to me. She ran her fingers through my hair, "Oh, baby-boy, I'm sorry. I'm just as upset as you. The police are good…..they'll find her. I know it."

"There's no reason to be upset." I said matter of factly, "Jillian isn't missing."

"Eli, look the police said that…" Cece started.

"NO SHE'S _NOT_!" I pounded my fists on the coffee table. Cece jumped up, slightly startled. "She's not missing! This all just a trick! She's _can't _be missing! She just CAN'T!"

"Eli…." My mom put her hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me down.

I swatted her hand away, "I gotta go to se Jessi now. We have an appointment." Before my mom could say anything else, I grabbed my car keys and stormed out the door.

* * *

><p>"Hello Eli." Jessi greeted me, "How's everything been going?"<p>

I shrugged, "Ok….I guess." I sat down on the couch next to her.

"Ok, that's good." Jessi flipped through her notepad and looked at yesterday's notes, "So what were we talking about yesterday?"

"Um….I was telling you about….Jillian's bulimia."

"Oh yeah, here we are." Jessi pointed to her notepad, "You never told me the rest of that story."

"Well, it's a long story." I told her, "But I'll tell you the rest if you want."

"Please do." Jessi said, readying her pen.

"Ok….." I sat back and took a deep breath and began to spill:

_It had been two weeks, since Jillian came home to visit. Cece was setting the kitchen table for when she would come home tonight for the weekend. I heard Bullfrog's car pull up in the driveway._

"_Oh, she's home!" My mom said happily. Bullfrog walked through the door with Jillian and Cece immediately ran over and tackled her into a hug. "__Aw, Jillybean, we've missed you so much!"_

"_Hi mom." Jillian smiled_

"_Hey, Jill." I greeted her. I noticed something different about her…..I couldn't quite put my finger on it at first. But as Jillian and I talked, I knew what was different: she was a little bit thinner than last time I saw her. I didn't think that could be it, because I never thought Jillian could be any thinner, considering how thin she was to start out with. But as I studied her carefully, that seemed to be the case._

_*Ding!*_

"_Oh, the casserole's done!" Cece exclaimed, "Come on, guys." She motioned us into the kitchen._

"_So Jillian__," I asked her as we followed Cece, "how have the presidential elections been going? I heard everyone hates Amanda now and no one's gonna vote for her."_

_Jillian smiled slightly, "Oh yeah, I've definitely got a lead."_

"_Good." I smirked, as we sat down, "That bitch deserves it, for what she said about you."_

"_Ok, guys," Cece smiled putting the casserole down on the table, "dig in!" Naturally, Bullfrog and I went at it, fighting each other for the spoon. "Calm down, boys," Cece laughed, "there's plenty for all of you." Once I had enough on my plate, I looked over at Jillian and noticed that she didn't get any yet._

"_Oh here, Jill." I spooned some out onto her plate._

"_Oh yeah…." She said, looking strangely uneasy, "um, thanks." I dug into my food and scarfed down about two plates. I looked over at Jillian and noticed that she wasn't eating. Instead she just kinda moved the pieces around on her plate._

"_Hey, J__ill, aren't you going to eat?"_

_She looked up at me, "Huh? Oh….yeah. I'm eating." I gave her a suspicious look. To prove her point, she picked up a tiny noodle with her fork and took a bite. I watched her closely, as she slowly swallowed it._

"_Are you ok?" I asked her._

"_Who? ME?" Jillian said, "Of course. I'm great." She forced a smile, "Why wouldn't I be?"_

"_Just checking." I told her as I went back to eating. Every now and then, I would peek at her out of the corner of my eye and watched as she moved the pieces of food around on the plate, but not one piece went in her mouth._

_The next morning, when Jillian came downstairs, I was already up eating breakfast. Cece had made chocolate chip pancakes, since it was Jillian's favorite. Jillian walked into the kitchen in her silky camisole and PJ shorts. "Oh, good morning, Jill." Cece greeted her, "Did you sleep well?"_

"_Mmm__ hmmm…." She answered groggily._

"_How many pancakes do you want?" Cece asked her._

_Jillian looked down and shuffled her feet, "Oh….um, actually, I'm….not hungry."_

"_What do mean you're not hungry?" She asked, "It's your favorite, silly-billy."_

"_I'm ok." Jillian said, "Besides, Julia and I were planning on spending the day at the mall today, so we're gonna be pigging out all day."_

_Cece laughed, "Ok, baby. Just make sure you save some room for tonight. We're going out to Little Miss Steaks for dinner."_

_Jillian forced out a little giggle, "Fun…." _

"_Is she ok?" I asked Cece, when Jillian left the kitchen, "She's been acting weirdly ever since she got home__."_

"_I don't know…." Cece shrugged, "I mean, if anyone knows what's going on with your sister, I would thi__nk it's you."_

"_Well I don't and I'm a little worried about her."_

"_Aw don't worry, baby-boy," Cece reassured me, "she's probably just nervous because of elections. Trust me, she's fine."_

_That night at the restaurant, Jillian was still acting strangely. She didn't even touch her spaghetti and instead, she just drank, like, 50 glasses of water. "Jillian, you can't just chug water all night." I told her, "You need to eat something."_

"_I'm not hungry," she said, "Julia and I ate so much at the mall, I feel like p__uking."_

"_I told you not to fill up on junk food." Cece laughed, "But it is your special weekend."_

_When we got home from the restaurant, I was sitting on my bed listening to Dead Hand with my, as Jillian calls them, 'giganto-phones'. She always teases me that I had these big headphones and always asked why I didn't use iPod earphones like a normal person. Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I looked at the caller I.D._

_Julia._

_I smirked and picked up the phone, __"Hey baby."_

"_Hi Eli." I could almost hear her__ smiling through the phone. _

_That beautiful voice of hers…..I remember it so vividly…_

I choked. Jessi put her pen down and gave me a concerned look, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "I'm fine….I just…."

"I know how upsetting it is to remember a loved one." She said, sympathetically, "You don't have to go on."

I shook my head, "No, no. I'm good now. I'll continue."

Jessi smiled and put her pen back to her paper.

"_How are you?" I asked her._

"_I'm good…just wanted to talk to my sexy man." She giggled._

"_Well, the sexy man is ready to talk…and is alone." I said, suggestively._

_Julia giggled, "Hott."_

"_So, how was your girls' day out?" I smirked, "You guys better not have had TOO much fun."_

"_Oh you know, we just shopped around and looked at some cute things."_

"_Yo__u better be talking about clothes." We both laughed._

"_Actually, Eli….I did want to ask you something. Is Jillian…..ok?"_

"_Why do you ask?"_

"_Well…." Julia explained, "It's just that today, she didn't wanna eat anything. Even when I got a funnel cake….with CHOCOLATE SAUCE! I ended up eating the whole thing and looking like a fatty! Anyway, when we went to go look at clothing, she didn't wanna try anything on. Every time we found a cute or sexy outfit, she didn't wanna put it on."_

"_Why not?"_

"_She said it wouldn't fit her and that she didn't wanna embarrass herself….and then she started looking in the plus sizes! And then there were a bunch of fat ladies giving us dirty looks!__"_

"_Wow….that's really weird." I said, "Jillian said that you guys ate a lot though."_

"_Y__eah, maybe __**I**__ did, but unless you count a jillion cups of water as food, then I don't think so."_

"_You know, she HAS been acting weird." I admitted._

"_And also, has she gotten thinner?" She asked. I guess I was right._

"_Yeah! I noticed that too. Julia, what do you think's wrong?"_

"_Beats the shit out of MY ass." She chuckled, "You're her brother."_

"_I know, and I feel like a TERRIBLE brother not knowing what's going on with her."_

"_Look," she reasoned, "we're probably over thinking this. Chances are she's just nervous about something."_

"_Well, she does have the presidential elections." I said._

"_There we go." Julia pointed out, "She's probably fine."_

"_You're right." I smiled, "Thanks, Julia."_

"_Anytime, boo." She made a kissing noise through the phone, "Goodnight."_

"_Goodnight." I said, blowing a kiss back into the phone._

"And…..and then….." I tried to go on, but I couldn't take it anymore. Talking about Jillian so much was killing me. I began to worry about whether or not they found Jillian yet. Would they ever find her?

"Eli…..?" Jessi looked at me concerned.

"I…I'm sorry. Can we just….not talk about that right now?"

"Ok….." Jessi nodded, "Um, so what would you like to talk about?" I shrugged. "Ok….well let's see." Jessi thought, "How's the hoarding problem?"

"It's better." I said, "Um…Clare's ben helping me clean my room. I'm not collecting as much garbage."

"That's very good, Eli. I'm glad you're making progress." I smiled at her compliment. Jessi tapped her pen against her chin to try and think of other things to say, "Now….how about that thing that happened at your school dance? Your dad mentioned that on the phone with me."

"Oh right…." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, "_That_." Another thing I still didn't feel comfortable talking about. I went on to explain about Fitz and how he would try to bully me and how he and my sister began fighting when she first came to Degrassi. I told her about the ipecac and how Fitz almost stabbed Jillian and then me. I also mentioned that Jillian had been drinking that night, and that was why she couldn't defend herself. "I was so scared….." I told her in a shaky voice, "I keep having these terrible nightmares that Fitz kills Jillian and there's nothing I can do about it…I wake up and almost every night now, I end up sleeping on the floor outside of Jillian's room. Because I'm afraid that if I don't…" My hands shook violently, as I made a futile effort to process more words.

"Eli." Jessi came closer to me and held my hands steady, "It's alright. Nothing bad is gonna happen to your sister."

I snapped my head up to her. I couldn't take this anymore…..

"You just don't GET IT!" I yelled, "SOMETHING BAD ALREADY _DID_ HAPPEN!" Jessi looked quizzically at me as tears began to flow out of my eyes, "Jillian is missing. Last night, I went into her room, like always, and she wasn't there. My parents and I searched the entire house…..we couldn't find her. We looked everywhere…..we called all her friends. We even called the police. Nothing."

I continued to cry and Jessi put her arm around me in comfort, "Oh gosh, Eli, I'm sorry. That's terrible."

"What if they don't find her." I said, "What if I never see her again and it's all my fault?"

"It's not your fault, dear."

"Yes it is," I said, "Jillian and I were fighting last night. I called her some really bad things and I told her that I wished that I never saved her life. Then just like that….she was gone." I took a deep, shaky breath, "It's just like what happened with Julia…I never got a chance to tell her I'm sorry and that I love her." I pounded my fists on my lap, suddenly becoming enraged, "WHY DO I HURT PEOPLE LIKE THIS? WHY! I ALWAYS SCREW EVERYTHING UP! I DON'T _DESERVE _A SECOND CHANCE! I'M SUCH AN FREAKING ASSHOLE!"

"Eli, it's ok." Jessi said, "You didn't do anything wrong. I bet they'll find her." Jessi pulled me into her arms for comfort, "It's alright…it's gonna be ok."

* * *

><p>I sat at my desk up in my room all night with my laptop open. I needed something to distract me. I had been working on a story for this compilation called <em>Gothic Tales<em>. I really wanted to get something published, but I had total writer's block. My mind was still preoccupied on Jillian. I shook the thoughts from my head and began to write.

_Once upon a time….._

I deleted that phrase immediately and gave myself a good slap across the face. _Really, Eli? _I thought, _Once upon a freaking time? Once upon my ASS!_ I couldn't believe that was even the first thing that came to mind. I took a deep breath and began again.

_It was a dark and dreary night….._

Ok, now this was ridiculous. If I could only think up stupid clichés, I was never going to get this done. I thought that maybe I wouldn't focus on the beginning. I just needed to think up ideas. What would make a horror story more interesting?

_A ROMANTIC horror!_

It suddenly came to me. I began to type.

_The hero will be..._

I sat back and thought for a second...

_Malcolm; a dark, brooding sort of character. Maybe I'll have him drive a hearse…_

_And then his lover is someone…..innocent. Someone beautiful and pure. I'll name her Rachel, because that's the second most innocent sounding name that I know, right under….._

I smirked to myself when I realized where I was going with this. But hey, the best stories are written, based off of real life, aren't they? This was getting good. And the best part was, my mind was totally preoccupied from…

I glared at the laptop screen. Then I continued to type.

_Also in this story, Malcolm has a sister…Rarity. She hates his guts and eventually runs away from him, so she can meet guys. This is easy for her, because she is very beautiful and they guys always act like horny pigs around her._

I smirked again, a bit sinisterly this time. I looked again at what I had written so far. As soon as I could turn this brain dump into a story, and give it a title, this would probably be the best thing I've ever written.


	10. The enemy returns

_**Hi guys! Here it is! First off, I would like to say that I am SOOOO SUPER SORRY! D: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I'VE BEEN SO BUSY AND…..OH GOD, I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!**_

_**Well, anyways, enjoy! :D**_

**Clare's POV**

I excitedly drummed my fingers on the steering wheel of Morty, and Eli sat next to me in the passenger's seat. He was preoccupied at his _Gothic Tales_ magazine. "Gothic Tales submission deadline is Friday." He told me, "That gives me less than a week to turn my brain dump into a story."

"Clear your schedule." I advised, "Eliminate distractions."

"Like giving driving lessons." He smirked.

"Ok…." I reasoned, "_One _distraction."

Eli picked his magazine off his lap and a piece of paper fell out. He picked it up and sighed, "Well…..here's another distraction."

I looked at the paper. It was a picture of Jillian. On top, it said in big letters: **MISSING – JILLIAN HANNAH GOLDSWORTHY **It had her description below: _Golden brown hair, indigo eyes, very fair skin, 5'5_, etc. Placed right in the middle was her Degrassi school picture. Like always, Jillian looked like a model. "You know, Eli….." I told him, "You should try to focus as little on that as possible. I know it's a big problem, but I'm just afraid that if you get too upset…your hoarding problem….."

"I can't just pretend it's not happening….." He sighed, "And I can't make it go away either."

"I know," I said, "I'm sorry. They'll find her, I know it. But when you find yourself getting upset just…..try to focus on something else, like your story."

He gave me a suspicious look, "_And _teaching you how to drive, I suppose."

"My editing skills in exchange for your driving lessons?" I offered.

He looked at me, and then his lips curled up into a smile, "What would I do without my muse?"

"Oh you would be sad and lonely," I joked, "_and_ you would have no one to drive you to school."

"Hmmph." He leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips, "Now, don't get too cocky. Morty's an anti-curse. Remember what we talked about. Timing. Agility. Coordination."

"All skills I happen to have." I said with a smirk.

"You don't know Morty….." Eli said, "He's sensitive." I chuckled as I turned the key in the ignition. "Easy on the gas." Eli instructed me, "The slower we go, the less of a chance we have of getting into an accident." I raised an eyebrow at him. "I just don't want you to get hurt." I had a feeling he was more worried about Morty than me.

"I promise I'll be careful, Gramps." I teased him.

He smirked, "Ok, foot on the break, put it in drive." I did as he said. The engine revved. I smiled, still not believing that I was actually going to drive for the first time. "Check your blind spots…then _gently_ hit the gas." My smile got even bigger, as I readied myself, and then gently pressed the gas pedal with my foot. The car moved forward. For a few seconds, everything was great. Suddenly, a person jumped out in front of me. I quickly hit the break and Eli and I lurched forward. I looked up and saw the person again. Standing in front of us was a tall, brunette guy with a buzz cut.

No…..it couldn't be…

"FITZ?" I exclaimed.

Eli's head turned to the boy as well, "WHAT?"

"Eli…." Fitz sighed, as came up to the driver's window, "I'm so glad I found you guys." I just sat there frozen.

"Let's go!" Eli urged me, "LET'S GO!"

"Wait!" Fitz said, "I need to talk to you guys."

"LET'S GO!" Eli demanded a third time. Not knowing what else to do, I floored the gas and sped off.

**Eli's POV**

"How did Fitz get out of Juvie?" Clare asked frantically, as the two of us walked down the hallway, "You don't think he escaped, do you?"

"He must have been let out early." I assumed.

Clare gave me a worried look, "What could he want?"

"Last time I saw him, he pulled a knife on us." I shuddered, as flashbacks of Fitz holding the knife to my sister's throat came back, "Maybe he wants to settle the score."

"But…..they wouldn't let him out if he was _really_ dangerous, right?" I didn't know how to answer that question. I never expected Fitz to pull a knife on us, and I never expected Jillian to run away from me. I can't just assume anything anymore. Clare raised an eyebrow at me, "RIGHT?"

I shook my head and turned to her, "Look…I want you to stay away from Fitz. You hear me? We don't know how he got out of Juvie or what he wants. This could be a trick. We can't just take a guess that he's not gonna try to hurt us. He's _dangerous_, Clare."

"Ok….." She nodded, "but I can't stop thinking about why he wanted to talk to us."

"Just promise me…." I told her, "to steer clear of him." I was terrified, because it seemed like all I did was hurt the people I love, until they were gone. First Julia and now Jillian; the police haven't even found any clues to where she might be yet. My parents are devastated. I wasn't even sure if I was ever going to see her again. All I knew was that I wasn't going to let anything happen to Clare. I was ready to protect her at any cost.

* * *

><p>"Ok class," Mr. Perino began, "I'm just gonna quickly take attendance. Alison Greene?"<p>

"Here."

"Harold Stevens?"

"Here."

"Bianca DeSousa?"

"Yuh huh." Bianca mumbled, without looking up from filing her nails.

"Owen Milligan?"

"Sup bro!"

Mr. Perino rolled his eyes, and then looked back down at the list, "Eli Goldsworthy?"

"Yep." I replied.

"Jillian Goldsworthy?" The class remained silent. "Jillian Goldsworthy?" He repeated. Everyone in the class was now looking at me. "Eli, do you know where your sister is?"

"Oh…." I uncomfortably shifted in my seat, "Well um…."

Right on cue, Mr. Simpson came into the classroom, "Mr. Perino. I need to talk to you for a few minutes outside." After he was pulled outside the room, a buzz went over the class.

"So," Bianca said, snottily, "I guess Mr. P hasn't heard the 'tragic' news yet." I whipped my head around and looked at her.

"Come on, guys," Owen spoke up, "this is serious. I'm devastated. This tremendously decreases my chances of hooking up with her."

"Exactly." Bianca snorted, "Most likely, that bimbo got snatched by some pervert. Right now, she's probably lying dead in an alley way, covered in semen."

I sprung up from my seat, "Shut your mouth, bitch!"

Bianca crossed her arms, "Excuse me, emo boy?"

"You're just jealous because Jillian is beautiful and you know that you can't compete with her." I spat at her, "Stop talking shit about her! It's pathetic!"

Bianca scoffed defensively, "Ok, first of all, I am _not_ jealous of that dumb Britney Spears. She is so not competition for me. I'm hott. In fact, I know you probably wish you could hook up with me. I don't blame you. Who doesn't?"

I rolled my eyes, "You wish. You're such a cow! You're just a frizzy haired freak with a fat ass! Any guy who wants you must be either blind or extremely desperate!"

Bianca's eyes filled with rage and she stood up from her seat, "I don't need to take this from some emo pretty boy. You wanna screw with me, Goldsworthy? I'm not afraid to beat you down…..unless you're crazy enough to throw a desk at me like your insane slut of a sister."

I gritted my teeth, "My sister is NOT a slut, you little c-"

Suddenly, we heard Mr. Perino coming back into the classroom. Bianca and I locked anger-filled eyes one last time, before we sat back down in our seats. "Yes, sir." He said, "I….I didn't realize that. Wow….I hope her family is ok. I hope they find her." Mr. Perino walked back into the classroom, "Sorry about that, guys. I had to take care of something. Ok, so everyone open your books to page 148 and spend the next ten minutes reading on your own." Everyone began to silently read. Mr. Perino gave me a knowing look and nodded.

* * *

><p>During lunch period, I got into my hearse and drove around to try and look for Clare. I figured I could squeeze in one more driving lesson with her, before I had to leave early for my therapy session. Finally, I spotted her out front. I pulled up to her, "Time for your next lesson." I called out the window.<p>

Clare turned around, "Oh hey, Eli."

I stepped out of the driver's seat and let her slide in, and then I walked around to the other side and got into the passenger's seat. "Let's practice going backwards." I suggested, "Foot on the break, put it in reverse." I looked over at Clare. She was staring off into space. "Clare?" Her head snapped up. I raised an eyebrow at her, "Are you sure you're alright?"

She looked down at the ground, and then back up at me, "I saw Fitz."

"What?" What the hell! What could Fitz have been doing back here? "When?"

"Just before you got here." She said, "I talked to him….when he was locked up, he found _God_."

_Un freaking believable…._

"Can you believe that crap? Fitz _knows_ you, Clare! He knows your weakness!"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It's his angle! The whole Jesus thing!" I told her, "The 'forgive me lord, for I have sinned' thing. He's dangerous, remember? He pulled a knife on me!"

"I think there's more to it than that."

I slammed my fists on the dashboard. I was not getting through to Clare and it frustrated the hell out of me, "Damnit, Clare! You're making it so hard for me to do my job!"

"Your _job_?"

"As your boyfriend, my job is to protect you!"

Clare crossed her arms, "I never asked you to do that."

"Well, if not me, who?"

Clare looked hurt, "I'm not up for another one of your lessons." She opened the door and stepped out of the car.

"Clare, I didn't mean it like that." She slammed the door and stormed away. I sighed and threw my head back on the seat.

* * *

><p>"So, Eli," Jessi asked me as I sat down on the couch, "how have things been going with finding your sister?"<p>

I sighed and shook my head, "Not so well. The police can't find anything."

"Oh Eli…..I'm so sorry to hear that." She said, in a saddened tone.

"I've been trying so hard to distract myself from it."

"Like how?" She asked.

"Well," I thought, "I've been giving my girlfriend driving lessons. Oh, and also I've been working on a horror story that I'm gonna submit to _Gothic Tales_."

"Well that sounds nice." She took out her notepad and began to scribble things down, "What's your story about?"

"Well….I'm not really sure yet. But I already know who the characters are." Jessi nodded as I went on. "My main character is Malcolm. He's sort of a dark character, even though he's the hero. His heroine is going to be Rachel. Rachel is a sweet, beautiful, innocent girl, who helps Malcolm put his past behind him."

"That's very interesting." Jessi nodded, "Any other characters?"

I looked down and thought for a second, "Well, there is one other character. Her name is Rarity. She's Malcolm's sister." Jessi raised an eyebrow at me. "Rarity is a wild, promiscuous girl, and quite frankly she's not that smart. Lots of guys like to sexually harass her and she never stops them because she has a sick mind and loves the sexual harassment. She hates Malcolm's guts and eventually runs away from him."

"Uh huh…." Jessi tapped her pen against her chin, "Eli…..do you think that maybe this story…..isn't so fictional after all?"

"Well….the best stories are the ones that are based off of real life." I defended, "Aren't they?"

"I suppose," Jessi said, "and a good way to cope with your feelings is to write them down." I nodded in agreement. "But Eli, I'm sure that your sister loves you more than anything."

I sighed, "Then why did she leave me?"

"Oh, Eli. Jillian is probably just going through a tough phase. Don't take it personally."

"But what if she doesn't come back? What if she's not even out there anymore?"

_Most likely, that bimbo got snatched by some pervert. Right now, she's probably lying dead in an alley way, covered in semen._

I swallowed hard, "What if she's de-…."

"Oh, Eli," Jessi shook her head, "don't think like that. Jillian's gonna be ok. And as long as she's out there somewhere, she'll come home." I kinda half-smiled at her, even thought it was clear that I didn't feel much better. "It's gonna be ok, I promise." Jessi smiled at me. I nodded, sadly. She sighed and patted me on the back. "So," she said, changing the subject, "what were we talking about yesterday?"

"We were talking about Jillian and her eating problem." I reminded her.

"Oh right, you never finished that story." Jessi readied her pen and her notepad, "Please continue."

I nodded, gathering all my thoughts and trying to remember where I left off, "Ok…."

_I sat in the Chives auditorium and listened as Amanda finished up her speech. "So vote for Stone and you won't be alone!" She concluded. The clapping afterwards was painfully silent and some people were even snickering. Except there were two girls in the front row, wearing 'Vote Amanda' t-shirts, and they started cheering and clapping extra loud as if they could fill the silence. _

_Amanda left the podium and the principal came up to speak, "Thanks Amanda. Ok, up next, Jillian Goldsworthy will be making her speech." The auditorium suddenly came to life and everyone was cheering and clapping, including me. Amanda, who was sitting in a seat off to the side, gave a look of disapproval and crossed her legs and her arms. Jillian stepped up to the podium._

_But then I heard another sound, "Mrrrooooooo!" I looked at the row in front of me and saw the two 'Vote Amanda' girls laughing. One of them was holding one of those cylinder mooing noise makers that babies play with. She turned it upside down and it made the noise again, "Mrrrooooooo!" Bitches. I took my gum out of my mouth and flicked it into that girls' hair._

_There was something off about Jillian. She looked like maybe she didn't get enough sleep or something. Maybe she was sick. Jillian spread the papers out on the podium and began. __"Um hey every__one." Jillian smiled slightly, "First-more, as you know, a cleaner school leads to a better edumacation, so yeah, let's stop littering and making this place look like a shit hole." All the students started laughing and eventually broke out into another round of applause, and a few gasps came from the teachers. "I think it's important that we have cleaner bathrooms too. Also, maybe we should also have quieter toilets, because when they flush they're really loud and sometimes they scare me." That little comment also earned a few chuckles. "And also, we should have longer curfews. We don't have enough time to go out with our friends and socialize. I think we're responsible enough to handle that." I was proud of Jillian. She was doing really well so far. "And farther-more," she continued, "we need to do something about those dorm rooms. It's very important that we…." She trailed off and rubbed her forehead, "Um….uh, I'm sorry." Now she really didn't look too good._

"_What's wrong?" I heard one of the 'Vote Amanda' girls mutter, "Did they forget to spell one of the words phonetically?" Both of them started laughing. I didn't care if you weren't supposed to hit a girl. I was ready to beat these bitches down._

"_So," Jillian continued, "about the dorms…..we need to…..have…..some…" And then, Jillian slunk down and fell to the floor with a thud. Everyone began gasping and standing up in their seats to get a closer look. Within one second, four teachers were at the podium, crowded around Jillian. My heart stopped as I watched the scene._

_Suddenly, that Amanda came prancing over to meet her friends. She gave one of the girls a weird look, "Ok, hun, you have something really gross in your hair." _

_The girl reached in the back of her head and her fingers found the wad of gum. She held it up and her face turned sickly, "EWWWW! What the freak?"_

"_Hey guys," the frumpy ginger smirked, "I guess Mi__ss beauty queen has been drinking again. Not very presidential if you ask me." They all started laughing. _

_That was it._

_I climbed over the seat and got right in their faces, "Hey, you dumb-ass bitches better shut your mouths, because at this point I'm not afraid to SMACK them shut!"_

_The three of them looked at each other and then back at me. Amanda smirked at me. "Well, well, well…and who are YOU?" She said in a sultry voice._

"_I'm Jillian's BROTHER." I stated._

"_You're her brother?" She confirmed, "Well….yo__u certainly are the BILF."_

_I raised an eyebrow at her, "BILF?"_

"_You know…." She giggled, "Brother I'd Like To…."_

"_O-ok!" I stopped her, "I get it now. Yeah, well I'm not interested and I have a girlfriend. And also, you guys are fugly."_

_Amanda's ignored me, "So you're Eli."_

"_Eli?" One of the other girls said, "What a SEXY name."_

"_It suits you perfectly." The third girl winked. She then licked her lips in a futile attempt to look sexy. I was ready to barf._

"_Well," I said, "anyway, you better stop trying to s__crew around with my sister, because when you screw around with my sister, you screw around with ME. Oh….and you do not wanna screw around with me."_

"_I wanna screw around with you." Amanda smirked, twirling her orange hair in her finger._

_I shuttered. Then I looked over at the other girl and smirked, "Oh and by the way, good luck getting out that wad of gum I stuck in your hair._

_The girl smiled and held up my gum, "I already did. Want it back?"_

"_Please," I scoffed, "why would I want to put something in my mouth that's been in your disgusting hair?"_

"_Well….do you have something you wanna put in MY mouth?" She asked seductively. All three girls were giggling._

"_Ughhh!" I shuttered again. "Yeah…..in your perverted, twisted dreams."_

"_I'll take the gum!" The other g__irl piped up, taking the wad of gum, "I bet from being in your mouth, it tastes like emo hotness." She popped the gum in her mouth and began to chew it._

"_Ok….gross!" I gagged. I ran out of the auditorium and went down the hallway to the nurse's office. When I got there, I saw Jillian sitting on the cot with a juice box in her hand. "Jill!" I sat next to her and put my arm around her, "Are you ok?" She nodded and took a sip of her juice box. "What happened?"_

"_I guess I fainted." She shrugged._

_I gave her a questioning look, "You haven't been drinking have you?"_

"_No!"_

_I waved my hand in front of her face just to be sure. Her eyes looked normal. "Ok, so if you weren't drinking, what do you think happened?"_

"_I don't know…." she said, "Maybe I was just nervous. They said I could finish my speech on Monday."_

_Then the nurse came over, "Are you starting to feel better, hun?"_

"_I guess so." She said, "I'm still a little queasy."_

"_Have you eaten anything today?"_

_Jillian suddenly looked nervous. She bit her lip and looked down at the floor, "Um…..not exactly."_

"_Hang on. I'll get you some crackers." The nurse went into her little cabinet and pulled out a bag of saltines._

"_Oh, that's ok….I'm not hungry."_

"_But you need to eat something." The nurse insisted, "It's not good to go all day without eating." Jillian nodded and took two crackers from her. She took a tiny nibble out of one of them. "Good girl." The nurse said, "I'll be right back." When she walked out of the office, Jillian spit the crackers out into the waste basket._

_I crossed my arms, "Jillian, eat your crackers."_

"_No….I-I'm not hungry." She said._

"_Jillian, that's silly!" I told her, "You fainted because you haven't eaten all day!"_

"_No….." She twiddled her thumbs, "I was just….nervous, that's all."_

"_Jill…." I studied__ her face and her body. She was paler than ever and even thinner than she was last week. "Have you not been eating?"_

"_No!" She said, defensively, "Why would you think that?"_

"_Because I haven't been seeing you eat lately. You're always making up excuses not to eat and…" My eyes filled with concern, "Jillian….you're not anorexic, are you?"_

"_I'm not anorexic!" Jillian defended, "Why would you think I'm anorexic? I'm anything BUT anorexic!" She then gave me a confused look, "What does 'anorexic' mean?"_

_I explained, "It means that you stop eating because you're so worried about your weight and you eventually make yourself sick. Look Jillian, if this is about what Amanda said, I just wanna let you know that you are NOT fat. She's just jealous because she knows that you're gonna win the elections. No one likes her. She ugly and disgusting and her little girlfriends aren't any more attractive than her." I shuttered, remembering a few minutes ago when they all were trying to flirt with me._

"_I don't care about what Amanda said." She said, unconvincingly._

"_Then why aren't you eating?" I asked her._

"_I am!"_

"_No you're not."_

"_Yeah!" She protested, "I am!"_

"_Fine." I went into my mom's purse next to me and pulled out a grilled cheese wrapped in tin foil, "Cece got this for y__ou to eat later." Jillian hesitantly took the sandwich from me. She unwrapped the tin foil and studied the contents. "Well?" I raised an eyebrow at her, "Are you gonna eat it?"_

_Jillian looked at me then back at the sandwich. Finally, she took a bite out of the sandwich, "See?" she muffled, "Eating."_

"_Good girl." I smiled, although I could not shake my suspicion. Jillian took another bite and swallowed it wit__h a disturbed look on her face._

Jessi looked at me, intrigued by my story. Suddenly her watch beeped. She looked down at it, "Oh my, we're out of time." I got up to leave. "Well, Eli, it was very nice talking to you today. I hope we can finish talking about what we were today tomorrow." I nodded. "Oh, and I hope you find your sister."

I sighed, "Me too."

* * *

><p>I pulled into The Dot to pick Clare up, as I had promised her early this morning. I looked to see if I could spot her in the window. Sure enough, there she was, standing in the window talking to someone. Then, I saw who she was talking to….no, she wouldn't….<p>

"FITZ!" I gritted my teeth and my eyes widened. What part of 'stay away from Fitz did Clare not get? I sat there and wondered if this was some kind of a joke. I knew exactly what was going on. Fitz was _stalking _her.

_Not on my watch._

I hopped out of Morty, slamming the door behind me. I stormed into the building and saw Fitz standing there with Clare. I got in between the two of them and faced Fitz, "Get away from her!" I shouted at him.

"Eli, chill." He said.

I shoved him, "Back off, I'm serious!"

Fitz put his hands up in defeat, "Ok."

I turned to Clare, "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm _fine_!" She said, giving me a look like I was stupid, "Fitz _works _here. We were just talking."

I turned back to Fitz, "About what? Tell me!"

"I have something to tell you." Fitz explained, "Where's Jillian?"

"Why?" I huffed, "Because you missed her with the knife last time?"

"No…." Fitz looked hurt, "I wanted to tell you guys that I'm sorry about Vegas Night. I need to make things right with all of you, especially Jillian. Where is she?"

I glared at him, "Jillian is not here."

Fitz gave me a confused look, "Ok then…..do you know when she's _gonna_ be here?"

I took the flyer out of my pocket, "Jillian is _missing_!" Fitz took the flyer and looked at it. He stood there speechless. "She's been missing for days now!"

"W-What?" Fitz looked puzzled, as he studied the flyer in front of him, "But…..how?"

"She disappeared from our house in the middle of the night and when we woke up, she was gone." I reached into my pocket and clutched the choker in my hand.

"Oh my god….." Fitz looked remorseful, "Eli…..I had no idea. I-I feel awful." I rolled my eyes. I had to admit, his acting was pretty good. "Look, I need to help you find her. I need to know that she's safe. Otherwise…..I'll never be able to forgive myself."

"Ohhhhh! Pfffft!" I mocked, "Give me a break….."

"I'm serious, Eli." Fitz said to me, "I'm really sorry….about everything. I never meant to hurt either one of you. I need you to forgive me. And as for Jillian, I'll be praying for her. Wherever she is….I want her to be safe."

"Whatever." I grumbled, heading for the door.

Clare grabbed my arm and pulled me back, "Fitz apologizes and offers to help find Jillian, and that's all you can say?"

"Clare I have nothing to say to him." I said through gritted teeth, "Now are you coming with me or not?"

Clare looked one last time at Fitz, and then down at the floor, "Ok, let's go." She mumbled. I escorted her out the door and glared at Fitz. He stared back at me with those innocent puppy dog eyes. Pathetic.


	11. Don't let me down

_**Hey guys! I'm so soo soooooo sooooooo sorry it's been a few weeks! Oh god, please don't hate me! Please tell me you don't hate me!**_

_**Ok, so MERRY CHRISTMAS and here's the next chapter. Consider it a Christmas present from me. ;D You know what I would like in return? REVIEWS! PLEASE REVIEW! :DDDD lol!**_

**Eli's POV**

After I dropped off Clare, I quickly drove back home. I pulled into the driveway, which was vacant. What I would give to see Jillian's silver convertible blocking the way again. I went inside the house and found Bullfrog and Cece sitting on the couch with the phone sitting on the table.

"Well, thank you for helping us officer." Cece said, looking at the phone.

"_My pleasure." _The police officer on the phone said, _"I'll be sure to keep you posted. Bye now.__"_

Bullfrog took the phone off the table and hit the button to hang up. "Bullfrog, Cece." I greeted them.

The two of them looked up. "Oh, hey baby-boy." Cece smiled at me, but with a saddened vibe.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Cece sighed, "Baby….you know that when Jillian went missing, she took her car with her, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well….." She continued, "We've had the police search for her car by the license plate…..but they haven't found anything yet. They've been searching everywhere."

"But….they have _clues_, right?" I looked interrogatingly at both of them, "Right?" They still didn't say anything. "RIGHT?"

Cece and Bullfrog looked sadly at each other. "Baby," Cece put a hand on my shoulder, "They'll find her. I know it."

"Yeah!" I huffed, "They'll find her _body_, after it's been run over by a car, or murdered or raped, or…."

"Now, Eli….don't say that. We have to think positive." However, a few tears began to form in her eyes. She pulled me into a hug, "Eli, I promise everything will be ok again."

I awkwardly pulled away from her, "Right of course it will. I, uh….I think I should work on my story now." Cece nodded. I walked upstairs and sauntered down the hallway. I stood in the doorway of Jillian's bedroom. Everything had been just as she left it…..undisturbed. I couldn't exactly say that she left _me_ the same way. I slowly walked into her room and wandered around. Then, I noticed a little piece of paper or something sticking out from the bottom of Jillian's pillow. Curious, I reached under her pillow and pulled it out. It was the picture of her when she was five. Then one that I found out of mom's old scrapbook. She still had it. I had given it to her that morning after the 'A Night in Vegas' dance…

_"Look at this picture I found." I told her._

_Her eyes wandered down to the picture that I was holding, "Is that me?" I smiled handing her the picture. She held it up and looked at it. "Why do you like this picture so much?"_

_"Because…" I said, "I know that's the real you." She looked up at me curiously. I was serious, though. "That's the Jillian that I know. The one that didn't drink and wear a lot of makeup."_

_Jillian shook her head, "That's not the real me…not anymore. Everyone knows it."_

_"Everyone else just doesn't know the real you." I told her, "But I do." Everything was silent for a moment. Finally Jillian spoke up again._

_"Eli…..?"_

_"What?"_

_She sighed, "Why did you jump in front of the knife for me?" I didn't answer at first. "You know…you could have gotten __killed__."_

_"Jillian…" I started, "when I saw Fitz drag you in with that knife…all I could think about was saving you. I didn't care what happened to me."_

_"But Eli….."_

_I ignored her and continued, "I already killed one person that I loved, and I wasn't about to kill another one."_

_Jillian looked at me confused, "But….you didn't….Fitz was the one who…."_

_"No, Jill," I interrupted, "It's my fault for starting up with Fitz in the first place. I let you get sucked into this." I shook my head, "I always end up hurting the people I love. If Fitz had stabbed me…all of that would be over."_

_"Eli, what are you talking about? None of this was your fault. It was nobody's fault but Fitz's! He got what he deserved! And you should not have jumped in front of that knife! I could have handled it!"_

_"It __was__ my fault! And I wasn't gonna let Fitz come at you with that knife!"_

_Jillian crossed her arms, "Why?"_

_"Because…" I put my arm around her, "You're my sister and my best friend, and if anything ever happened to you I would be devastated. I would do anything to protect you."_

_Jillian smiled, "You really mean that?" I smirked in response, pulling her into a hug. "Thanks, Eli." She said hugging me back, "And I promise you'll never need to risk your life for me, because I'm not getting into any more trouble."_

Next thing I knew, two little water droplets had fallen onto the picture. With tears streaming down my face, I suddenly became enraged, "You LIAR!" I yelled at the picture, "How could you! Why would you leave me?" Finally, I completely broke down and collapsed onto her bed. I brought my knees to my chest and buried my face in her pillow. Even her pillow smelled like her, almost as if she was still here. But she wasn't. That second reminder that Jillian was gone brought more tears into my eyes. I reached into my pocket and pulled out Jillian's choker necklace. I picked it up by the black ribbon and twirled it back and forth, watching the little scarlet letter spin around and around. It glimmered as I looked at it through my blurry, tear-filled eyes. I then wondered how she could have left this behind. Jillian and this necklace were inseparable. All I knew was that this little necklace was like my last little bit of hope that Jillian was still out there somewhere.

* * *

><p>"Time to wake up, kiddo." I heard my dad's voice. I turned over in the bed a few times and my eyes blinked open. I looked around and realized that I had fallen asleep in Jillian's room.<p>

Bullfrog gave me a pouty smile. He walked over and sat on the edge of Jillian's bed, "I'm worried about her too, sport. Cece and I both are."

I slowly sat up in Jillian's bed and rubbed my eyes with my fists. I opened up one of my hands and realized that it was still holding Jillian's choker. I studied the necklace in my hand, fearing that just looking at it would be enough to get me to break down again. "Dad…what if Jillian's not out there anymore?"

"Eli, don't think like that." Sadness filled Bullfrog's eyes, "The police are gonna find her."

"But how come they haven't found her yet?"

Bullfrog was silent for a few seconds. He closed his eyes and shook his head, "Eli…..they're doing the best they can. We're just gonna have to hope….." His voice trailed off. Then, he lifted his head and looked at me, "Tell you what….how about tonight we go out and we look for Jillian ourselves."

I looked curiously at him, "You mean it? You think we could really find her?"

"No one knows Jillian better than we do, Eli." He shrugged, "So what do you say?"

My lips spread into a small smile, "Yeah."

"It's gonna be ok." My dad smiled and ruffled my hair, "Now, start to get ready for school. You don't wanna be late." I nodded and he left my room. I looked at the clock and realized that I actually had an hour before I had to start getting ready. I decided to go into my room and check my email on my lap top. I sat down at my desk and opened up my laptop. I saw that I had five new messages. Two messages were just junk mail and another two were Twitter updates. The latest email was from Clare. I clicked an opened it.

_Hey Eli. I read your story so far. I think it's really good. I just made a few changes. You don't have to use them, but just a few suggestions to give it more of a kick. The story is attached in a word document. I hope you like it._

_P.S. Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I love you. Please forgive me._

I read over Clare's email and smiled. I clicked on the attachment that she sent me of the story, _Stalker Angel_ I was now calling it. The file opened and I clicked on the little icon in the corner to print it out. I spent a half an hour reading the first part of the story with Clare's annotations. After a while, I realized that I didn't have as much time as I thought. I figured I'd read the rest at school. I put the packet in my book bag and went and got dressed for school. I grabbed my things and ran downstairs into the kitchen. Cece was almost done making breakfast and Bullfrog was watching the news on the TV. Things had been very quiet ever since Jillian went missing. I missed Cece's off-key humming while she made breakfast and Bullfrog yelling back at the news man on the TV, as if the news man could actually hear him. Now, Cece just silently stirred the contents of the pan while Bullfrog blankly stared at the TV screen without saying a word.

_And in other news….._ The man on the TV announced, _the search for Jillian Hannah Goldsworthy continues. The young girl has been missing for almost a week now and no clues to where she could be have been found. Full story when we get back._

Bullfrog grabbed the remote off the table and turned the TV off, leaving the kitchen now completely silent, except for the crackling of the pan on the stove. Bullfrog cleared his throat, "Well…..I better be heading down to the station. I can't leave my audience listening to old Dahvie droning on forever." He forced out a chuckled.

"Yeah, I need to get to school." I told them.

"Wait," Cece said, "what about breakfast?"

"Oh….I'm not hungry." I told her.

"Ok then, see you after school."

I grumbled in response and headed out the door.

* * *

><p>I was the first one in Mrs. Dawes class. I sat down at my desk and pulled out the <em>Stalker Angel<em> packet. I began to read over Clare's work. She didn't change anything too drastically, but what she did change was very good. I was impressed. Especially with the ending she put in. I had put a pretty lousy ending to my story, hoping that when I showed it to Clare, she would be able to work her magic. This is what she came up with:

"**I don't know, Malcolm." Rachel said in a shaky voice, "Maybe Stalker Angel will give up and leave us alone once and for all."**

"**He's never gonna stop!" Malcolm warned, "He won't stop until he gets what he wants! YOU!"**

**Rachel was silent for a few moments, "What do we do then?"**

"**We'll run away!" Malcolm told her, "It's the only way I can protect you from him."**

"**Where will we go?" Rachel asked him.**

"**Where ever we can think of."**

"**But wait…..what about…" Rachel was afraid to even bring up her name, on account of the circumstances, "Rarity?" Her voice was now almost a whisper.**

**Malcolm fought back tears, "We'll….we'll just have to forget about her."**

**As if it were from his mouth to god's ears, suddenly a familiar voice sounded in the distance, "Malcolm?" Malcolm didn't turn around at first, thinking it was only his imagination. But then the voice spoke again, and this time it was much closer, "Malcolm!"**

**Malcolm turned around, only to see that brunette girl, with that porcelain face and those perfect china doll features****.**** At first, he couldn't believe his own eyes. He thought he might be hallucinating out of longing. Rarity grabbed her brother by the shoulders, "Malcolm! It's me! Please, say something to me!"**

**Malcolm studied the girl in front of him for a few more moments. And then finally, it all came out of him like an erupting volcano, ****"You left me!" Malcolm screamed at Rarity, "How could you? You broke my hea****rt! You had me worried sick!"**

"**I-I'm sorry….." Rarity cowered into the corner.**

Suddenly I noticed Clare standing in the doorway of Mrs. Dawes room. I looked back down and continued to read. Clare came up behind me. She sighed, "About last night…..me talking to Fitz…..I know it freaked you out and I'm sorry."

"It's ok…." To be honest, I was more wrapped up in the story than what Clare was saying right now.

"Well….then what is it?" Clare was baffled by my silence, "Do you not like my edit on _Stalker Angel_?"

"Shhh…." I shushed her, "I'm reading." I continued to read:

**Malcolm stared at him sister. She was pale and gaunt and all the color had left her cheeks. She had been out living on the streets without much to eat. Malcolm took one look in his sister's dulled eyes and immediately, tears filled his own, "Oh, Rarity! I'm so glad you're home!" Malcolm grabbed her and the two of them crushed each other into a hug.**

"**I love you." Rarity told Malcolm.**

**Malcolm nodded, "I love you too, sis."**

I was so amazed with Clare's edit, that I had no words at first. "Did I add too much?" Clare asked me. I didn't say anything at first. "Oh I did add too much. You hate it. I wrecked your horror story!"

I closed the packet on my desk and stood up to face Clare, "Honestly," I told her, "it's _way_ better! I'm super impressed, Clare!"

Clare smiled, "Really?" She grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, "I am _so _glad to hear you say that! And you know, you have nothing to worry about. No one is gonna come between us. I promise."

I smirked, "Let's promise to not fight again."

Clare gave me a quick kiss on the lips, just before the bell rang.

_Nothing will ever tear us apart._

* * *

><p>As I packed up my locker to go home, I looked down the hall and saw a tall blonde boy tromping towards me. He did not look happy. He approached me and got right up in my face, "IDIOOOT!" He screamed at me.<p>

I gave him a confused look, "I'm sorry?"

The blonde boy grabbed me and shoved me up against the lockers. After looking at him for a bit, I finally recognized him. He was that crazy guy from Jillian's anger management seminar. The one who's on YouTube all the time. "Your freaking sister hasn't been in anger management class! We all have to go! Why the hell does she get to skip out?"

"Well…." I began to answer.

"WHY?" He demanded once more, "She's a freaking fag! She's freaking betraying us!"

"Um, Steven?" I interrupted.

"WHAT?" He yelled at me, tightening his grip.

"Jillian….." I sighed, "Jillian went missing about five days ago. She ran away. She's gone." I was getting pretty tired of having to explain that to everyone. Every time I even say her name anymore, I feel like my insides are gonna explode. "Now, would you be so kind as to let go of my throat?"

Steven smirked as he let go of his grip on me, "Oh my god…..she ran away?" I nodded. "That's so gay, it's not even funny. What are you talking about?"

"Well….it's a bit personal." I told him honestly, "I rather not talk about it."

"Oh yeah!" He mocked, "You gay fags are keeping your little gay secrets! You're so gay! Freaking fag!"

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow at him, "I'm not the one who shoved a remote control up my ass."

Suddenly, Steven's face turned angry again, "I. DID. NOT! They made freaking LOOK like I did! Freaking fags!"

I grabbed my bag and gave Steven a good pat on the back, "Good chat. Good chat."

"Yeah! Ok!" Steven shouted at me as I walked away from him, "You walk away and find that slut sister of yours, before she gets into trouble."

I stopped in my tracks and turned back around on my heel, "Pardon?"

"Your sister just ran away so she could freaking betray us! All she wants to do is tramp around the streets and sleep with as many guys as possible. You do know what happens to little girls who run away to live out on the streets, right? They become prostitutes and eventually get raped or murdered….or both. These are the sad facts of life, fag!"

"Oh really…." I stepped towards him and rolled up the sleeves on my jacket, "Well you're about to look even more insane, because you're not gonna have any teeth!" I lunged at him, but was pulled back by someone.

"Eli! Stop!" Adam grabbed my shoulders and turned me around.

"Yeah!" Steven mocked, "Freaking fag one is helping freaking fag two! See you fags later!" Steven tromped back down the hall.

Adam sighed, "Starting fights with insane people? Really, Eli?"

"He started up with me!" I protested.

"Look, Eli," Adam rested his arm on my shoulder, "I know you're freaked out about Jillian. I'm worried about her too. Man….I can't stop thinking about her, somewhere out there all alone." I gave Adam a look. Adam's eyes moved to the floor, "Not helping?"

I smiled at him, "It's ok. I know what you mean. Tonight, my dad and I are gonna go out and look for her."

The final bell for the day rang. Adam picked up his books and gave me a small smile, "Good luck."

"Thanks." I picked up my book bag and walked outside.

When I got home, I saw a police car in the driveway, along with another brown car. When I got inside the house, I saw two police men and a guy in a uniform talking to my parents. Cece looked over at me when I came inside, "Oh there you are." Bullfrog and the three men looked over at me as well. "Detective, this is my son, Eli."

"Hello, Eli." The man in the uniform walked over to me, "I am Detective Parker." He shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you." I told him.

"Sit down with us, Eli." Bullfrog told me.

I sat down with them and the police men pulled out a bag, "Now, Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy." The officer said, "We finally found some clues." He pulled something out of the bag, "We found these near a dumpster in an alley way."

"That's reassuring….." I mumbled.

"Take a look at these." The police handed the contents to Cece and Bullfrog. They held them up.

"Jillian's license plates!" Cece said, surprised.

"How did you find these?" Bullfrog asked.

"They were not too far from here." The detective explained, "It looks like someone pulled them off."

I suddenly got worried. Jillian would not be smart enough to know that the police would be looking for her by her license plates, no offense to her. "Wait," I asked the detective, "How do you know someone else didn't rip off the license plates. I mean, would she even think to do that on her own?" Bullfrog and Cece looked at each other. The police apparently didn't know how….uh….intellectually challenged she was.

The detective shrugged, "We don't know what this could mean yet, but thanks to these license plates, we're on to something now."

"But wait," Cece said, "I just don't understand…why would Jillian tear off her license plates?"

"Wait," Bullfrog intervened, "Listen to what my son said. What if she wasn't the one who ripped them off?"

Suddenly, my heart stopped, as a very different scenario played out in my head. Jillian is driving down the road at a ridiculous speed. All sorts of emotions are running through her head. As the emotions swirl in her head, her pace picks up. She's reckless and before she knows it, her wheels have lost contact with the pavement. She's quickly gliding just above the surface of the road. Suddenly, a big truck pulls out in front of her. Before she can even think, she and the truck collide. Bits and pieces of the tiny convertible fly everywhere…..including her two license plates. The car is totaled. So is she.

The detective looked curiously at me, "Are you ok, son?"

"Holy shit…..." I muttered, "What if she crashed?" Bullfrog and Cece's eyes both widened, as they considered the possibility. The three gentlemen looked at each other.

"Er…the plates would be damaged if that happened, right?" One officer said.

The other officer thought for a few seconds, "Well…..not necessarily." Cece gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Now now! Let's not jump to conclusions!" The detective reassured, "We don't know yet what could have happened. But thanks to this evidence, we now have a better chance of finding your daughter."

One of the officers looked at his watch, "Well, were gonna go now and take this back to the lab for examination." He took the two license plates and gave them to the detective.

The detective took the plates and put them into a big plastic bag for evidence. "Good day to you all." When the three men left, I sauntered up the stairs without saying a word to my parents. I could not bear to look at the devastation on their faces any longer. I went up to my room and lay down flat on my bed. Suddenly, I heard a thunder noise outside, then the pitter-patter of rain drops on the roof. I couldn't take this any longer. Whenever I had a problem, no matter how bad, I would always turn to Jillian for comfort. She may not have always had the best problem solving ideas, but what mattered was that she was always there for me. She would never betray me. Except the frustrating thing now was that I obviously could not turn to her for help. But there was one other person I could talk to right now. I picked up my cellphone and dialed Clare's home number.

"Eli?"

"Clare…." I sighed. It was so nice to hear her voice.

"Hi. What's up?"

"I just need to talk to someone." I told her.

"Is everything ok?"

"Well…..they found some evidence on Jillian."

"What kind of evidence?"

My voice was almost a whisper now. "They found her license plates in an alley way near a dumpster."

Clare was silent for a few seconds. "What…..what do they think….."

"I don't know." I told her honestly, "They said they have a better chance of finding her now….." I swallowed hard, "….that is if she's out there." I looked outside at the rain coming down. I suddenly began to worry about Jillian out there in the rain. A seventeen year old girl driving around in an unidentified silver convertible…..possibly with the top down. I wondered if she would remember to put it up when it rains.

_I don't understand why I'm getting all wet! _I imagined Jillian thinking, as she sat in her convertible with the top down, _I closed all the doors! _

She could get sick. Forget rain. What if someone wanted to kidnap her? If she's driving around exposed like that, someone could just reach into the car and grab her.

"Eli? Are you still there?" Clare snapped me out of all my bad thoughts.

"Oh, I'm sorry…..this bad weather is making me even more nervous." I admitted.

"Yeah," Clare agreed, "It's like all of a sudden, the sky's opened up. It should put you in the mood to finish that horror story."

"Actually, I was planning on finishing this afternoon." I told her.

"Well, _if_ you finish, then you can come over."

"Anything to get my mind off all of this Jillian drama." I heard Clare's doorbell ring in the background. "Well," I continued, "I guess maybe the drama will help me think up a couple of real crushers. Eh?" I chuckled a bit.

Suddenly, the tone of Clare's voice changed, "Um…..I'll call you right back, ok?"

"Oh ok. I'll see you later."

"Ok bye."

I hung up the phone. I guess Clare had Alli over for a study date or something. I shrugged and walked over to my computer. I opened it up and began to read over my story so far, including Clare's edits:

"**You left me!" Malcolm screamed at Rarity, "How could you? You broke my heart! You had me worried sick!"**

"**I-I'm sorry….." Rarity cowered into the corner.**

**Malcolm stared at him sister. She was pale and gaunt and all the color had left her cheeks. She had been out living on the streets without much to eat. Malcolm took one look in his sister's dulled eyes and immediately, tears filled his own, "Oh, Rarity! I'm so glad you're home!" Malcolm grabbed her and the two of them crushed each other into a hug.**

"**I love you." Rarity told Malcolm.**

**Malcolm nodded, "I love you too, sis."**

I chuckled darkly and shook my head. This was the one part of the story where I just could not agree with Clare's annotations. Clare-bear had a good thing for romance, but I didn't think she got the concept of horror. I read over her work again carefully….

"**You left me!" Malcolm screamed a****t Rarity, "How could you? You broke my heart! You had me worried sick!"**

"**I-I'm sorry….." Rarity cowered into the corner.**

**Malcolm stared at him sister. She was pale and gaunt and all the color had left her cheeks. She had been out living on the streets without much to eat. Malcolm took one look in his sister's dulled eyes…**

I sat back in my chair and thought some more. What could I do to make this more horrific? I swiveled around in my chair a little, listening to the rain and the thunder outside. I liked how the weather outside almost set the mood for what I felt like writing. I placed my hands back onto my keyboard and began a little bit of typey-typey:

…**..and then his eyes filled with rage, "You promised that you would never put yourself in danger again! Y****ou promised me, Rarity!" Malcolm could no longer contain his anger. His hand shot out and slapped Rarity across the face. **

**She fell to the floor, with her hand over her now bleeding lip. "Malcolm, please!" She cried, "Please don't do this…..I love you."**

"**And I love you….." he told her, "which is why I'm doing this for your own good." Before the young harlot could say much more, Malcolm threw his arm around her waist and dragged her to the top of the basement steps. With one good shove from Malcolm, Rarity went tumbling down the stairs. Malcolm ran down after her and began to bind her arms and legs with ropes. The next thing that Rarity knew, she was kneeling down facing the wall with her hands and her ankles tied up behind her. Malcolm smirked sinisterly as he walked torwards her with a whip in his hand, "This will teach you to run away from me." With one flick of his wrist, the tip of the whip jumped up and sliced across the girl's backside. She yelped out in pain…**

I smirked to myself as I finished the last bits of my story. This was all so good, it wasn't even funny. I couldn't wait to show it to Clare. I printed out the entire story and stuffed it in my bag. I ran out the door and drove to Clare's house. It was still raining outside when I got there. I stepped out of my hearse and made a dash from the curb to the roofed stoop of Clare's front door. I knocked on the door. "Clare, it's me." I called.

"Eli….." Clare called back, "Just one second."

Except I couldn't even wait one second. I was as eager as an impatient small child to show Clare my final _Stalker Angel_ story. I turned the knob and excitedly burst through the door, "You are looking at a literary master…" My voice trailed off and my mouth hung open as my eyes fell upon…_him_.There he was, standing in the middle of the den with Clare.

"Hey, Eli." Fitz greeted me in a mumble. I remained speechless. I wondered if this was actually happening.

Clare immediately began to rationalize, "Fitz just showed up on my doorstep all beaten up. He's having problems at home."

I gritted my teeth, "Sure, _more_ lies! Why do _you_ care?"

"Because anyone with a heart tries to help people when they're in trouble!"

"What are you saying?" I demanded, "That I'm some heartless monster?"

"Sometimes." Clare said coldly. My heart dropped into my stomach as silence filled the room. Clare's facial expression almost looked sorry for saying that, but regardless she elaborated, "How can you blame Fitz for Jillian's disappearance?" Aggression leaked into her voice, "Jillian is the one who decided to go bat poop on everybody! And then you guys had that stupid fight. I don't even _wanna_ know how that all went down!"

"You know what?" I interrupted her, "Jillian and I may fight sometimes. But whenever I have a problem with anyone else, Jillian is _always_ by my side! She's never betrayed me _ever_! She's always ready to fight for me, no matter what it is. She would _never_ side against me!" Tears filled my eyes, "Unlike you apparently have."

"Look, Eli…." Fitz began.

I turned to Fitz with almost teary eyes, "I have nothing to say to you." I growled at him with the last amount of dignity I could muster. Then I stormed out the door.

"Me and Clare have a special connection!" I heard him yell out after me. That did it. I knew Fitz was trying to steal Clare away from me. Tears fell down my cheeks as I ran out to Morty. I opened up the driver's seat door and threw myself in, slamming the door hard enough so the entire vehicle shook.

I furiously banged my fists on the steering wheel, "AHHHHHH!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. It was all I could think to do at the moment. Finally, I exhaled slowly, with my fists still on the steering wheel. I let myself fall forward and I pressed my forehead to the top of the wheel, with my arms covering my head. I sat there alone and cried for what seemed like forever. Next thing I knew, I heard the clicking of the passenger's seat door opening and the vehicle shook as I heard the door shut again.

"I know you're mad but just let me explain….." Clare's voice said, "I didn't mean it when I said you were heartless."

"It's ok." I slowly lifted my head up, revealing my tear-stained face, "I deserve it." I sat back in my seat and blinked away some of the tears, "I don't wanna lose you, Clare."

Clare moved closer to me and put her arm around me, "You're not going to."

"I just feel like you're slipping away and…." I continued to sob, "….I can't stop it. First Julia…..now Jillian…" Clare tightened her grip on me as I continued to fall apart, "Don't leave me, ok? Please…" I looked at Clare, "Promise me, ok? Just promise me."

"Ok." Clare said in a whisper. She pulled me into her chest and I rested my head on her shoulder. She held me in her arms as tears continued to trickle down my cheeks. Clare wasn't gonna leave me. I needed her by my side now more than ever.

* * *

><p>That night, I drove Morty through the rainy streets and looked out all the windows to see if there was any sign of Jillian. Bullfrog, who was sitting in the passenger's seat, looked around as well. "I don't get it….." I breathed, "We've practically searched this entire town. Where could she be?"<p>

My dad sighed and averted his gaze from the drippy window, "Don't worry, kiddo. We're not giving up until we find her. Even if we have to continue tomorrow."

"No!" I practically shouted at him, "We're gonna find her tonight!"

"Look, Eli, it's been four hours already. We'll stay out as late as we can….." I pulled over near the curb. "Eli, what are you doing?"

Ignoring my dad, I stepped out of the hearse. I ran out into the streets and began to desperately search. "JILLIAN!" I yelled over the loud pitter-pattering of the rain falling onto the road, "JILLIAN!"

"Eli?" I heard. I whipped around and standing across the street from me, I saw a girl with long brunette hair.

I cocked my head to the side, "Jillian?"

The girl ran torwards me, "Eli, there you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

Suddenly, a wave of happiness washed over me, "Jillian!" I ran up to her and threw my arms around her, "Oh, Jillian! I was so worried!" I realized that she wasn't hugging me back. I pulled away, only to find an unfamiliar face staring back at me. My heart sunk as my arms slowly slid off of the strange girl's shoulders. She glared horrified at me.

A little boy, who looked to be around six years old, walked up to her, "Mommy, I'm right here!"

The woman that I had mistook for Jillian grabbed the little boy by the hand, "Let's go, Elijah." She insisted, running off with the little boy. Then I heard her whisper, "So many creeps in this city." With that, all my dignity and hope was torn to shreds. I stood there in the middle of the street, with my soaking wet bangs mixing with my tears. Sheets of rain continued to fall from the sky and soak me through my clothes. I ran up to a tin garbage can at the corner of the street and furiously kicked it over. All sorts of emotions were swirling through my head now. I stormed out into the middle of the street and stamped down hard in the puddles of rain. A few people driving towards me angrily beat their horns as they maneuvered their way around me. But I didn't give a shit. I stamped and kicked in the puddles of rain, and yanked and pulled on my hair.

"JILLIAN!" I cursed at the sky.

_**There! Happy now? Haha, jk I'm such a bad person! I'm sorry I kept y'all waiting that long! I hope everyone is still reading! Please review and let me know your still reading! I wanna know that I didn't lose any of my readers!**_


	12. The other half

**Jillian's POV**

_I was running through rainy streets. It looked like my neighborhood, but somehow it wasn't. Suddenly, it thundered. And then it began to rain…hamburgers. And mashed potatoes…..and spaghetti…..and French fries….and ice cream. Without thinking, I began to take handfuls of the food falling from the sky and I shove them in my mouth. I ran through the streets and began stuffing my face with anything I could get my hands on. And then, I began to feel a pain in the pit of my stomach, followed by feelings of regret and horror. I ran over to a little trash can sitting in the middle of the street and hovered over it. I stuck my index finger in my mouth and poked around in the back of my throat, until I hit my gag reflex. Next thing I know, everything I had eaten is upchucking itself from my body and out my mouth. Except the vomit is rainbow for some reason. It was actually kinda beautiful. I stuck my finger in the back of my throat again and began to throw up more of that beautiful rainbow vomit. The more I threw up, the more beautiful the rainbow color of my vomit got. I was actually kinda happy at first. But then, I looked up. There holding the trash can, staring back at me, was that god awful freckle face that I haven't seen since 8__th__ grade. That ugly ginger monster that started all of this. And she stood there and laughed…and laughed…..and laughed…_

I woke up in the back of my silver convertible. I looked around. It was dark out which probably meant that it was night time. I checked the time on my cellphone:

_1:12 am_

It's been like eleventeen days since I ventured off on my own. This was the first sleep I've gotten in a while. My stomach growled. Ever since I ran away, I hadn't really been eating much at all. Most of my time is spent trying to figure out where the hell I am. I had driven as far away from home as I thought I could get, but now I was thinking that I was kinda lost. Whatever. I needed something to eat. I lifted myself up and reached up front to get money out of the glove compartment. I knew that right down the street, just outside of this alleyway where I was parked, that there was a Seven Eleven or something that was open. I fumbled around to find my hoodie. I grabbed it off the floor and put it on, making sure it was zipped all the way up with the hood pulled down. That's one of the things that Vince taught me to do so I wouldn't be recognized. Vince was this guy who I met on the first or second day I was out. He first spotted me when I was parking my convertible out on the street somewhere right by The Dot:

_It was early in the morning and I had absolutely no clue where I was going or what I was doing. I already saw a bunch of posters of me hung up: _

_MISSING: JILLIAN HANNAH GOLDSWORTHY_

_I drove by The Dot and saw that it wasn't open yet. I decided to pull into the parking lot, just so I could stop for a second and think about what I was doing. Just as I pulled in, I saw a dark-skinned boy wearing sunglasses. He was sitting at one of the outside tables. He slowly removed his shades and took a good look at me._

"_Whoah…." He called to me with a smirk, "Hey there, angel-face." I ignored him and continued to sit there and think about what I should do. I considered going back home and turning myself in. It was a pathetic idea, but maybe I wasn't cut out for this whole running away thing. No. I couldn't go back home. They didn't want me there. My parents wanted to send me away to rehab anyway. I guess they couldn't even put up with one year of having me home during the school year. Their second idea was probably to just send me back to boarding school. The boy sitting at the table got up and walked over to my car. He leaned up against the door, "What brings you here, baby?"_

_I looked up at him annoyed, "Look, dude, I don't have time for this! I'm in the middle of a very sticky situation here!" As I continued to sit there, the boy paced around. He went and leaned up against the telephone pole. This telephone pole just so happened to have my poster hanging up on it. "Uh-oh…" I thought. Sure enough, this guy began to read the poster. He tore it off the pole and continued to pace back and forth as he read it. He glimpsed at me and then looked back at the poster. He stopped pacing and his eyebrows knitted together. He looked back and stared at me and then looked back down at the poster._

"_This you?" He asked me, "Jillian Hannah Goldsworthy?"_

"_No!" I immediately defended._

_But he wasn't convinced and he smirked at me, "Oh….this IS you!" He looked at me shocked, "Oh you that girl that gone missin' a day ago!"_

"_Shhh!" I hissed, "Yes! It's me! That's my problem!" I stepped out of the convertible and slammed the door behind me, "And now you need to die, because I can't get caught."_

_I went at him, but he grabbed my arms, "Whoah, angel-face! Relax! I ain't gonna rat on you!"_

_I stepped back and raised an eyebrow at him, "You're not?"_

"_No." He smiled, "As a matter of fact, I think I can help you out."_

And he did. As it turned out, Vince was a bit of a criminal. He was about my age and he was a part of a gang and he had all these tricks and secrets on how to not get caught or get into trouble. I had to say, for a criminal, he was a pretty nice guy. After talking to him for a bit, we got to know each other a little better. He helped me out a lot:

"_Alright, angel-face," He told m__e, "first of all, these have to go." He walked over to the license plate on the back of my car, "The police are trackin' you, hun, and the first thing they're gonna be lookin' for is your license plate." Without further ado, Vince grabbed hold of the license plate and gave it a good tug. It eventually came off and he threw it in the alleyway. He then walked over to the front of the car and went at the other license plate. I helped him this time. He did the same thing with this one and chucked that one into the alleyway as well._

"_Um…." I cocked my head to the side, "I don't know much about law or the Justine system, whatever that is, but I'm pretty sure it's bad to ride in a car without any license plates."_

_Vince began to crack up, except I wasn't sure why. But then he went to the trunk of his car, "I was getting to that. I have a bunch of stolen license plates in the back of my truck here. We just put these on your car and as long as a cop don't pull you over or nothin', you should be fine." After Vince helped me put on the license plates, he continued to give me some more tips, "Ok, so this is the next thing you need to do….." He walked over to my car again, "You can NOT have the top down on your convertible like it is now."_

"_Why not?" I asked him._

"_Well first of all," He explained to me, "It's not safe. If you driving at night and you decide to pull over and take a nap, someone gonna come into your car and rob you or assault you."_

_I laughed, "Oh I don't have to worry about that. I always lock the doors."_

_Vince just stared at me for a few seconds, then began to laugh, "You really not that smart, are ya angel-face? Man it is a good thing you beautiful." I was confused, except for the part about me being beautiful of course. I just took that comment and didn't say anything else. "Look, you just gotta keep the hood up cause if you driving around, someone could recognize you and turn you in to the cops. And lastly, if you need to go into a store to buy food or somethin' you obviously can't walk in just like that."_

"_Tell me about it!" I agreed, "I didn't even bother brushing my hair when I left! Plus, I'm not even wearing enough makeup now!"_

"_Oh….you crack me up, angel-face." __Vince began laughing once more, __"What you need to do is cover yourself up."_

"_Well gee…." I sa__id taken aback a bit, "I didn't know I looked THAT bad."_

_Vince continued to laughed, "Nah, girl…..what I mean is you don't wanna be recognized, and with that pretty face of yours, it gonna be very easy for you to be recognized. Do you have like a hoodie or somethin'?"_

"_Yeah," I told him, "I packed one with me."_

"_Good." He said, "You gonna need it. Also, you need a pair of sunglasses."_

_After he was done helping me out, I thanked him and we exchanged phone numbers just in case I ever needed anymore help. _

I was very lucky that I had him to help me out. Without him, I'd probably be at the police station right now, waiting for mommy to pick me up like a little four year old. Maybe one day I would call him, just to say hi. I put on a pair of dark sunglasses and slowly stepped out of the car. I would never be able to get to sleep with my stomach growling like this. I walked down the street, until I found the Seven Eleven. It was pretty empty, but there were a few people walking around still. The cashier looked like he was ready to pass out. I don't blame him. I don't think I could ever work this late. I grabbed a bagel and a bag of chips and went to the check-out counter. As the cashier was checking me out, I noticed the news on the TV hanging overhead.

_And the search continues for Jillian Goldsworthy, the 17-year-old girl that went missing over a week ago. _The newsman announced. I instinctively pulled down my hood and made sure my glasses were secure on my face. _So far, only a little evidence has been found. Police can only hope that it's enough to find the missing girl._

"Shit, dude." The cashier called to the guy in the back, as he rang me up, "That girl's been missing for a week now. Do they think she's even alive anymore?"

"Oh hell no," The guy in the back said, "That girl's probably dead on the street by now." I almost choked right there.

"Well not necessarily," The cashier told him, "she could still be out there somewhere."

"Well…." The guy in the back shook his head, "Even if she still is out there somewhere, there's no way they're gonna find her. If they've been searching for a week now and all they have is little scraps of evidence, that girl is as good as dead."

The cashier turned to me, "Would you like this in a bag?"

"Uh….uh….sure." I picked up a couple of those mini bottles of vodka off the little shelf on the counter, "And these too." The cashier took the bottles and rung them up too. He didn't even care to check my age or anything. I usually get away with this, mostly because I already look old enough. And just in case, I always make sure the cashier is a guy when I buy liquor, just in case I need to persuade him _another_ way. After I paid the guy, I ran right back out to my car, got in, and locked all the doors again. I made sure the top was down and all the windows were shut. I ripped open the bag of chips and began eating, and then I took a few bites of my bagel. I knew it wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, but this is the only real food I had eaten in a while. And then I remembered back to that dream I had. Suddenly, my stomach began to feel funny. I couldn't believe it. For once in three years, I had the urge to throw up again. I looked down at the food in my hand. I was already half way through the bag of chips and a few bites into the bagel. Why were all of these bad memories suddenly coming back to me? I threw the bag of chips and the bagel on the passenger's seat and decide to distract myself by driving around a bit. I figured maybe if I drove around enough, I could figure out where I am. I buckled my seat belt and hit the gas. I breezed down the road, trying to look at street signs. Of course, all I saw were a bunch of fancy names that I could read. So I decided to start looking for landmarks. I also punched "Toronto" into my GPS. I didn't wanna go home, but I just needed to know where I was in respect to home. For all I know, I could actually be _too_ close to home and end up getting caught. As I went down the road, I reached into my bag and cracked open a few of those vodka bottles. I took nervous gulps out of them as I navigated my way around this place.

"_Take a left in 700 feet__."_ said the GPS lady.

What? How do I know when I've gotten to 700 feet?

"_Now take a left.__"_

"Oh shit!" I yelled as I took a sharp left turn. My tires screeched as I almost swerved off the road. _Man that GPS is stupid._ I thought, _Then again, I did buy it for 2 dollars on eBay._

"_Take a right now."_ said the GPS.

I immediately swerved the other way. I picked up another bottle of vodka and began to drink that too.

"_You'll need to make a 'U' turn in 800 feet."_

"Screw you!" I yelled at the GPS. I was getting a little dizzy and tired. I was also really frustrated that I had been driving around for almost an hour now and I still had no idea where the hell I was.

"_Now take a 'U' turn, and then and immediate left."_

"What?" I forgot what a 'U' turn was. I hit the gas and I took a sharp right turn which I guessed was the 'U' turn. Or was it? "Ugh!" I got so mad I began beating the horn for no reason. I started making random turns and cutting people off, honking my horn at all of them. There weren't that many people out here, however, since it was like 3:00 in the morning. Finally, I pulled over into another alleyway. I sighed and leaned forward so my head was leaning against the steering wheel.

"_You have reached your destination."_ The GPS proclaimed.

"No I haven't!" I screamed back at it, "I don't know where the hell I am and I don't even know where I wanna go!" I reached over and unplugged the GPS. I thought about driving some more, when I began to feel very dizzy. I decided maybe it wasn't a good idea to keep driving. I crawled to the back of my car and lay down on the seat. I began to think about how Bullfrog, Cece, and Eli were doing. Were they worrying about me? Did _Eli_ worry about me? I thought about how protective he usually was of me. What if Eli's hoarding was getting worse because I ran away? I imagined Eli in his messy bedroom, flipping out like he did that day in school. For a second, I felt bad for what I may have been putting him through right now...

"_I can't believe that I ri__sked my life for a stupid whore like you! I hate you!"_

Wait a minute? Why was I feeling bad? Eli didn't miss me. He hated me. If he meant what he said that night, I couldn't imagine that he felt bad that I was gone. He was probably happy. Well, so was I. As I found a comfortable position in the back seat of my convertible, I became more and more dizzy…..

* * *

><p>I awoke in the back seat of my convertible. I stirred around and slowly blinked open my eyes. As my vision swam into focus, I saw the clock on my dashboard.<p>

_11:30 am_

I felt groggy and as my body became less tired, I felt a thrashing headache. I groaned loudly and slowly sat up. I looked around and realized that I had fallen asleep parked in another alley way. I looked through the back window, squinting at the bright sunlight that shone through. I saw many people on the road and all the stores on the street were open. I hopped off the seat and climbed up front. I pushed aside the discarded, half-eaten bag of potato chips and nibbled on bagel and crawled into the passenger's seat. I pulled down the mirror and studied myself. My eyes were tired looking and bloodshot. My face was flushed of color and my hair was all out of place. I looked like a train wreck. Whatever. I thought maybe I just needed a breath of fresh air or something. I reached behind me and grabbed my hoodie. I threw it on and zipped it up, and then put on a pair of sunglasses. I pulled the hood way up, before stepping out of the car and locking it. I stepped out of the alleyway and began to casually stroll about. I didn't realize that I was actually pretty hungry. To no surprise, what I ate last night didn't cut it. I tried looking around at places where I might get food. Suddenly, I came across a building with a big stoop. I walked up the steps and into the building. I glanced at everyone who was sitting around in tables.

_Tables. _I thought, _This must be a place to eat._

I walked up to the lady at what was I guess the cash register. "Hello." I greeted her. She looked up at me. "Yeah, hi, I would like to order a grilled cheese, some fries, and a milkshake!"

The lady looked annoyed at me, except I wasn't sure why. Finally she explained, "This is a _library_, dear."

I slowly looked around the room. I suddenly realized how quiet everyone was, and they were all staring at me.

_How stupid of me!_ I thought. "Ohhh…." I leaned in closer and then whispered, "I would like to order…." I made sure I was real quiet, "A grilled cheese….some fries….and a milkshake."

The lady continued to stare at me, as if I had three heads. "Yeah…..I think it would be best if you left." I stood there, confused. The lady waved at me, "Bye! Go away now, please."

I became angry with her, "Sure! It's because I'm Canadian, isn't it?" I yelled at her, "You stupid American fast-food jerks!"

"Hun," The librarian shook her head, "Don't make me call security on you."

"Fine!" I retorted, "Call them! I don't care! I don't wanna eat here anyway! I don't wanna be fat and lazy like the rest of you Americans! You come here to Canada and park your stupid McDonalds and shit, so we can be lard-asses just like you guys! Well I ain't buying! Good day!" With that I stormed out of the building. "Stupid racists." I muttered, as I walked down the steps. Just as I began to contemplate what I should do, I heard some really awful music playing. I realized that it was across the street at the church.

"_HALLELU! HALLELU! HALLELUJAH!" _They sang, _"HALLELU! HALLELU! HALLELUJAH!"_

I covered my ears. Man, that music was freaking depressing. I'm sure if God and Jesus, did exist, they'd be covering their ears too. I decided maybe I would go to the church, just to make fun of them. I quickly ran across the street. When I got to the front steps of the chapel, the people in the choir robes were filing out the door. "_Fabulous_ job!" I said sarcastically, while clapping my hands, "Such good music!" Then I muttered, "Assholes." I really hated church music. I figured maybe I could get something to eat here. Churches always hand out free food, especially those flaky cookie things that are like Kit Kats except without the chocolate. At this point, anything would do. I waited until the choir filed out of the church and then I went in. I looked around. I've only been in a church one other time, when I was like 12 and one of our friends had to get their conformination thingy:

"_Now repeat after me:" The priest told __the girl next to him, "'The lord shall guide me, the lord shall….'"_

"_I'm bored!" I loudly proclaimed, "Bible fight!" With that, I threw one of those story books at the old lady in front of me, and then one at the little kid next to me._

"_Jillian!" Cece hissed._

_Then I threw another one at Eli. "Ow!" Eli screeched, "Jesus Christ!"_

"_Eli!" Bullfrog hissed._

"_What?" Eli huffed._

"_You can't say Jesus Christ like that when you're in church." I explained at a normal voice volume, "You'll insult Jesus and then he'll come back to life just so he can commit suicide by re-nailing himself to the cross."_

"_Jillian!" All three o__f them yelled at me._

"_What?" I defended, "I'm just speaking the truth. After all, the reason he was born in the first place was because Mother Mary gave God a blowjob and her saliva impregnated God, because she was a virgin and couldn't get pregnant. Then nine months later, Jesus came out of God's penis." Silence filled the chapel and everyone stared at me shocked, except for Cece and Eli who were hiding their faces in their hands. Bullfrog cracked a smile and began to chuckle. Cece looked up and gave him a dirty look and he immediately looked the other way._

I kept looking around until I saw a booth-type thing. Curiously, I walked over to it. When I opened the door and stepped inside, I spotted a little window. You couldn't see through the window, but I heard someone on the other side rustling around. "Hello?" I called into the window.

"Yes?" said a man's voice on the other side.

"Who**…..**who's this?" I asked.

"I'm god." The voice snorted, "Hehe, nah I'm just here to clean up. Are you looking for the priest?"

"I'm not here for that." I explained, "I'm not even religious."

"Then why are you here?" The man behind the window asked.

"I don't know." I admitted, "I'm just kinda wandering around. I don't really have any place to go."

"So, your first choice is to come to the confession booth in a church when you're not even religious?" The man chuckled.

I shrugged, "Well….I'm kinda bored and when I heard the music….I don't know. A lot's been going on with me lately. I guess I just need someone to talk to."

"Well, the priest is off on an assignment and won't be back here until tomorrow."

"Ahhh…." I nodded, "That's ok. Talking to a priest would kinda make me feel uncomfortable anyway. Even though I'm a girl, I'm still afraid of getting molested by one of them."

The man behind the window began to laugh, "That's hilarious! I was thinking that exact same thing before I started coming here. But I'm pretty young myself and the priest has never tried anything on me."

"Haha good. So…." I twiddled my thumbs, "I know this is weird to ask but…..can I talk to _you_?"

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the window. Finally, I heard him chuckle, "Sure. Why not? You sound pretty cute."

"Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves." I told him, "I'm not here for phone sex."

He laughed, "Fine."

"Ok then….." I sighed, "Well, since this _is_ a confession booth, I guess I should start by….well….confessing."

"I'm listening." The man said.

"You CANNOT tell anyone!" I pointed out, "Seriously."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Good." I looked down at my hands, which were folded in my lap, "Well…..more than a week ago…..I…..I sorta ran…."

_Damnit, Jillian, just spit it out!_

"I ran away….f-from home." Once again, silence filled the other side of the booth. "Hello? You still there?"

"Oh-oh yeah. Wow, so why did you run away?"

"It's a long story…."

"I'm here all night." He informed me.

I smiled, and then I proceeded to tell the man everything that had happened. I told him about the changes at my school and all the other problems that lead up to me running away. I told him about me drinking and about how my parents wanted to send me to rehab. I also told him about Eli.

"Wow," the man said, "you and your brother sound pretty close."

"We are….." I sighed, "But he hates me now." A tear began to blur my vision, "He's probably at home hoping that I'm dead by now. But that's ok, because he doesn't ever have to see me again."

"Aww, I'm sure that's not true. He's probably beside himself with worry, especially from what you've told me about how protective of you he is."

"He _was_ protective of me." I wiped a tear off my cheek and fought back any more, "But he's disowned me now. He doesn't care about me anymore and to be honest I don't blame him. I mean, I used to think that him protecting me all the time was really annoying…..but now I miss that. I miss having someone caring about me like that. I miss _him_." At this point, I couldn't hold back anymore and I began crying.

"Ohhh, no….please don't cry." The guy said in a calming voice, "I hate to hear such a sweet girl like you crying."

I sobbed, "I-I'm s-sorry."

"It's ok. This is the home of God. You're safe here." I continued to cry my eyes out. He sighed, "Do you need a hug?"

"M-Maybe…."

I heard him step out of his side of the booth, "Come on out here."

I opened the door and stepped out as well. Before I even got a good look at his face, I threw myself into the arms of the figure in front of me. I knew it was really weird to be hugging a stranger like this, but that's how desperately I needed to be comforted right now. However, I felt the man's body freeze in my arms. Confused, I slowly pushed away from the stranger and looked up at him. Staring back at me was a face that was just as shocked as mine became when I saw him. My body froze as well and my throat felt like it was going to erupt…..

"FITZ?"

_**Ok, be honest. Who saw that coming? xD LOL! Reviews are much appreciated! :D**_


	13. You again

_**I'm sooo soooo sorry! I did not give up on my story! I just had the most intense cheerleading season slash college preparation in the past two months! But I promise not for a moment I didn't forget about this story! I hope everyone is still reading! And I hope you like this! :D I'm really really sorry!**_

**Jillian's POV**

There I stood in the middle of the strange chapel, face to face with..._him_. I was looking right at him and I still couldn't believe it. But what was Fitz doing here? Is this actually Juvie and not a church at all? My mind raced as I continued to stare puzzled at my enemy.

"J-Jillian?" Fitz stared back into my eyes, just as shocked and puzzled as I was, "B-But...h-how?"

Suddenly, the realization hit me. This was _Fitz_. The guy who pulled a knife on my brother and me. The guy who gave my brother the business every day and then tried messing with me when I came to Degrassi. The more I thought about it, the more seeing Fitz here seemed like a blessing. This was my chance to settle the score. "You…." I scowled, picking up one of the bibles.

"Oh, Jillian….." Fitz began, "Thank God…..it's you….you're here….."

"Oh shut it!" I huffed, slamming him over the head with the bible.

Fitz rubbed his head, "Ow! Look, Jill, I don't wanna fight with you!" Ignoring him, I gave him another crack over the head with the book. "Stop that! I need to talk to you!" I went for him with the book again, but then he ran under my arms and across the room. I angrily began plucking bibles off the shelves and pelting them at him. He stood in place and tried to shield himself with his arms, "Seriously, Jill, we need to talk!"

"And I need to talk to you…." I informed him, "The _hard_ way!" I threw another book in his direction and once again nailed him in the head. The chase continued, with me pelting books at Fitz, and Fitz ducking under anything to get out of the way. Holding his arms protectively over his head, Fitz slowly inched his way towards me. "I…said….get…away….from…..me!" I said, throwing a book at him with each word.

Somehow, he made his way over to me and grabbed my arm, plucking the book out of my hand. As I attempted to grab it away from him, he held his hand over his head so I couldn't reach it. "Jillian! Stop! I need to talk to you!" Fitz threw the book behind him and grabbed me by my shoulders, "Please! Just give me two seconds!"

"To do what?" I spat at him, "Run and get your knife?"

"No! Of course not! I just….I'm just so glad you're ok. Jill, I promised them I'd find you. I prayed every day that you would come home. " He smiled a little, "And you did." It was a bit strange the way Fitz looked. His smile wasn't his usual sinister smile, it was sorta warm looking, making Fitz almost look…..harmless.

"_Them_?" I interrogated, "Who's _them_?"

"Eli and Clare." he explained.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "When were you talking to them?"

"I found them." He told me, "I told them about how I found God and have understood my wrong doings. Clare forgave me….but Eli's still mad."

"No!" I said in a fake shocked voice, "After you almost _stabbed_ us? I don't believe it!"

"Jillian, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." His voice was sincere. Before I could protest, he took my hands and sat me down on one of the benches and then sat down next to me. "I'm really sorry about what I did. What happened at the dance…..I never meant to hurt you or Eli. I just wanted to scare you guys to teach you a lesson."

"A lesson!" I huffed angrily, crossing my arms, "What makes you think that _you__'re_ so tough that you have to teach us a lesson? Do you not remember me kicking your ass? If anyone hasn't learned their LESSON yet, buddy, it's YOU!"

"I know!" Fitz put his hands up in defense, "I know! That's my point. It was wrong. And I'm really, _really_ sorry. I thought you deserved it, but I'm the one who deserved to be punished." I wasn't sure if I was hearing Fitz correctly. Did he just admit that he was wrong? Did….did he just…apologize? I was so in shock from what my ears had just processed, that I couldn't speak. All I could do was just listen, as Fitz continued. "When I first got home from Juvie, I guess I got what I deserved…." Fitz lifted up his shirt, revealing multiple blotchy, black and blue bruises covering his abdomen. "My step-brother Steven….he never really loved me. But ever since I got home from Juvie, it's been full on hate with him. A few nights ago, he lost his temper." He shrugged and touched another bruise near his eye that I had not noticed before, "Beat me up."

Still having trouble processing the new information, I studied the bruises on his stomach. I slowly reached out my hand and lightly touched one of the black and yellow bruises. He flinched and inhaled through his teeth. "That looks bad." I told him.

He nodded, "He banged me up pretty bad." He turned around and lifted his shirt over his head, revealing an even worse looking back. Bruises and scars trailed from his lower back all the way up to underneath his shoulders.

"Oooh…." I cringed, "That must have been painful." I also noticed some different looking, longer scratches up on his shoulders. Strangely, they looked a bit more healed then the other scars, but they were still visible. "Wow, look at these. Your brother must have nails like a cat." I commented, trailing my finger along the scars on his shoulders.

Fitz turned his head over his shoulder and looked at what I was talking about. He then looked down and stared at the floor uncomfortably but cracked a small smile at the same time, "Oh…..those aren't from my brother."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow at him, "Then what claw monster _did_ this?"

"Uh…." Fitz chuckled nervously, "Do you remember when we got into that little, uh, brawl outside in the school parking lot?"

My eyes widened as I looked at the scars again, "_I _did this? Are you sure?"

Fitz chuckled again, "I'm as sure as I was the moment I felt you dig those cat claws into my shoulders."

Between looking at the scars that I apparently made on Fitz shoulders and listening to how lightly he was talking about it, I began to feel…and I cursed myself for feeling this way…..just a little bit sorry for Fitz. "Well….." I defended, "You….hit me in the face…..and….."

"Hey," Fitz interrupted, "I never said I didn't deserve it. You have no idea what a jackass I feel like for doing that….not that it made a difference of course. You still kicked my ass." He smiled weakly. I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't know how I should feel, or anything. Fitz sat there and waited for a response.

I shook my head, "I-I…I don't get it. I mean, the last time I spoke to you, I was totally wasted. Plus, we were at each other's throats. And now you're all apologetic?" I pondered some more, "Fitz…..why did you hate me and Eli so much anyway?

Fitz considered my question for a few seconds, before answering me, "Well, Eli's easy." Fitz explained, "He's this gorgeous emo pretty-boy that all the girls always go nuts over. It gets a little old for the people looking at it from the outside." Fitz eyes met mine, "And you…..man, I can't even begin to explain it."

I crossed my arms and my legs, "I've got all the time in the world."

"Well….." Fitz began, "You're just…..you. I mean….." He rubbed his forehead, "Lemme tell you a little story. Once, I knew a girl named Jessica. It was in fourth grade. Jessica, well, she was a beautiful little girl. She was blonde, she had big green eyes, and all the little boys liked her."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Did….._you_ like her?"

Fitz cracked a smile, "I mean, she was really cute…but she was also my worst enemy. She would bully me every day."

"Oh so she was a little bitch with a big mouth?" I concluded.

"Not only that…" Fitz looked down, breaking eye contact with me, "But she would pound on me too."

I looked at him, surprised, "You were beat up by a little girl?"

"Yeah," Fitz looked ashamed, "From the day she began to pick on me, all the guys would make fun of me. And I was scared of her. She may have been like three feet tall and weighing nothing, but she was a pretty tough girl. And that wasn't even the worst part. She was also a dumb ass." Fitz shook him head again, "She thought that two plus two was five…..a _fourth_ grader."

Fitz and I both began to laugh. "That's ridiculous." I told him.

"I know, right?"

I chuckled, "Even a five year old knows that two plus two is _six_."

Fitz stopped laughing and gave me a very peculiar look, except I didn't know why. "Uh, anyway, I remembered my whole life how horrible it was being picked on by some little bitch. I decided from then on, nobody picks on me. If they do, I'll strangle them and pound their sorry face in. I learned how to fight from my closest brother, Peter. He was a gangster, kinda a bad kid, but he was the only one of my brothers who actually liked me. He's in jail now. I only get to see him every now and again." He shrugged, "So, now I'm at Degrassi, and I see a girl like you…you just remind me so much of….."

"Jessica."

He nodded, "It's not _just_ that you reminded me of Jessica, but….you're just so…._you_. You show up to Degrassi in the middle of the year and almost instantly, everybody is talking about you and all the guys think you're hott as hell. And you're confident enough to confront a guy like me, and within a matter of days you have everybody laughing at me." I was surprised at what Fitz was telling me. I guess I hadn't realized what an impact I made. I suppose that most new kids would do anything they could to _not_ draw attention. But hey, it's not my fault if I can't contain myself. Fitz shrugged, "I've always been the big tough guy at Degrassi, and then you come along and…..I guess I got a little threatened by you. Maybe even a little…..jealous."

"You…..were _jealous_ of me?" I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I guess you could put it that way."

"Well, you just did." I pointed out.

Fitz and I both began to laugh again. "I guess I just got mad when I saw how easily all of my friends were….._hypnotized _by you."

"Don't worry." I told him, "I'm sure they all thought you were pretty too."

Fitz rolled his eyes, "Yeah and you should have heard their reactions when they heard about our fight outside of school: 'Man if Jillian was touching _me_ that much, I would be happy as shit….' and blah blah blah."

I raised an eyebrow at him teasingly, "So, you_ didn't_ like all that touching. You should be happy…..I certainly touched you a lot…..down _there_." I laughed a little.

Fitz narrowed his eyes at me, "Haha, _real_ funny." Then he cracked a smile, "Jillian….in theory, _any _guy would want to hook up with a beautiful girl like you. It's like…"

"Geographologoly?" I offered.

"Uh….sure." Fitz looked a bit confused. "But if I hooked up with girls who bitched at me all the time, I would've banged Bianca a long time ago."

"Pfffft!" I rolled my eyes, "Nice. I'm _so glad_ that I'm being compared to her."

Fitz laughed, "Bianca hates you because she knows that you're way hotter than her. The moment she first saw you, I could just see from the look in her eyes that her huge ego was taking a beating."

I cracked a smiled, but then another wave of sadness suddenly washed over me. "You know….." I looked at Fitz, shyly, "Bianca and I _may_ have had a teensy weensy little tiff not too long ago."

"Oh?"

"Yeah….." I bit my lip, "Actually, it was more of a really big enormous tiff that got way out of control and then we got into a catfight and I ended up kicking her ass and giving her a head injury when I threw a desk at her." I nervously giggled.

Fitz's eyes widened in shock. "Uhhh…..wow. W-Why?"

I shrugged, "It was just some stupid shit. She was saying bad things about me and Eli, and I got really mad." I sighed, "Unfortunately, now _Dr._ Simpson has diagnosed me with having anger issues and threw me right into the loony bin."

"Loony bin?"

"The anger management sen-e-mar thingy." I explained, "Where Riley had to go, remember?"

Fitz laughed, "Oh man, they put you in that?"

"They think that because I threw a desk at Bianca and….well….what happened with you, that I have trouble controlling my anger."

"You t-threw a desk….at Bianca?" I nodded. Fitz shook his head, still laughing, "I can't believe you actually picked up a desk and threw it at Bianca! How badly did she get hurt?"

"Her head was bleeding, and I heard that she got a minor concussion." I looked down sadly, "Of course I was happy to beat that bitch down, and I certainly don't regret it, but everybody at Degrassi now thinks that I'm just some hot-headed monster….even Eli. That's part of the reason why I ran away."

Fitz looked at me empathetically, "Trust me, I know how _that _feels."

"Well," I shrugged, "my therapist did say once that I may have had anger issues."

"Therapist?"

I sighed, "I needed a therapist back in 8th grade."

"Why?"

I gulped nervously. I hadn't told many people about my bulimarexia. I bit my lip and shuffled my feet, "I….had an eating disorder in 8th grade."

Fitz was taken aback, "What? _You_ had an eating disorder? But….why? I mean, I don't understand." He chuckled, "Other girls develop eating disorders because they're trying to look the way _you_ do?"

"Well…." I smiled, flattered, "It's a long story."

Fitz shrugged, "Well, any time you wanna tell me that story, I'm all ears."

"Hmm." I nodded, "Maybe later. Right now my head is kinda fogged up. It would be nice to get out of my system. The only people who know the whole thing are my parents, Eli and Ju-" My voice trailed off.

"And who?" Fitz asked.

"Uh…." I sighed, "Julia."

"Who's Julia?"

"She was…my best friend…like a sister to me."

Fitz seemed to notice how uneasy I was getting. "And…."

"And…..and last year around this time exactly…Julia was killed by a car." I watched as Fitz's eyes went from shocked to sentimental. "Just like that…..my best friend was gone."

"Wow…..Jill….." Fitz looked at me, "I am _so_ sorry. That's devastating."

"Yeah…." I agreed, "And I certainly wasn't the only one. Julia wasn't just my best friend. She was also Eli's first real girlfriend."

Fitz raised an eyebrow at me, "Eli dated your best friend? That's kinda shitty, just saying."

I shrugged, "I sorta felt a bit weirded out at first, especially considering that I've known Julia since I was like five. And then there were the times where I heard things in Eli's bedroom that I really wish I hadn't heard…" Fitz began cracking up. "But you know, I guess I just loved them both so much that seeing them that happy together made me happy too."

Fitz smiled, "You really love Eli, don't you?"

"He's like a brother to me!"

Fitz began to chuckle again, "Jillian, you're relationship with Eli…I wish that Steven and I had half of what you and Eli have between you." Fitz sorta half-smiled, "Under all this hate that I had for you and Eli, even then I've always secretly admired how close you guys are. The way you stick up for each other, how Eli would do anything to protect you…man, I've never been that close with _anybody_."

I thought for a moment, "I really do love Eli. He's my best friend. What do I do?"

Fitz looked intently at me, "Go back home. Your brother needs you…..now more than ever."

"What if Eli doesn't want me back?"

"He will," Fitz nodded, "I promise."

I began to think about Eli at home. Could he really actually be missing me? I wondered how he was coming along with his own issues. Had his hoarding problem gotten better? What if it got worse because of what I did? Oh no. If Eli really did miss me, I could only imagine what I had caused for him.

"Oh my god….you're right. I didn't realize that while I was feeling sorry for myself, Eli could be having a mental breakdown and I'm not there to help him. even if he is mad at me, I still love him!" I grabbed my hoodie and my bag, "I need to go home."

"Wait, Jill," Fitz stopped me, "You can't go home tonight."

"Why not?" My question was answered when I heard thunder and lightning outside. "Oh…."

"Yeah, it doesn't look safe to be driving," Fitz told me, "Especially for you….no offense."

"That's ok," I said, "I'll just sleep in my car and then get on the road tomorrow."

"What? You can't sleep outside in your car. It's pouring out."

"It's no big." I told him, "I've kinda been doing it every night now."

He gave me a surprised look, "You've been sleeping in your car every night?"

I shrugged, "Where else?"

Fitz looked out the window at the rain and then back at me, "Look, you can't sleep outside. It's not safe. How about you just get your stuff and sleep here."

"Sleep here?" I looked around, "Really?"

"Hey, I know you're not into all of this religious stuff, but there's a room in the back that's pretty cozy and it's a pretty neutral environment. I've slept there a few times myself."

"And…..you're cool with me staying here with you?"

"You're always welcome in the house of God." Fitz smiled.

"Well…..thanks." I smiled a little.

"Any time. And if you ever need anybody to talk to, I'm always here."

"So…." I looked intently at Fitz, "Does this mean we're…_cool_?"

"Well," Fitz folded his hands in his lap, "I'm remorseful for all the harm that I have caused you and Eli, and God seems to have forgiven me for my sins." He looked up at me, "So….I guess that's up to you. Are we cool?" Before waiting for me to answer, Fitz added, "Either way, there's no way in hell I'm letting you sleep outside tonight."

Fitz and I stared at each other for a moment. I smiled finally and offered my fist to him, which he pounded.


	14. Tell me it's not true

_**Hey, sorry this chapter is shorter than my other ones. The thing is, I was trying to write this chapter but it began to get really long, like 20 plus pages, and it began to take too much time to write. So I split the chapter in half and made two chapters. So the next chapter is gonna be what was supposed to be in this chapter. So here's this chapter, LOL! xD Ok, enjoy! ;D**_

**Eli's POV**

I raced over to the book store before school to see if they had out the new issue of _Gothic Tales_, and more importantly if they had picked my story. I looked into the window and saw the magazines all stacked up on the shelf in the front.

"There it is!"

I ran inside and grabbed one of the issues. Sure enough, after flipping through the pages, I came across it:

_Stalker Angel_, By Clare Edwards and Eli Goldsworthy

I added Clare's name as well, since she did such a good job editing my story. Delighted, I grabbed as many copies as I could. "I'll take all of them!" I told the salesman, slapping 40 bucks in his hand. He smiled at me as I raced back out of the store and down the street. I approached my school and saw Clare walking towards the building. I caught up with her just in time, "Feast your eyes on _this_!" I grabbed her, practically shoving the magazine in her face.

Clare smiled, "They picked your story!"

"Look closer!" I pointed to her name above mine, "Our first published collaboration!"

Her eyebrow0s furrowed in confusion, "B-But it's your story. You wrote it."

"With _your_ help, editor extraordinaire!" I placed my hands on her shoulders, "We are a _team_."

Clare looked surprised, "You really didn't have to do that."

"No!" I corrected her, "I wanted to! It's the beginning of our dreams coming true."

She sorta half-smiled, "Well, thanks, I guess."

"My dark instincts combined with your flare for romance, we are _unstoppable_." I smiled as an awesome idea came into my head. I threw my arm around Clare and held her close to me as we walked, "I say…..we lock ourselves in a room for a few months to work on our first novel together. Just you and me."

Clare averted her gaze from me and didn't say anything. Just then, Alli Bhandari ran past us, "Hey."

Clare stopped her, "Alli!" She turned around and Clare broke herself from my grip, leaving my arm suspended in mid-air, "Hey, we have an appointment to discuss dress options for the spring fling."

I raised an eyebrow to her, "You've just been published. Don't you think that a high school dance is a little _trivial_?"

"Not really…..dances are fun."

Fun. Please. I began laughing, "Balloons and banal top 40?" I mocked the idea.

Clare looked a bit insulted, "Well, if you're not interested, then don't come." With that, she left with Alli, leaving me alone in the parking lot.

What was that? Why did Clare seem so cold towards me? What did I do? Was it something I said? I began to panic. I didn't mean to upset her. I just didn't think that school dances were that much fun. The only reason I ever went to them was because my friends were there, but I truly just thought they were kinda stupid. But never mind that, I had to figure out what I did wrong so I can make it up. I then began to feel sad, because I knew that Jillian would know what to do in a situation like this. She may not be that smart, but she would always manage to tell me something reassuring.

_Oh, Clare's just being a retard! She loves you and you know it._

Her voice played in my head so clearly, it was almost as if she was here. But to my dismay, I was still standing alone in the empty parking lot. And then I remembered that everybody was heading to class right around now. I had to get going before I missed History. After getting to class just in the nick of time, I sat down for 55 minutes and tried to pay attention as Mr. Perino rambled on. But it was hard, because I couldn't concentrate at all. I couldn't stop thinking about Clare. Eternity passed before the bell rang. Now I had a free period, which was just what I needed. I went through the hallways searching for Adam. I spotted him going into Media Immersions class and caught him just in time. As he was entering the classroom, I grabbed his arm and literally dragged him back out into the hallway.

"I'm driving myself insane!"

Adam gave me an odd look, "Uh, ok."

"This morning Clare and I were joking around, like always." I told him, "But she was acting all prickly."

"Eli-"

"Every time Clare and I disagree on something, I-I panic!" I thought, "I need a plan to make everything ok. Just…..do something that's just for me and Clare!"

Adam placed his hands over mine, "Ok…..calm down. Now look, I'm sure everything's ok. Just…."

"Adam Torres!" Ms. Oh came up behind him, "No socializing during class time, unless you want a detention."

"Yes, Ms. Oh." Adam turned back to me before going inside the classroom, "Look, just promise me you'll relax, ok? I know things have been rough with Jillian gone missing and your, well, other problems. Just promise me you'll take it easy." I nodded and he went into the classroom with Ms. Oh.

_Ok,_ I told myself, _Ok….I'm not going to panic. Everything is ok._ I knew exactly what was wrong. Clare and I just needed to spend some time together. A _lot_ of time together. We needed time alone, away from everybody else, just the two of us. I needed to find something, somewhere, that the two of us could do where we could be together without being bothered by anybody else.

The day went on and I still had heard nothing from Clare. I was getting more and more worried about her being mad at me. Since I didn't have English period today, my only class with Clare, I never even got a chance to talk to her. I started to panic again, because it felt like the more time we spent away from each other, the worse things got. As the bell for lunch period rang, I spotted Adam loading some books into his locker. I went up to him, "Yo, Adam!" He turned around. "Do you know where Clare is?"

"Uh, haven't seen her." he responded

"I need to talk to her!" I panted, "It's been practically all day!"

"Whoah, just chill, alright? I can't believe you're still worked up over this."

"I'm just scared that I made her mad." I explained, "That's all. I just need to talk to her, work things out."

"Then why don't you just text her if you're that worried about it?" Adam suggested.

I looked at my phone, "I did! Five times! No response! Zippo!"

Adam put his hands up, "Ok, man, just chill. She probably hasn't had a chance yet. Give her time. I'm sure everything's ok."

I sighed, looking back at my phone, "You're probably right. I'm just being paranoid." I told him that, despite the fact that I still suspected Clare being unhappy with me.

Adam smiled, "See? There's nothing to worry about. Oh, and by the way, Mrs. Dawes wanted to see you."

"For what?"

"I don't know." Adam shrugged, "She just said for you to come to her classroom during lunch period."

As Adam walked off to lunch, I walked down the hall to Mrs. Dawes room. I stepped inside the doorway and knocked on the door. Mrs. Dawes looked up. "You, uh, you wanted to see me, Mrs. Dawes?"

"Yeah, come on in." Mrs. Dawes waved me in. She smiled and picked up a copy of _Gothic Tales_ off her desk. "This is really something, Eli. Your writing is beautiful." I beamed, pleased at my English teacher's approval. "It's…macabre." I chuckled. Mrs. Dawes' tone turned serious, "But…..I wonder if there's anything you wanna talk about."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "W-What do you mean?"

"Well," She looked back down at the magazine, "your protagonist murders his fiancée, your theme is spending eternity with the one you love…..it could be read as a cry for help."

"It's fiction." I reminded her.

"I know." Mrs. Dawes nodded, "But as writers we tend to pull from our own life experiences for inspiration."

I chuckled at the ridiculousness of what Mrs. Dawes was trying to tell me, "Miss….I'm not gonna kill Clare and drink her blood. I'm good."

"Ok. It's my job to check." Mrs. Dawes smiled, "Congratulations, Eli! I'm real proud of you. Hey, you know, the gothic lit convention is in Bloomington over spring break. With _Stalker Angel_ under your belt, might be worth checking out."

And then, out of nowhere, I heard….her again

_You should go and take Clare with you!_

It was Jillian's voice, as clear as a bell. I whipped my head around to look behind me, and then to the side.

Mrs. Dawes cleared her throat, "Uh, Eli are you ok?"

I turned back to face her. "W-What? Oh yeah, I just thought I heard….never mind." And then I thought about what I had "heard". "You know Mrs. Dawes…..maybe it would be…" I smirked, "Thanks." As I walked back out into the hallway, I began to think about what had just happened. Why was I hearing Jillian's voice in my head all the time now? That hadn't happened to me since Julia died. Sometimes it still happens with Julia, just not as often as before. After she died, I would hear her voice in my head talking to me. So now it's Jillian's voice. So did this mean Jillian was…..dead? I shuttered at that one recurring thought that I tried so desperately to banish from my mind. But could anybody blame me for feeling this way? Jillian had been missing now for nearly two weeks now. If only I could see her, and know where she was and what she was up to…

No.

I had to just get my mind off of Jillian, and I also had to get my mind off of Julia. Tomorrow was going to be the anniversary of her death. As stressful as it was, I couldn't let it get in the way of anything, especially not me and Clare. And Clare knew that I still thought about Julia. The minute I distance myself even a little from her, she's gonna think I'm not over her and not want to be with me. I needed to make Clare know how much I loved her, so that's why this trip was perfect. Clare and I would be getting just what we needed: alone time, away from everyone, just the two of us. While we were going to be away together, nothing besides Clare was going to cross my mind, and nothing besides me would cross hers.

I sat down against the lockers, as I fought my curiosity of what Jillian was doing right now…..

**Jillian's POV**

_I was standing in the middle of the woods and had absolutely no idea where I was. I began to wander through the strange place, until I heard something._

"_Jillian!" I recognized that voice. I knew I've heard it b__efore. And then I heard giggling and the voice spoke again, "Jillian!" This time, the voice was followed by a shutter sound. I looked around and began to realize that I was not in a strange place. I was at the old abandoned church, the one where Eli and I hung out as kids with…..that voice._

"_Jillian! Over here!" I heard the giggling again followed by another shutter sound. I turned around, only to see my late best friend standing there with her camera and smiling at me. She looked flawless, just as she had before the accident. She was just as alive as she had ever been._

"_J-Julia." I said in almost a whisper._

_Julia snapped another picture of me before walking over to me. She smiled at me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I shuttered at the simple fact that I actually felt her. I mean, she was…dead. And yet, here she was standing next to me with her hand on my shoulder. "Jillian….." She began, "Where are you?"_

_I was a bit confused by her question. I looked around and then back at her, "Uh…..I'm right here." I double checked, "At least I think I am?"_

_Julia chuckled, "I mean…..where are you?"_

_Ok. Now this was getting freaking weird. "Um, I'm RIGHT HERE. Are we having some sort of miscommunication here?" I waved my hands in front of her face, "Can you see me? Hello? Helloooooo!"_

_Julia only chuckled more, "Jillian, I can see you just fine. I'm talking about you running away." She then repeated the question for a third time, "Where are you?"_

_I finally understood, and I nodded. "Not home."_

"_Bingo." Julia smiled, "You never ran away from your problems before. I remember, the way you stood up to Mike, to fighting anorexia, you never took any crap from anyone. You never let anything get in your way. So…..why now?"_

_I sighed, "I felt like it was the right thing to do this time. Eli hates me. Even when I do go home, he's never gonna talk to me again. There's no way he's gonna forgive me."_

"_Oh Jill," Julia placed her hands on my shoulders, "I know that Eli will forgive you. Trust me."_

"_How do you know?" I asked her._

"_Because Eli loves you," She explained, "And now that I'm not around anymore, your all he has."_

"_He still has Clare, and Adam." I pointed out._

"_True, but you're his sister. You've know him his whole life. And believe me, there are some things that he won't even be able to go to his girlfriend or best friend with. You're always gonna be the closest thing to him and the only reason he'll ever act the way he does is because he wants to protect you. And right now, he needs you."_

_I was silent for a few moments, trying to take in everything that my friend had just told me. I then began to feel sad, for I realized how crushed Eli must be feeling right around now. In one or two days, it was going to be the exact day that Julia died last year. I sighed and looked up at Julia, "I really miss you. I wish you were still here. You would know exactly what to do."_

_Julia smiled and we hugged each other. The series of events was enough to bring tears into my eyes. "I know you and Eli miss me. I'm sorry I can't be here." She pulled away and looked at me, "But I'm never too far away. I'll always be with you."_

_I smiled at her, "You were like a sister to me. You know that?"_

"_You'll always have this place to remember me by."_

"_Well, there was one other thing…." __I frowned and placed my hand on my neck, "I think I lost it though."_

"_Oh don't worry about that." Julia smirked, "I'm pretty sure that necklace will turn up. I'm glad you kept it all this time." I smiled at her._

_Suddenly, I heard a rumbling sound in the distance. It began to get closer. Julia and I looked at each other in confusion. Then I heard a train whistle. The rumbling got louder and closer. I saw headlights coming towards us. It was a…train? The train was just inches away from me…._

I jolted up. I looked around and saw that I was in a little room. I could still hear the sounds from the train. In the corner was a single window. I saw a train outside passing by and then taking off into the distance. I looked down at the floral patterned comforter that I was under.

Fitz walked into the room, "Yeah, that train wakes me up all the time too." He chuckled, "That's why I usually spend my nights away from home at that internet café down the street."

I rubbed my eyes and yawned, "Uh….what time is it?"

"12:21." He told me, "You slept all morning."

I let out a groggy moan, "Fantastic."

"It's fine. You needed it." He told me, "You were so out of it yesterday."

I sat up in bed, "Well, this sure beats sleeping in my car out on the streets, and having to shower every day in that pond."

"I know how that feels, trust me." Fitz commented, reaching into a big brown paper bag that he brought with him, "I got some coffee."

I stood up out of bed, noticing that I was still in my clothes from yesterday, and took one of the coffees that Fitz handed me, "Thanks."

"So," He asked, taking a sip of his coffee, "Do you normally talk in your sleep?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Well, I don't think so. Except my parents told me while I had my eating disorder, they could hear me talking in my sleep and having nightmares. Why? Was I doing that now?"

"You were saying 'Julia'." Fitz explained.

I slowly began to think back to my dream, where Julia came and talked to me. I explained to Fitz, "Tomorrow, it's gonna be the exact day last year that Julia died. It's been a whole year without my best friend."

"Julia is with God now. She's safe." Fitz placed his hand on my shoulder, "I mean, I know you don't believe in God, but she's in a good place now. And I'm sure that the dream you had was her way of letting you know that she wants the same thing for you."

I nodded. Just then, a tall man in a black robe stepped into the little bedroom. "Oh Mark, you're here early. Good."

"I was here all night, Father Gregory." Fitz looked at me, "This is Jillian. She needed somewhere to stay for the night."

The man studied me for a good 10 seconds, and his eyebrows knit together, "Is this….that girl? That girl who went missing more than a week ago? The Goldsworthy girl?"

I gulped hard, "Uh…..well…yes. But don't call the police or anything. I promise you that I'm going home."

Father Gregory nodded, "Well, in that case, I wouldn't call the authorities on you. If you make a promise to fix your problems on your own, it's the Lord's intentions that I allow you to make things right all on your own."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"When do you intend to head home?" Greg asked me, "I mean, you are welcome to stay here as long as you would like. If anywhere besides home, you're always safe in the place of God."

Fitz looked at me, "Well, today is pretty heavy traffic. And by the time it calms down, it'll be dark."

I began to think. Was I actually gonna do this? Was I even ready to go home? What will Bullfrog and Cece think? Would they be happy to see me, or would I be coming home just so they can lecture me and then send me off to another boarding school? What about Eli? If anything, he was really the only reason I wanted to go home. He was the one I hurt the worst. If he would want me home, that's all that mattered. "I'll leave tomorrow morning." I decided, "It'll give me the rest of today to think things over." I looked at Father Greg, "Um, if that's ok with you?"

Greg smiled, "Of course. You're making a good decision, Jillian."

"I sure hope so." I told him, "Because there's somebody back home. Somebody who needs me."

Father Greg smiled at me again, and then turned to Fitz, "Mark, I have to conduct a service today at 3:00. You don't have to be here for that. But you must be back here by 8:00."

"Curfew. Got it." Fitz replied. Father Gregory left the room. Fitz turned to me, "So Jill, you never told me what happened with your whole bulimia thing."

"Oh right…..that." I became uneasy.

"Listen, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to…."

"No," I told him, "No, I-I want to….I really want to."

He looked outside and then back at me, "Tell you what. Put on your little hoodie disguise. How about you and I go drive around a bit and you can tell me then."

"Ok." It sounded refreshing. I was glad that I finally had a real place to stay, but even this church was a little stuffy.

Fitz and I got into his car and he started down the road. He was right about the traffic. Eventually though, he made it onto a quiet road, perfect for just driving around and talking. I decided to break the ice, "So…..it started in 8th grade. I began to not be able to fit kid sizes anymore, and I thought it was because I was getting fat." Fitz nodded. "That September, I ran for school president. My competition was this girl Amanda…."

I told Fitz everything. I told him everything from the picture on twitter and what Amanda said about me…..all the way to the one night where it all fell apart…..

_**Next chapter: you hear about the night it all fell apart! :D "All Falls Apart" is next!**_


	15. Holding on

**_Alright so here's that chapter! *applause* I promise you that the next updates will be a lot quicker! I've been working so I'm really sorry that it was so late! But the other chapters are already started on so now the updates will be quick! Again, I'm sorry! I suck! :P And also, the next chapter will actually be "All falls apart", not this one. :PP_  
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**Eli's POV**

**_Eli, I think you should come to the dance and check on Jillian. She doesn't look too good._**

_That's the text that I had gotten from Julia, who Jillian had been invited to the Chives school dance with Jillian and John. I took a bus up to her school and walked from the bus station to her campus. As I walked up the steps, I saw four boys outside. One was passed out on the ground, two of them were puking their guts out, and the last one was rolling around on the roof of a car, laughing like some retarded first grader. I shook my head in disgust. Every time there was a school dance anywhere, there were always a few idiots who would get drunk or high. I was above that kind of stuff, though. Unfortunately, I took it that Jillian had drank too much and that's why I was over here to pick her up. I walked through the doors of the school and walked down the hall. I saw a sign that had an arrow pointing to the gym. I walked down there and followed the music to the gym. I was greeted with blaring music and flashing lights and hundreds of energetic middle schoolers dancing away to the music. I looked around until I saw a familiar raven-haired girl._

_"Julia!" I called over the music._

_She spotted me and then ran over, "Oh, Eli! Thank god you're here! I think there's something really wrong with Jillian!"_

_"Has she been drinking?" I asked._

_"I don't think so." Julia told me, "Trust me, I was with her all day before the dance."_

_"Where is she?"_

_Julia grabbed my hand, "In the hallway with John! Come on!"_

_Julia and I ran out of the gym and down the hall. We finally came across the two sitting on the bench. John had his arm around Jillian with a worried look on his face, and Jillian was hyperventilating. I ran up to Jillian and knelt down in front of her, "What happened?"_

_"I dunno mayn!" John shook his head, "We were, like, dancing and then Jillian just started to freak out! This shit is scary!"_

_"John!" Julia crossed her arms, "You were supposed to go get a teacher!"_

_John looked up at her in confusion, "Oh…..you meant right NOW?"_

_Julia did a face palm, "Never mind! I'll go get the teacher. Eli, you stay here with Jillian."_

_Julia ran down the hallway. I looked back at Jillian, who was still freaking out, "Jillian….Jillian, look at me!" Jillian looked at me and I cupped her face in my hands, "It's gonna be ok. Just…..tell me what happened."_

_"I-I….." Jillian gasped, "I don't k-k-know! This...*gasp*…just…..*gasp*…started…*gasp*…happening!" Jillian's panting and gasping got worse._

_"Jillian, calm down….." I begged, rubbing her shoulders, "Just try to relax. Julia's getting help." Jillian nodded, but then her face began to turn purple and her eyes grew wider. "Jill?" With one final gasp, she collapsed to the floor. "Jillian!" I shook her. She didn't move. "JILLIAN!"_

_"Uh…..is this bad?" John asked._

_"YES!" I screamed in his face, "THIS IS BAD! WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR BLOND-HAIRED HEAD OUT OF YOUR FREAKING ASSHOLE AND DO SOMETHING TO HELP!"_

_"Whoah, just take it easy, mayn!" John put his hands up in defense._

_"I'm not gonna 'take it easy, mayn'!" I told him, "Jillian is unconscious!" _

_Julia arrived with three teachers behind her. "What happened?" One of them asked frantically._

_Julia looked at me with wide, worried eyes, "She's unconscious!"_

_"Call the police." One of the teachers instructed the other._

_"Hello 911?" The other teacher said on the phone, "I'm at Chives boarding school. There's a student unconscious. We need an ambulance right now."_

_Within a matter of minutes, the ambulance arrived and paramedics rushed in with a stretcher. Jillian was still unconscious when they took her inside the ambulance. Julia and I rode to the hospital with her. Julia began crying and I wrapped my arms around her in comfort. I was so scared, I felt like crying as well. "What do you think happened?" Julia asked in almost a whisper, "She wasn't drinking at all, I swear."_

_"I don't know." I squeezed Julia tighter._

_We arrived at the hospital and Julia and I were asked to wait inside the waiting room. We were there for an hour practically, before Cece and Bullfrog came huffing and puffing into the waiting room. "What happened?" Bullfrog demanded. Cece's puffy red eyes clearly showed that she had been crying._

_"We don't know." Julia and I said together._

_Finally, a doctor came out into the room and approached us. Cece and Bullfrog stood up. "Is our daughter ok?" Cece asked him, "Can we see her?" _

_Cece headed towards the door but the doctor stopped her, "Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask that you stay here."_

_"Our baby's in there!" Cece cried._

_"Jillian will be fine." He promised, "We need to run a few more tests. But she's conscious now." All four of us sighed in relief. "We'll let you know when you can come in and see her."_

_"Well, can you at least tell us what happened?" Bullfrog requested._

_"Yes." The doctor sat down with us, "First I want to ask you if you were ever aware of any symptoms of an…eating disorder." My parents looked shocked. "You see, we've run a few tests and we've found that her body has entered into starvation. From the records of her last check up with her regular doctor, it looks like she's lost a lot of weight."_

_Cece had a guilty look on her face, "We have noticed that she's not been eating very much lately. We just thought that she was stressed out though. She was elected student body president a week ago. And there was this horrible girl Amanda, who was saying bad things about Jillian like…." Pain washed over my mother's face, "Like she was fat." She then began crying all over again, "Oh no! It can't be true! We couldn't have been that blind! It has to be something else!"_

_The doctor shook his head, "I'm afraid it's true. Because in one of her blood samples, we found that over this week, she's had an excessive use of a drug called ipecac. It is used to induce vomiting." Cece covered her mouth with her hand and Bullfrog put his arms around her. "Don't worry, Ma'am. Everything's gonna be all right. Jillian got very lucky. Over-use of the drug ipecac can cause seizures and could have even lead her to have a heart attack." _

_Cece calmed down a bit and nodded, "So, our little girl is gonna be ok?"_

_"She'll be fine. She's gonna have to stay here for a few days for some physical therapy, though. And we'll have to continue to work with her to get her digestive system back again. Also, due to her condition, we're referring her to a therapist who specializes in preteen and teenage girls with eating disorders. I'll let you come in and see her as soon as we're done with the final test." Just as the doctor left, Cece began to fall apart again._

_"I'm a horrible parent!" She cried into Bullfrog's chest, "How could all of this be right under my nose and I was too naïve to see it? I mean, I never would have expected Jillian to have an eating disorder. She's always seemed so confident and she's beautiful! I could never imagine that she would be unhappy with her appearance."_

_"It's ok," Bullfrog comforted her, "Parents never expect their kids to have problems. Let's just be happy that we caught up with all of this before it got out of hand."_

_Then I began to feel guilty. I knew that Jillian had a problem. I never said anything though, because I didn't want to believe it myself. I could hear her throwing up in the bathroom last weekend when she was home. I wanted it so badly to be my imagination. Julia leaned over and rested her head in my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her. We waited for what seemed like forever, until finally a woman came out of the office. "Hello." She greeted us with a smile, "If you would like to check up on Jillian right now, just follow me." We all stood up at once. "In and orderly fashion, please. Thank you." We followed the nurse into the room where Jillian was. "Just don't crowd her. She's still not feeling too well."_

_Bullfrog and Cece rushed in and I followed behind them with Julia. "Oh, are you ok?" Cece went over to Jillian who was lying in bed and hugged her._

_"Not really." Jillian replied groggily. She still didn't sound good, but I was just happy to hear her voice again._

_"Jillian….." Cece began, "Why didn't you tell us, baby girl? How could you ever think you weren't beautiful?"_

_Her reply broke all our hearts, "Because I'm not. I starved myself sick and I'm still fat."_

_"Fat-!" Cece began to freak out, but Bullfrog stopped her. She took a deep breath, "Ok…..were gonna get you some help. You're just a little sick, that's all. But Jillian, listen to me….don't listen to what anybody ever says. You are BEAUTIFUL. Everybody thinks so. Everybody always says that we have the most beautiful daughter….." Cece looked over at me, "….and son. And soon, you'll realize that again." Jillian looked down in discomfort. _

_Bullfrog reached over and rubbed her head, "It's true, Jill." After speaking with Jillian for a little while longer, Bullfrog and Cece left the room to speak with the doctor. I walked over to Jillian's bedside, "Hey…."_

_Jillian looked a bit happier when she saw me, "Hey." Her voice was so quiet, it was almost inaudible._

_"Are you feeling better?"_

_"A little." She winced and clutched her stomach, "Not really. My stomach still hurts like hell."_

_"Jillian!" Julia pushed past me and pulled Jillian into a hug._

_"Julia…." Jillian hugged her back._

_"I was so worried! I thought you were gonna die!" Julia hugged her tighter._

_"Uh…..Ju-Julia?" I commented, due to the fact that Jillian began to look suffocated._

_"Sorry!" Julia let go of her. She sighed, "This is all my fault. I should have known what you were going through."_

_"It's not your fault. It's my fault. I'm the one who got fat." Tears began to fill Jillian's eyes, "I want so badly to be beautiful."_

_I pushed past Julia and grabbed Jillian's hands, "You ARE beautiful! I know that you can't see that now, but you need to believe me." I thought for a second and then I pulled out my phone, "Here, look at this…." I went onto Twitter and gave Jillian the phone._

_She looked annoyed at me, "I already saw the picture, Eli."_

_"Yeah? Did you see the comments that Amanda got from posting it?"_

_Jillian took the phone out of my hand and scrolled through the comments:_

**_- Amanda, you spelled PHAT wrong._**

**_- Jillian is gorgeous! You're just a jealous fat pig!_**

**_- Whaaaat? She's perfect! Get a freaking life!_**

**_- Jillian? FAT? Is this supposed to be a joke?_**

_Jillian put the phone down. She looked up at me. "They're all just trying to make me feel better."_

_"AND they all think you're beautiful!" Julia added. Jillian looked back down again. Julia placed her hand on top of Jillian's, "Look, it's all gonna be ok. Just relax and…think happy thoughts." Jillian smiled a little. Julia reached behind her neck and undid her scarlet "J" choker, "Also, I want you to have this." She placed it in Jillian's hand._

_Jillian looked down at the necklace and back up at Julia, "You're giving me your lucky necklace? But it's your favorite-"_

_"You need the luck now more than I do." Julia smiled, "And I want it to be a reminder to you that I think you're beautiful no matter what anybody says." The two girls hugged again._

_"It's perfect." Jillian said looking at the necklace, "And it good because both of our names start with 'G'." Julia and I looked at each other and giggled._

_I then walked over to Jillian and hugged her as well, "Just try to remember how beautiful you always knew you were." Jillian smiled at me._

_As Julia and I left the hospital, we spotted three boys walking in, carrying another boy who was completely unconscious. "Yo man, he is MEST UP!" One of them said, "He dun not tell us he never dun 20 shots before!" They were followed by one of the chaperones from Jillian's school, who looked more annoyed with the boys than concerned for them._

"And then after that Jillian went for counseling." I told Jessi, "We eventually got through to her. And that's pretty much the story."

Jessi put her pen down, "Wow." That was all she could say. My shrink was speechless. "Just…..wow."

"Crazy, right?"

"I just…" Jessi shook her head, "I hear stories about these girls all the time. I have patients who are going through the exact same things Jillian is going through."

"Of course what Jillian went through isn't rare." I agreed.

"But this story…." Jessi smiled at me, "I think the reason why it was so empowering and really touched me was mostly because of the relationship that you and Jillian have."

"We are…were very close." I nodded.

"Tell me, Eli," She continued, "Where is Jillian right now? Like, is she still insecure about her weight, or…..?"

I thought for a moment, "Her weight is still important to her. But she's pretty much past the whole eating disorder thing. She does have anger issues…and she drinks…..she started drinking a lot before she left. My parents wanted to send her to rehab and Principal Simpson put her in an anger management seminar. That's kinda when everything blew up. But up until then…she was perfectly fine."

She nodded, "I think that maybe all Jillian needs is to feel like somebody understands her. You know, someone to pull her out of her slump."

"I tried…." I shook my head, "She just kept saying she didn't want anybody's help, because she thought that people were trying to 'change her'."

"All you need to do is listen, and be patient." Jessi advised me.

I sighed, "Yeah, well…..maybe that advice will work with someone else one day," I looked hopelessly up at my therapist, "because I don't think I'll ever get that chance with Jillian ever again."

It was true. The more time dragged by, the more hopeless finding Jillian seemed. There were always stories on the news of children going missing for a long time, with hopeful parents and family keeping up the search for what seems like forever. But how often do those kids ever get found? If they do ever end up finding the kid, most of the time it's the dead body of the missing kid locked up in some guy's trunk. So who am I to get lucky and have my sister come back to me safe and sound? I'm kidding myself. On the other hand, who's to say I _won't_ get lucky? I mean, there's still a chance, right?

Still frustrated and confused as I left the therapist's office in my hearse, I shot Clare a quick text message:

_Hey Clare_

_Let's meet at the church and talk_

_E_

I drove Morty into the woods and parked it right near the crumbled building. I opened the door and small animals immediately ran away, startled by the loud heavy metal music blasting out my speakers. That is, if the giant hearse parked in the middle of the woods wasn't enough to scare the little critters away. I sat up on top of Morty and listened to the music, until I saw Clare on her bike.

"Clare!" I called over the music. I hopped off of Morty's hood and reached in the window to turn down the volume.

"Hey Eli." Clare leaned her bike up against a tree and walked over. Without warning, I grabbed Clare and pulled her into a hug. Clare stood there frozen for a second, but slowly hugged me back, "Um…..wow. Ok…."

"Sorry," I slowly pulled away, "I just missed you. We haven't spoken to each other all day."

"Oh yeah, I got your texts….it's just that I've been so busy today, Alli still needs help decorating the gym for the dance, I have a paper to finish for tomorrow-"

"No need to explain." I stopped her, "I just wanna know that we're good."

"Well of course, Eli." Clare reassured me, "Why wouldn't we be?"

"You're amazing Clare, you know that? You're my inspiration." She smiled at my comment. "We share a passion." I reminded her, "If we write together we can maybe even publish a novel!"

She shrugged, "I-I guess so….."

"So I found the perfect thing for us!" Before Clare could say another word, I whipped the two tickets out of my back pocket, "All access passes to the gothic lit convention!"

Clare's face didn't light up like I had expected. Instead, she just looked at me confused, "But that's in Bloomington."

"I know! We get to spend two days together, just you me and Morty. I'm sure your mom won't mind as long as we tell her my parents are chaperoning." I took both of her hands in mine, "This is what we've been waiting for Clare. The beginning of our dream."

"W-Wait….." Clare shook her head, still confused, "So you planned this whole trip by yourself and you think that I can just pack up and leave for two days and my mom will just be ok with it?"

"Don't worry about it!" I told her, "I'm gonna have Bullfrog call her." It then occurred to me that I hadn't even discussed this with my dad. But I didn't have to worry. Bullfrog was cool with just about anything. "Everything's ready to go. So, what do you say?"

Clare didn't say anything for a few seconds. She nervously bit her lip and shuffled her feet. Finally, she shrugged and said without any enthusiasm, "Ok, I'll go."

A little disappointed with her reaction, I narrowed my eyes at her, "I thought you would be a little bit more excited."

"What else do you want?" She answered curtly, "We're going."

I nodded and smiled as awkward silence followed. On the inside, I was freaking out.


End file.
